Amara smiled. "You may need to stand a few stairs above him to get the same perspective. He's put on height and muscle."
"Boys grow," Isana said.
Amara regarded her for a moment, then said, "Sometimes the Academy can change people for the worse. But not Tavi. He's the same person. A good person, Isana. I think you have every right to be proud of him."
Isana felt a flash of gratitude toward Amara. Though she had never shared any such words or emotions before, Isana could feel the woman's sincerity as easily as she could see her smile. Cursor or not, Isana could tell that the words were precisely what they seemed to be-honest praise and reassurance. "Thank you, Countess."
Amara inclined her head in a gesture that matched the sense of respect Isana felt from the younger woman. "Bernard?" Amara said. "Would you mind if I had a few words with the Steadholder?"
"Not at all," Bernard said amiably.
Isana stifled a laugh that threatened to bubble from her mouth.
After a moment, Amara arched an eyebrow, and said, "Privately?"
Bernard blinked and stood up at once. "Oh. Right, of course." He looked back and forth between them suspiciously. "Um. I'll be out at the barn. We should be on the move in an hour. I've got to make sure Frederic-excuse me, Sir Frederic hasn't wandered off and forgotten his head."
"Thank you," Isana said.
Bernard winked at her, touched Amara's hand, and left the room.
Amara shut the door and laid her fingers against it. She closed her eyes for a moment, and then Isana again felt that odd tightness to the room. There was a brief pain in her ears.
"There," Amara said. "I apologize. But I must be sure we are not overheard."
Isana felt her eyebrows rise. "Do you expect spies in my household now?"
"No. No, Steadholder. But I needed to speak with you about something personal."
Isana rose and tilted her head slightly to one side. "Please explain."
Amara nodded. The shadows under her eyes were deeper than they had been before. Isana frowned, studying the young woman. Amara was only a few years out of the Academy herself, though Isana was sure the Cursor had led a more difficult life than most. Amara had aged more quickly than a young woman should, and Isana felt a surge of compassion for her. In all that had happened, she sometimes forgot how very young the Countess was.
"Steadholder," Amara said, "I don't know how to ask this, but simply to ask it." She hesitated.
"Go on," Isana said.
Amara folded her arms and didn't look up. "What have I done to wrong you, Isana?"
The sense of raw pain and despair that rose from the girl closed around Isana like a cloud of glowing embers. She turned away and walked to the far side of the room. It required a significant effort to control her expression, and to keep her thoughts calm. "What do you mean?"
Amara shrugged with one shoulder, and Isana's sense of the young woman became tinged with embarrassment. "I mean that you don't like me. You've never treated me badly. Or said anything. But I also know that I am not welcome in your home."
Isana took a deep breath. "I don't know what you mean, Amara. Of course you're welcome here."
Amara shook her head. "Thank you for trying to convince me. But I've visited you several times over the past two years. And you've never once turned your back on me. You've never sat at the same table as me, or taken a meal with me-you serve everyone else instead. You never meet my eyes when you speak to me. And until today, you've never been alone in a room with me."
Isana felt her own brow furrow at the young woman's words. She began to answer, then remained silent. Was the Cursor right? She raked back through the memories of the past two years. "Furies." She sighed. "Have I really done that?"
Amara nodded. "I thought that… that I must have done something to warrant it. I was hoping that a little time would smooth things over, but it hasn't."
Isana gave her a fleeting smile. "Two years isn't much time when it comes to healing some hurts. It can take longer. A lifetime."
"I never meant to hurt you, Isana. Please believe me. Bernard adores you, and I would never intentionally do you wrong. If I have said or done anything, please tell me."
Isana folded her hands in her lap, frowning down at the floor. "You've never done anything of the sort. It was never you."
Frustration colored Amara's voice. "Then why?"
Isana pressed her lips together hard. "You're a loyal person, Amara. You work for Gaius. You are sworn to him."
"Why should that offend you?"
"It doesn't. But Gaius does."
Amara's lips firmed into a line. "What has he shown you other than generosity and gratitude?"
A stab of hot, bitter hatred shot through Isana, and her words crackled with it. "I was nearly killed today because of his gratitude and generosity. I'm only a country girl, Amara, but I'm not an idiot. Gaius is using me as a weapon to divide his enemies. Bernard's appointment to Count Calderon over the heads of the noble Houses of Riva is a direct reminder to them that Gaius, not Rivus, rules Alera. We are simply tools."
"That isn't fair, Isana," Amara said, but her voice was subdued.
"Fair?" Isana demanded. "Has he been fair? The status and recognition he gave us two years ago was not a reward. He created a small army of enemies for my brother and me, then whisked Tavi off to the Academy under his patronage-where I am certain my nephew has found others who strongly dislike and persecute him."
"Tavi is receiving the finest education in Alera," Amara stated. "Surely you don't begrudge him that. He's healthy and well. What harm has that done to him?"
"I'm sure he is healthy. And well. And learning. It's a marvelously polite way to hold Tavi hostage," Isana replied. The words tasted bitter in her mouth. "Gaius knows how much Tavi wanted to go to the Academy. He knows that it would destroy him to be sent away. Gaius manipulated us. He left us with no alternative but to throw in our lot with him as strongly as possible if we were to survive."
"No," Amara said. "No, I won't believe that of him."
"Of course you won't. You're loyal to him."
"Not mindlessly," Amara said. "Not without reason. I've seen him. I know him. He's a decent man, and you're interpreting his actions in the worst possible light."
"I have reason," Isana said. Some part of her felt shocked at the venom and ice in her voice. "I have reason."
Amara's expression and bearing flickered with concern. Her voice remained gentle. "You hate him."
"Hate is too mild a word."
Amara blinked several times, bewildered. "Why?"
"Because Gaius killed my… younger sister."
Amara shook her head. "No. He isn't that way. He is a strong Lord, but he is no murderer."
"He didn't do it directly," Isana said. "But the fault lies on him."
Amara fretted her lower lip. "You hold him responsible for what happened to her."
"He is responsible. Without him, Tavi might still have a mother. A father."
"I don't understand. What happened to them?"
Isana shrugged one shoulder. "My family was a poor one, and my sister did not wed by her twentieth birthday. She was sent to the Crown Legion camp for a term of domestic service. She met a soldier, fell in love, and bore him a child. Tavi."
Amara nodded slowly. "How did they die?"
"Politics," Isana said. "Gaius ordered the Crown Legion moved to the Calderon Valley. He was making a statement to Riva during a period of turmoil, and patronizing the Senate by placing a Legion in a position to deter a Marat horde from invading while simultaneously giving Lord Rivus a warning that his Legion was at hand."
Amara made a quiet, hissing sound. "The First Battle of Calderon."
"Yes," Isana said quietly. "Tavi's parents were there. Neither survived."