“Do think there are codependent issues here?” Kim asked.
“I just would like it to enter into your thinking,” Alice said. “You know there is a tendency for people who were abused as children to re-create the circumstances of the abuse in their own domestic situations.”
“But you know I wasn’t abused,” Kim said.
“I know you weren’t abused in the general sense of the term,” Alice said. “But you didn’t have a good relationship with your father. Abuse can come in many different forms because of the vast difference in power between the parent and the child.”
“I see what you mean,” Kim said.
Alice leaned forward and put her hands on her knees. She smiled warmly. “It sounds to me like we have some things that we should talk about. Unfortunately our half hour is up. I wish I could give you more time, but on such short notice this is the best I can do. I hope I’ve at least got you thinking about your own needs.”
Kim got to her feet. Glancing at her watch, she was amazed at how quickly the time had gone. She thanked Alice profusely.
“How is your anxiety?” Alice asked. “I could give you a few Xanax if you think you might need it.”
Kim shook her head. “Thanks, but I’m okay,” she said. “Besides, I still have a couple of those you gave me years ago.”
“Call if you’d like to make a real appointment,” Alice said.
Kim assured her that she’d give her more notice in the future and then left. As she walked back to the train station, Kim thought about the short session she’d had. It had seemed she was just getting started when it was over. Yet Alice had given her a lot to think about, and that was precisely why Kim had wanted to see her.
As she rode back to Salem, Kim stared out the window and decided that she had to talk to Edward. She knew it would not be an easy task because such confrontations were extremely difficult for her. Besides, with the pressure Edward was under he was hardly in the mood for such emotionally laden issues like whether they should currently be living together. Yet she knew she had to have a conversation with him before things got worse.
Driving onto the compound, Kim glanced at the lab building and wished she had the assertiveness to go over there directly and demand to talk to Edward immediately. But she knew she couldn’t. In fact, she knew she couldn’t even talk to him even if he showed up at the cottage that afternoon unless he also did something to make her feel he was ready to talk. With a degree of resignation, Kim knew she’d have to wait for Edward.
But Kim did not see Edward Friday evening, nor all day Saturday. All she’d find was scant evidence that he came in sometime after midnight and left prior to sunrise. With the knowledge she had to talk to him hanging over her like a dark cloud, Kim’s anxiety gradually increased.
Kim spent Sunday morning keeping herself busy in the castle’s attic, sorting documents. The mindless task provided a bit of solace and for a few hours took her mind away from her unfulfilling living situation. At quarter to one her stomach told her it had been a long time since her morning coffee and bowl of cold cereal.
Emerging from the musty interior of the castle, Kim paused on the faux drawbridge and let her eyes feast on the fall scene spread out around her. Some of the tree colors were beautiful, but they were hardly of the intensity they would assume in several more weeks. High above in the sky several sea gulls lazily rode the air currents.
Kim’s eyes roamed the periphery of the property and stopped at the point of entry of the road. Just within the shadow of the trees she could see the front of an automobile.
Curious as to why the car was parked there, Kim struck out across the field. As she neared, she approached the car warily from the side, trying to get a glimpse of the driver. She was surprised to see it was Kinnard Monihan.
When Kinnard caught sight of Kim, he leaped from the car and did something Kim could not remember his ever having done. He blushed.
“Sorry,” he said self-consciously. “I don’t want you to think I’m just lurking here like some Peeping Tom. The fact is I was trying to build up my courage to drive all the way in.”
“Why didn’t you?” Kim asked.
“I suppose because I was such an ass the last couple of times we saw each other,” Kinnard said.
“That seems a long time ago,” Kim said.
“I suppose in some ways,” Kinnard said. “Anyway I hope I’m not disturbing you.”
“You’re not disturbing me in the slightest.”
“My rotation here at Salem Hospital is over this coming week,” Kinnard said. “These two months have flown by. I’ll be back working at MGH a week from tomorrow.”
“I’ll be doing the same,” Kim said. She explained that she’d taken the month of September off from work.
“I’ve driven out here to the compound on a few occasions,” Kinnard admitted. “I just never thought it appropriate to stop by and your phone’s unlisted.”
“I’d wondered how your rotation was going every time I drove near the hospital,” Kim said.
“How did the renovations turn out?” Kinnard asked.
“You can decide for yourself,” Kim said. “Provided you’d like to see.”
“I’d like to see very much,” Kinnard said. “Come on, get in. I’ll give you a lift.”
They drove to the cottage and parked. Kim gave Kinnard a tour. He was interested and complimentary.
“What I like is the way you’ve been able to make the house comfortable yet maintain its colonial character,” Kinnard said.
They were upstairs, where Kim was showing Kinnard how they had managed to put in a half-bath without disturbing the historical aspect of the house. Glancing out the window, Kim did a double take. Looking again, she was shocked to see Edward and Buffer walking across the field on their way to the cottage.
Kim was immediately gripped with a sense of panic. She had no idea what Edward’s reaction to Kinnard’s presence would be, especially with Edward’s cantankerous mood of late and especially since she’d not seen him since Monday night.
“I think we’d better go downstairs,” Kim said nervously.
“Is something wrong?” Kinnard asked.
Kim didn’t answer. She was too busy castigating herself for not considering the possibility of Edward’s appearing. She marveled how she managed to get herself into such situations.
“Edward is coming,” Kim finally said to Kinnard as she motioned for him to step into the parlor.
“Is that a problem?” Kinnard asked. He was confused.
Kim tried to smile. “Of course not,” she said. But her voice was not convincing and her stomach was in a knot.
The front door opened and Edward entered. Buffer headed for the kitchen to check for food that might have inadvertently been dropped on the floor.
“Ah, there you are,” Edward said to Kim when he caught sight of her.
“We have company,” Kim said. She had her hands clasped in front of her.
“Oh?” Edward questioned. He stepped into the parlor.
Kim introduced them. Kinnard moved forward and extended his hand, but Edward didn’t move. He was thinking.
“Of course,” Edward said while clicking his fingers. He then reached out and pumped Kinnard’s hand with great enthusiasm. “I remember you. You worked in my lab. You’re the fellow who went on to the MGH for a surgical residency.”
“Good memory,” Kinnard said.
“Hell, I even remember your research topic,” Edward said. He then tersely summarized Kinnard’s year-long project.
“It’s humbling to hear you remember it better than I do,” Kinnard said.
“How about a beer?” Edward asked. “We’ve got Sam Adams on ice.”
Kinnard nervously glanced between Kim and Edward. “Maybe I’d better leave,” he said.
“Nonsense,” Edward said. “Stay if you can. I’m sure Kim could use some company. I have to get back to work. I’ve only come over here to ask her a question.”