Weeks and weeks of pent-up desire burst forth, causing her resolve to falter. She dug her hands into his thick, wavy hair, kissing him as she’d done so many times in her dreams. Then danger signs flashed in her mind, causing her to exert gentle pressure against his chest. “Wait.”
He kept his forehead pressed to hers, allowing his breathing to slow down. He held her there, cupping her neck, his thumbs gently rubbing her jaw. “Sorry. That wasn’t planned . . . or particularly gentle.”
“It’s not that . . . I just . . . I don’t . . .” She fumbled, unsure of her feelings.
Grey reluctantly withdrew his hands from her face, letting them slide down her arms until he grasped her wrists. “I know. You can’t get involved with me because of your family. At least not until things are settled. And the way things look now, chances are you probably won’t want anything to do with me once that’s resolved.” He kissed the back of her hand. “This is why I shouldn’t keep working with you. Look at how I lost control. I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“I’m not upset. I mean, I am upset, but not because you kissed me.” She kept staring at his hands.
Grey released her and rolled his chair back a foot or two. “I think this is what they call an impasse.”
“You know, it’s not just the lawsuit.” Avery sighed rather than kick something or laugh or cry. “There’s Kelsey to consider, and, well, you’re a skier.”
“Kelsey knows I’m not interested in her. And what’s skiing got to do with anything?” His perplexed smile caught her unaware.
“I’ve sworn off them.” She watched his smile fade.
“Why?” He narrowed his eyes. “Because of that idiot, Matt what’s-his-name?”
Oh, great. He had heard the gossip.
“Not just because of him, although he hammered the final nail.” When he kept staring at her, she shrugged and brushed her fingers against the ends of her hair. “I’ve lived here my whole life. I’ve watched two generations of ski pros use women and then leave them behind. It’s hard enough for me to accept the compromises required of relationships, so I’m not too keen on doing so for another skier.”
“Well, I’m not one of those guys, Avery.” Grey’s defiant attitude triggered a need to defend her position.
“Really? You’re thirty-something and single, best buddies with a notorious Casanova, kissing girls like Kelsey in bars and then leaving them hanging.” Shoot. She wished she could retract that petulant last remark.
Grey started twisting the leather bracelet at his wrist. “You don’t know anything about me, or why I’m single.”
She could hear the cooling tone in his voice, all traces of passion and playfulness disappearing. Yet his words didn’t sway her. “That may be, but, after Matt, I’m not eager to take chances . . .” her voice trailed off.
Avery didn’t want to insult him. She simply didn’t want to get her hopes up only to have her life turned upside down again. And everything about Grey seemed destined to break her heart.
“If you think I don’t know something about heartache, you’re wrong. And if you think I can’t commit because I ski, well, that’s just stupid. I know what it is to love someone with your heart and soul. To feel so connected, you think you can’t breathe without them once they’re gone. To face that truth and have to fight your way back to the living.” He pushed the bracelet back and traced the tattoo on his wrist with his finger.
Avery could see it clearly now. A single name.
Juliette.
She glanced back at Grey. His expression had never looked so bleak, nor had his voice sounded as desolate. Appearing lost in his own memories, he uttered, “To believe you’ll never find that kind of love again.”
Avery held her breath, her heart rate reaching its maximum training zone. Grey kept his head bowed, his focus on the tattoo. She was about to reach out and touch him when she heard heavy footsteps approaching.
“Grey, you back here?” Trip’s deep voice called out.
Grey snapped out of his trance, his eyes murky. He cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he said, just as Trip entered the small office.
“Well, hello there, m’ lady.” Trip smiled when he saw her. “What brings you by after hours?”
The glint in his eye might have been charming at another time, but the mood in the room swallowed everything. He apparently sensed his misstep. “Everything okay?”
Grey stood, mindlessly twisting the bracelet. Without really looking at either Trip or Avery, he said, “Sorry. I’ve got to get some air.”
Before anyone uttered another word, he shot out the door.
“What just happened?” Trip cocked his head. “Did you give him bad news about his knee?”
Avery shook her head. “Who’s Juliette?”
Trip whistled and folded his arms in front of his chest. “How’d she come up?”
“That’s not important. What do you know about her?”
Trip sank into Grey’s chair and scrubbed one hand through his glossy, black hair. He scowled, apparently debating with himself, while drumming his fingers on the desk. “Juliette’s his story to tell, not mine.”
Trip’s surprising loyalty made her happy even though it meant she’d have to work harder for the story. At least Grey’s trust in his friend wasn’t misplaced.
“You interrupted us just when he was about to tell me.”
“Sorry.”
“She was the big love of his life?” Avery wanted confirmation of her assumption.
Trip held her gaze and nodded.
“So, why aren’t they together? Why can’t they reconcile?”
“He doesn’t like to talk about it. I’m not comfortable being in the middle of this discussion, Avery. Sorry.” Trip stood and Avery followed suit.
“Wait. Why? Is he embarrassed? Did she cheat on him or something?”
“No. Don’t even suggest something like that unless you want to see him go ballistic.” Trip started to step around her. “I think it’s time for you to go home. Talk to him tomorrow.”
Avery followed him down the hallway and to the front office. “Hold up, Trip. I’m not out to hurt Grey. I’m just trying to understand him. Why isn’t he with Juliette anymore?” She grabbed his arm. “Please, tell me.”
Trip’s expression—normally a mash-up of flirtation and devil-may-care glibness—turned stony. Avery released his arm and moved toward the door, defeated.
Just as she stepped outside, Trip stepped into the doorway. “Tread lightly.”
Avery spun around, hopeful he’d changed his mind about talking. Nope. Trip shook his head to indicate he’d say no more. He locked the door and disappeared up the interior stairwell.
She stood on the sidewalk, unable to move. A light spring breeze rustled the branches of trees budding with new leaves. Yet the cool evening air offered no relief from the pressure building in her lungs.
Was Grey upstairs, or had he gone off to walk and think? She turned and looked around. The sky had grown dark, blanketing the sidewalks in shadows, so she couldn’t see beyond the block.
Dragging herself to her car, she replayed everything from the discussion about Richard Donner, to their heated kiss, and finally the agony in Grey’s eyes when reminiscing about his beloved Juliette.
She shouldn’t have stormed his office demanding answers, and she sure shouldn’t have presumed to accuse him of being some kind of playboy.
Her eyes stung as she put the car in reverse. When she pictured Grey twisting that bracelet around and around, her throat ached.
The devotion in his voice when he spoke of Juliette had forced Avery to acknowledge an uncomfortable truth. At thirty, she’d still never experienced that level of commitment—of love—not even with Matt, with whom she’d been considering a future.
Perhaps she was incapable of loving that deeply. Maybe Kelsey had a point about her not understanding squat about romance. Had Matt sensed these deficits? Was that why he strayed? All these years she’d blamed men for the fact she couldn’t make a relationship work without losing herself. Now she had to consider an alternative.