“Alpha and Omega?” said John Roy.
“What are you talkin’ about?” said Sally Lynn.
“The convict!” I said. “Where’d you go? I lost you—”
“Looks like you lost your shoe,” said John Roy.
“Yeah, where’s your shoe at?” said Sally Lynn.
Aunt Radene was standing there, looking from them to me and back again. “John Roy,” she said. “Sally Lynn—”
But then I went crazy. I ran inside and upstairs and fell on the bed and I bet I sobbed for fifteen minutes. After a while I heard Aunt Radene come up and say, “Mary Lou,” but I pretended like I was asleep. Then I did fall asleep, and I slept right up until dinnertime, but I decided not to go downstairs. I decided I wouldn’t eat until Carl Ray promised to take me home.
Carl Ray is the one who finally came upstairs to tell me dinner was ready. I pretended to be asleep, but he sat down in the chair by the bed and picked up my Odyssey and started reading. Finally, I decided to open my eyes or they were going to start twitching.
I said, “What part are you on?”
“Where Telemachus realizes who the beggar is.”
“Oh yeah. And Telemachus and Odysseus cry. Carl Ray? Can we go home?”
“I am home.”
“I mean to my home. Can we go back? Pleeeassse?”
I thought I was going to start crying again.
He nodded.
“Does that mean…?”
“We’re going on Friday—”
“But couldn’t we go before Friday? Please? You could go out with Beth Ann then. Don’t you think you should get back? What if Beth Ann finds somebody else?”
“Somebody else?”
“Yeah. Like what if her old boyfriend comes back?”
“Old boyfriend?”
“Well, gosh, Carl Ray, you’re not her first boyfriend.” I guess I shouldn’t have said that. He looked sad.
“Can’t go before Thursday.”
“Okay then, Thursday. Could we leave Thursday?”
“Yup.”
Oh, I wanted to jump up and kiss that cabbageheaded Carl Ray! I felt better just knowing we could leave one day sooner. So I went downstairs with Carl Ray for dinner. Carl Ray is okay.
I thought everybody would fall all over themselves teasing me about Booger Hill and the convict, but Aunt Radene must have threatened them, because no one said a word to me all through dinner. John Roy and Sally Lynn didn’t say anything to anyone at all. They just stared down at their plates.
We’re going home Thursday!!! Day after tomorrow!!!
What a horrible morning. I can’t wait to get out of here. I don’t care if I never come here again.
First of all, I woke up with a headache and an earache. The headache was from not getting much sleep again. I had horrible dreams about being on a ship and I was trying to get home and there was this awful storm that made the ship toss and roll around and we couldn’t see where we were going. Carl Ray was there—I think he was the captain.
Anyway, I just knew I was going to die before I got home. I kept praying to Athene to please let me get home, and if she got me home, I would be a much better person. I woke up before we ever got anywhere, so I don’t know what would have happened. I didn’t want to go to sleep again, because I was afraid I would be back on the ship. So I lay there thinking about Alex and Mom and Dad and Maggie, Dennis, Dougie, and Tommy. I tried to picture their faces and hear their voices.
The earache is from swimming in the swimming hole, I think. It hurts so bad, I can hardly open my mouth. I tried to get Aunt Radene to take me to the doctor, but she said an earache was no reason to go to the doctor. I told her I might be dying. She said she had a remedy. Do you know what she poured in my ear? Olive oil! Honestly. I’m not a salad.
And I still have the earache.
But worse yet was what I heard Sue Ann and Sally Lynn saying about me.
I came back in from the outhouse, and I was about to go upstairs when I heard Aunt Radene’s voice in the living room. I thought I would go in and tell her that my earache wasn’t any better, but I stopped when I heard Sue Ann say, “And she’s such a baby.”
Then it went like this:
AUNT RADENE: Well, now, that’s still no reason to—
SALLY LYNN: Lordie, Momma, she doesn’t do a stitch of work.
SUE ANN: Have you seen her wash a single dish?
SALLY LYNN: And she doesn’t make up her bed.
SUE ANN: I have to make up her stupid bed.
SALLY LYNN: All she does is lie around and read.
SUE ANN: Or write letters.
SALLY LYNN: I’m just sick of her.
SUE ANN: Me too.
SALLY LYNN: She thinks she’s a queen.
SUE ANN: She sure does.
SALLY LYNN: Miss City Girl, Queen of Easton.
Well, I didn’t hear any more, because I ran outside and up to the barn and climbed up in the hayloft and sat there. Boy, was I mad. I was really mad.
First of all, the dishes: I have offered at least five times to help with the dishes, and they keep saying, “No, you go set awhile.”
Secondly, the bed: They don’t give me a chance to make it up. I get out of bed, get dressed, go downstairs, eat breakfast, and I come back up and it’s already made. I figured they liked to make it.
Thirdly: I am not a baby!!! I’ve only been crying because I am homesick and because they’ve been teasing me and scaring me to death.
Fourthly: Haven’t done a stitch of work!! They never asked me to do anything. I would’ve helped if they had asked.
Fifthly: All I do is write letters and read books! Well, what else is there to do around this place????
Sixthly: I do not act like the Queen of Easton!!!!!
I stayed up in the hayloft a long time. After I got through being mad, I started to think about Carl Ray.
I hereby apologize for complaining about making Carl Ray’s bed, for teasing him, and for calling him stupid, cabbageheaded, witless, beefbrained, boobish, besotted, cockamamie, and anything else I might have called him.
But I’m never going to speak to Sue Ann or Sally Lynn again.
I didn’t speak to Sue Ann or Sally Lynn all afternoon.
Instead, while Aunt Radene was off doing the grocery shopping, and Sue Ann and Sally Lynn were God knows where, I swept the front porch (without anybody asking); I mopped the kitchen floor (without anybody asking); I dusted the entire downstairs (without anybody asking); I cleaned the living room (without anybody asking); I picked some flowers from the hill and put them around the house (without anybody asking); I swept and dusted the bedroom that I share with Sue Ann, Sally Lynn, and Brenda Mae (without anybody asking); and I was just starting on the windows (without anybody asking) when Aunt Radene drove up.
“Why, Mary Lou, what are you doin’?” she asked.
“Nothing. Washing windows.”
She said, “You don’t have to do that. You just set…”
“I don’t want to set!” I said.
“But you’re our guest,” she said.