‘They’re in Italian. I don’t understand a word,’ she said.
‘Just sign them,’ he told her. ‘If I become unable to manage my own affairs, this will give you complete control.’
She was a little puzzled, since surely as his wife her control would be automatic? But perhaps Italian law was more complicated. She signed briefly, and returned to her preparations.
There was no lavish bridal-gown, just a silk, peach-coloured dress that she already knew he liked. In a dark, formal suit, he looked as handsome as she’d ever seen him. Standing side by side, looking in the mirror together, they made a handsome couple.
Both of them tried not to look at the suitcase he would take with him, which contained his things so that he could go on to the hospital when the wedding was over.
At last the lawyer departed and they were alone, waiting for the taxi.
‘I think it’s here,’ she said, looking out of the window. ‘Let’s go.’
‘Just a moment.’ He detained her.
‘What is it?’
‘Just one more thing I have to know before we go ahead,’ he said quietly. ‘I want to marry you more than anything on earth, but I can’t face the thought of being a burden in your life. Will you give me your word to put me in a home if I become like Uncle Leo?’
‘How can I do that?’ she asked, aghast. ‘It would be a betrayal.’
‘I can’t marry you to become a burden on you. If you don’t give me your word, the wedding’s off.’
‘Dante…’
‘Understand me, I mean it. One way or another, I’ll leave you free.’
‘And your child?’
‘We just signed papers that will give you complete control, whether we’re married or not. So you’ll have everything that’s mine to support you and our child.’
‘Did you think I was talking about money?’ she asked with a touch of anger.
‘No, I know you weren’t, but you have to know that my arrangements will look after you both, even without a wedding.’
She sighed. Even now he was setting her at a little distance.
‘Do I have your word,’ he asked again, ‘that if I become incapable…?’ He shuddered.
‘Hush,’ she said, unable to endure any more.
‘I don’t want people to see me and pity me. I don’t want my child to grow up regarding me with contempt. Do I have your word that if this goes wrong you’ll put me away?’ He took her hand in his. ‘Swear it, or I can’t marry you.’
‘What?’ She stared, appalled at this unsuspected ruthlessness.
‘I’ll call it off right now if you don’t give me your word. I can’t go through with it unless I’m sure. You’ve never really understood what that dread means to me, have you? And I’ve never been able to make you.’
‘I know it means more to you than I do!’ she said wildly.
This should have been their most perfect moment, when they could be happy in their love despite all the problems. But she was saddened at his intransigence.
Perhaps he saw this, because his voice became gentler.
‘Nothing means more to me than you,’ he said. ‘But try to understand, my love; you’ve done so much for me. I beg you to do this one thing more, to give me peace.’
‘All right,’ she said sadly. ‘I swear it.’
‘Promise on everything you hold dear and sacred, on the life of our child, on whatever love you have for me-promise me.’
‘I promise. If it comes to that-’ she paused, and a tremor went through her ‘-I’ll do as you wish.’
‘Thank you.’
The wedding was in the hospital chapel. All the Rinuccis who lived in Naples were there. The women of the family lined up to be the bride’s attendants. The men scrapped for the privilege of waiting on Dante.
Toni gave her away, escorting her down the aisle with pride. Dante watched her approach with a look that took her breath away, and that she knew she would remember all her life. As she reached him and laid her hand in his, the problems seemed to melt away. Even the promise he’d imposed on her could not spoil this moment. She was marrying the man she loved, and who loved her. There was nothing else in the world.
Holding Dante’s hand in hers, she declared, ‘I, Ferne, take you, Dante, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.’
She knew he wasn’t quite ready to understand that. She could only pray for the miracle that would give her the chance to show him.
Then they exchanged rings, the ones that had belonged to his parents, who’d chosen never to be parted. One after the other they recited the ritual wedding-vows, but then the priest looked a silent question, asking if they wished to add anything of their own. Dante nodded, took her hand and spoke in a clear voice for everyone to hear.
‘I give you my life for whatever it’s worth-not much, perhaps, but there’s no part of it that isn’t yours. Do with it whatever you will.’
It took her a moment to fight back the tears, but then she said in a shaking voice, ‘Everything I am belongs to you. Everything I will ever be belongs to you, now and always-whatever life may bring.’
She said the last words with special significance, hoping he would understand, and she felt him grow still for a moment, looking at her, questioning.
Then it was over. It was time to turn and make their way out of the little chapel, followed by the family.
Instead of a wedding feast they all accompanied Dante to his room, where a smiling nurse showed them in. There was a bottle of champagne to stress that this was a party, but before long the laughter and congratulations faded, as they all remembered why Dante was there.
One by one they bid him goodbye, all of them knowing that it might be final. Hope and Toni embraced him heartily, then left them alone.
‘You must rest well,’ the nurse told him. ‘So go to bed now, and drink this.’ She held up a glass. ‘It will help you sleep.’
‘I want to stay with him,’ Ferne said.
‘Of course.’
She helped him undress, and suddenly it was as though a giant machine had taken over. It had started, and nobody could say how it was going to end.
‘I’m glad you stayed with me tonight,’ he said. ‘Because there’s still something I need to say to you. I want to ask your forgiveness.’
‘For what?’
‘For my selfishness. I’ve had a good look at myself, and I don’t like what I see. You were right when you said I shouldn’t have let you get so close without telling you the truth.’
‘We were supposed to keep it light,’ she reminded him.
‘But that wasn’t under our control. You and I could never have met without loving each other. I loved you from the start, but I wouldn’t admit it to myself. Instead I selfishly found excuses, pretending that it wasn’t what it was, and I led you into danger.’
‘Don’t talk of it as danger,’ she interrupted him. ‘You’ve been the best experience of my life, and you always will be, whatever happens. Do you understand that? Whatever happens.’
‘But say you forgive me,’ he said. ‘I need to hear you say it.’ He was already growing sleepy.
‘I’ll forgive you if you want, but there is nothing to forgive. Please-please try to understand that.’
He smiled but didn’t answer. A moment later, his eyes closed. Ferne laid her head down on the pillow beside him, watching him until her own eyes closed.
This was their wedding night.
In the morning the orderlies came to take him to the operating theatre.
‘One moment,’ Dante said frantically.
As she leaned over him, he touched her face.
‘If this should be the last time…’ he whispered.
It hit her like a blow. This might really be the last time she touched him, looked into his eyes.
‘It isn’t the last time,’ she said. ‘Whatever happens, we will always be together.’