‘No,’ she said firmly. ‘Don’t even mention that. If you think for a moment that I could destroy your child, you don’t begin to know me. I told you I love you, but I could easily hate you if you ask me to do that.’
But she couldn’t stay angry as she looked at him, saddened by the confusion in his face. He’d always insisted on being in control, quick-stepping with fate to the edge, but now he’d reached an edge he’d never dreamed of and he was lost. The thought gave her an idea.
‘Fate doesn’t always do what we expect,’ she said, slipping her arms about his neck. ‘It’s had this waiting for you quite a while, and it’s probably been laughing up its sleeve, thinking it’s found the way to defeat you. But we’re not going to let it win.’
He rested his forehead against hers. ‘Doesn’t fate always win?’ he whispered.
‘That depends who you have fighting with you.’ She stepped back, taking his hand and laying it over her stomach. ‘You’re not alone any more. There are two of us backing you up now.’
He stared. ‘Two?’
‘Two people fighting on your side.’ She gave a faint smile at the stunned look on his face, and pointed to her stomach. ‘There is actually someone in there, you know. A person. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, but it’s yours, and it’s as ready to defend you as I am. When you get to know each other, you’ll be the best of friends.’
He was very still, and she sensed him holding his breath as he struggled to come to terms with ideas that had always been alien to him.
‘It won’t be easy,’ she urged, speaking with gentle persistence. ‘It may have your family’s inherited illness, so we’ll find out, and if the news is bad at least you’ll be there to help. You can explain things that nobody else can. The two of you will probably form an exclusive society that shuts me out, but I won’t mind, because you’ll have each other, and that’s all you’ll really need.’
‘No,’ he said softly. ‘Never shutting you out, because we can’t manage without you. But, my love, you don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for.’
‘Yes, I do: a life of worry, always wondering how long the happiness will last.’
‘If you know that-’
‘But the other choice is a life without you, and I choose you. I choose you for me and as a father for our child, because nobody else can be the father you can. Nobody else knows the secrets you do.’
He held her close, where she belonged, where she’d dreamed of being all the long, lonely weeks. They neither kissed nor caressed, but stood still and silent, rediscovering each other’s warmth, coming home. At last he led her into the bedroom and drew her down onto the bed.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said quickly. ‘I won’t try to make love to you.’
‘Darling, it’s all right,’ she said shakily. ‘I’m in the early stages. It’s quite safe.’
‘Safe,’ he whispered. ‘What does “safe” mean? You can never be sure, can you? And we won’t take any risks.’ He gave a sharp, self-critical laugh. ‘Listen to me, talking about not taking risks. But I’m such a selfish beggar; I’ve never had to think about anyone else’s health before. I guess I’ll have to get working on that.’
She kissed him in a passion of tenderness.
‘You’re almost there now,’ she murmured.
‘Almost?’
‘There’s something I want you to do,’ she said, speaking quietly, although her heart was beating hard. ‘We’re going to find out the truth about your condition. I can’t live with the uncertainty.’
‘And if the worst is true?’ he asked slowly.
‘Then we’ll face it. Not just for our sake, but for our child’s too. This is your baby, born into the same heritage, and I want to know what it may face. If I don’t know the truth, I shall worry myself sick, and that isn’t a good thing for the baby. Do this for me, my love.’
In the long silence she sensed his agony and enfolded him protectively, trying to speak of her love without words.
‘Be a little patient,’ he begged at last. ‘Don’t ask me just yet.’
She understood. She was asking him to overturn the rules on which his whole life had been lived, and it was hard. All his major decisions had been taken alone. Now she’d told him that he had two supporters, but he was still struggling to adjust to that idea, or even understand it.
‘Take your time,’ she whispered.
They slept without making love, and when she woke at first light it was no surprise to find him sitting by the window, as he had often done before. She went to join him, sitting quietly. He didn’t turn his head, but his fingers entwined with hers.
‘It’s still waiting there,’ he said, indicating the silent volcano. ‘I guess it finally gave me the rumble I wasn’t prepared for. And, as I always feared, I have no answer. Why don’t you despise me, run a mile, kick me out of your life?’
‘Because without you I’d get bored,’ she said, with a note of their old teasing. ‘And, when our child asks where Daddy is, what do I tell her?’
‘Say you chucked him out with the rest of the rubbish. Or you might recycle me into a sensible man.’
‘Then how would I know it was you?’ she asked with a hint of a chuckle.
‘And what’s this her business? Since when did she become a girl?’
‘I’ve decided it’s going to be a girl. We’re better at being practical.’
He cocked a humorous eyebrow. ‘I need another woman nagging me?’
‘That’s definitely what you need. Hope and I aren’t enough. It’s a task for three.’
Then her smile faded as she saw something on a nearby table and reached out for it. ‘That’s one of the pictures you took of me when I first came here.’
‘We went to the consulate to get you a new passport,’ he recalled.
‘But how do you come to have it? I never did remember to give them to you.’
‘No, and I raided your computer for them. This was the best, so I printed it out to keep.’ He stopped and watched her for a moment, remembering. ‘I’d never loved you as much as I did then. That previous night, I came to the edge of telling you everything.
‘I backed off at the last minute, but when I went through those pictures and saw how you looked at me I knew I had to tell you, because you were the only person I could ever trust with the truth. Suddenly it was all clear, and I knew I could tell you everything.’
‘Oh no,’ she whispered, dropping her head into her hands. ‘And then you found that folder and realised I’d betrayed you. No wonder you were so terribly hurt.’
‘You didn’t betray me. I’ve known that for a long time, but I was in such a state of confusion that I couldn’t wait to be rid of you. You made me think, and I didn’t want to think. It was only after you’d gone that I realised what I’d done-chosen safety and predictability over life. I kept that picture with me to remind myself what I’d lost.’
‘But why didn’t you call me and ask me to come back?’ she asked.
‘Because I thought I had nothing to offer you, and you were better without me.’
‘That will never be true. I want you with me all my life.’
‘If only…’ he said longingly.
‘My love, I know what I’m asking of you is hard, but do it for me. Do it for us.’
Without speaking, he slipped to his knees and laid his face against her, his hand gently touching her stomach. Ferne caressed him, also in silence. Nothing more was needed. He had given his answer.
Hope was in ecstasies as they reached the villa that evening, greeting them both, but especially Ferne, with open arms.
‘Welcome to the family,’ she said. ‘Oh yes, you’re a Rinucci now. You’re going to have a Rinucci baby, and that makes you one of us.’
Ferne couldn’t help smiling at the way she’d been taken over. Then Hope went even further.
‘I’m so looking forward to another grandchild,’ she said blissfully.