"Ah. Well... so did I."
For another long while, they just lay there, listening to the wind whistle through the open stone portals that used to be windows. It came to Harry that Snape was being deliberately quiet, letting Harry guide the conversation. Maybe it was because Harry had insisted he wanted to talk; his teacher was letting him.
"Why did you tell Hermione to get out like that?" he finally gathered his nerve to ask. "I was just trying to apologize, you know. I'd have told you in person if you'd have come up here."
Snape rolled slightly onto his side, facing Harry, settling the boy's head onto a pillow. It came to Harry to wonder how much light there was, how much Snape could see of his expression. Wondering that made him want to hide.
"I suppose," Snape said after a moment, "I used that tone of voice because I mistook what your apology was for, Harry."
"Huh? What did you think it was for?"
He felt his teacher's legs shifting on the bed. The sound of it was restless. "I had been delivering potions shortly before, when you were yelling at your friends not to even mention my name. After Miss Granger saw fit to announce my presence--tactless girl--I surmised you were apologizing that I had overheard how much you detested me."
"But I don't detest you."
"Yes," Snape drawled beside him. "I had gathered as much."
Harry almost wanted to punch him lightly in the ribs, but decided it was a little too juvenile for the Professor to tolerate well. "What you heard was me yelling for them to just shut up, 'cause Ron seemed to think you could have saved me from everything if you'd wanted to bother," Harry admitted, frowning. "He doesn't get it. You were all I had, at that meeting, and you had to keep your head and keep yourself alive so you could get me out!"
"I think you actually do understand," Snape murmured, sounding rather startled.
"Yeah, of course I do," Harry muttered. "I'm not the least bit stupid. But even so, you know..."
"I know," Snape commiserated. "Well, then. I suppose I must have frightened Miss Granger."
"Hermione's pretty fright-proof."
"Ah, yes, the first-year who thought she could handle a Mountain Troll all by herself."
"Oh, she just made that up," Harry clarified.
"Hmm," Snape murmured, but didn't ask more. Or rather, not about that. "It occurs to me to wonder why you sent Miss Granger with that apology, Harry."
Uh-oh. Harry braced himself, and admitted in a small, guilt-ridden voice, "Because you can't... er, work for the old crowd any longer, at least not doing your usual job, if you catch my drift... and now when your forearm starts to hurt, you won't be able to do anything about it, and... well, it's all my fault!"
"It is?"
Whatever Harry had expected to hear, it certainly wasn't that. "Well, yeah," he went on, thinking it a bit weird he'd have to. "I mean, I left the house."
"Ah." Snape laid a hand on his shoulder. "This reminds me of another conversation we've had. I think it's a habit of yours, this taking on of far more blame than is warranted by the circumstances."
"Professor, I left the house," Harry tried explaining again, his tone that time the same kind of one he'd use to get a point across to a five-year-old.
"Yes, I know, Harry," Snape replied in exactly the same tone. "But this isn't like your typical escapade. You didn't use your father's invisibility cloak; you weren't trying to sneak out of bounds."
"What difference does that make? I ended up next door," Harry protested. "And... and..." he gulped. "I figured you'd think I al- almost deserved what I got, 'cause I wanted to know what it was like at a m- m- meeting, and I was really rude to you over it, and then I found out the h- hard way---"
The hand on his shoulder squeezed, hard. "That is obscene, Harry. You didn't deserve what happened."
"I didn't say I deserved it, I said you probably thought I did!"
"You can't really think that of me," Snape quietly asserted, but then his voice lost its confident edge. "Can you?"
"Guess not," Harry said after a moment. "Um, I mostly wondered about it after Dumbledore explained how Malfoy managed to nab me, 'cause you'd been up here being so mean to me. But then later..." Harry sighed. "I shouldn't have let it happen, I know that."
Snape sounded like he was scowling when he countered, "I'm the one who let it happen, Harry. It was my job to protect you! Mine, and Lupin's, I should say, but I was the one who inspected the cellars. Quite obviously, I didn't do an adequate job of it, as I left not only an exit, but one which didn't even appear to be one." He paused to draw a slow, controlled breath. "It is I who should apologize to you."
"If you think that," Harry cried, those awful feelings from that night welling up in him, "why'd you tell the headmaster you didn't even want to make my Eyesight Elixir? You said you'd rather see me suffer!"
Snape went absolutely rigid as the words shot from between his teeth. "Harry! I wasn't talking about you!"
"You called me an irresponsible idiot," Harry blubbered, tears spilling into his eyes and down his cheeks as he balled up a fist and punched his pillow. "You always call me that."
"Because I've seen you be one," Snape dryly put in, but then his voice gentled once again. "But not this time, Harry. You didn't know you were leaving all margin of safety. You weren't indulging your saving-people thing."
"It was a s-- s-- saving-snake thing," Harry miserably admitted, sniffling, raising a pajama-clad arm to wipe at his eyes. "I just w-- wanted to find Sals, that was all."
"Shhh," Snape murmured, stroking his hair. "It's all right, Harry. When I realized what had happened, I was horrified, but I wasn't angry with you, I promise."
"Yeah, well you were angry at somebody," Harry returned, unwilling to let it go.
"Lupin."
"Remus?" Harry questioned, lifting a confused face, though it didn't do much good when he couldn't see.
"Yes, Remus," his teacher snarled, abruptly losing all semblance of calm as he yanked both his hands off Harry. "That idiot werewolf left the house, and then, as if that weren't irresponsible enough, sauntered back in broad daylight, just as if he'd never heard of a Floo! He practically invited Lucius Malfoy to investigate Grimmauld Place! And for what? Bloody ice cream, as though you were a child to be comforted by sweets!"
Harry didn't think he'd ever heard Snape be angrier, not even when Sirius had mysteriously escaped the Dementor's Kiss. He shivered, glad that all that fury wasn't directed his way. On the other hand, he didn't want it directed at Remus, either.
"It was an innocent mistake," he pointed out. "Kind of like mine. I mean, Remus wasn't trying to give away my location."
"It was nothing like yours!" Snape sneered. "Short of examining blueprints, you had no way of knowing that you were following your snake through an outside wall. Lupin knew full well that certain parties wanted you and were more than capable of following him to you!"
"But he didn't know Uncle Vernon had blabbed I'd been hanging about with him!" Harry said in Remus' defense. "He didn't know anybody would think to follow him!"