All he wanted to do was get away from the furnace of Atlanta, to go back home and be alone and think. To see if he could heal some of the wounds and begin again.
It wasn't my fault. Not really. It was Puppetman and he's dead. That should be punishment enough.
Gregg didn't know exactly what he was going to say to Ellen. She, at least, had tried to comfort him yesterday. She at least had said that it was okay, that it didn't matter, that it would all be all right again. But behind the words, he knew she wanted to know why, and he didn't know how to explain it. Part of him ached to simply let the horrible, awful truth spill out and beg forgiveness. Ellen cared for him. He knew that from Puppetman; he had seen her love given to him even without the power's help.
Yes, he'd give her a part of the truth at least. He'd tell her that yes, he was an ace, that he'd abused his abilities to enhance his own power, that he'd manipulated people. Yes, even her.
But not all of it. Some of it couldn't be said. Not the death and the pain and the violence. Not what he'd done to her and their own child.
Not that, because then there'd be no hope at all. Ellen was the one thing Gregg could salvage from this wreckage. Ellen was the only person who would help him find a path.
Gregg needed her. He knew just how desperate that need was from the churning in his stomach and the cold fear in his gut.
"Senator? We're here."
They were at the side entrance of the hospital. The Secret Service riding in back with him pushed open the doors. Heat and sunshine hit Gregg like a fist as he got out, blinking behind his sunglasses. He leaned back into the cool, leather-scented interior to speak to the chauffeur. "We'll be back in a few minutes," he told him. "We're just going to get Ellen and her things-"
"Senator," one of the bodyguards outside said. "Isn't that her?"
Gregg straightened to see Ellen being wheeled out of the hospital behind a clot of reporters, her own Secret Service personnel keeping back the flurry of videocams and cameras. Gregg frowned, puzzled.
The heat rippling up from the blacktop went cold: behind Ellen, he could see Sara. She was standing inside, her face pressed against the glass doors.
"No," Gregg whispered. He half ran to Ellen, the Secret Service men pushing a path through the reporters around her. He saw her bag, sitting alongside the wheelchair.
She stood as he approached. Gregg smiled for the cameras and tried to ignore the specter of Sara just a few feet away. "Darling," he said to her. "Did Amy call-?"
Ellen looked into his face and his voice trailed off. Her examination of him was long and intense. Then she looked away. Her mouth was a straight, tight line, her dark eves were stern and solemn, and a bitter loathing lurked behind them. "I don't know if it's all true, what Sara said," Ellen husked out. "I don't know, but I can see something in you, Gregg. I only wish I'd seen it years ago." She was crying now, oblivious or uncaring of the reporters circled around them. "Damn you, Gregg. Damn you forever for what you did."
Her hand lashed out unexpectedly. The slap jerked Gregg's head around and brought tears of pain to his own eyes. He fingered the crimson flush on his cheek, stunned.
He could hear the cameras and the excited buzz of the reporters. "Ellen, please…" he began, but she wasn't listening.
"I need time, Gregg. I need to be away from, you." She took her bag and strode past him toward a waiting car. Behind the glass doors, Sara snagged Gregg's eyes as his hand dropped from his burning face.
Bastard, she mouthed silently, and turned away. "Ellen!" Gregg wheeled around, the image of Sara's accusation staving with him. "Ellen!"
She wouldn't look back. The driver placed her bag in the trunk. Her guards held the door open for her.
With Puppetman, Gregg could have made her stop. He could have had her run back into his arms in a glorious, happy reconciliation.
With Puppetman, he could have written a happy ending. Ellen got into the car and slumped back against the seat. They drove away.
12:00 NOON
The maitre d' was waiting in vain for his C-note. The hotel had emptied out, and the Bello Mondo was no longer crowded.
Jack had brought Tachyon to lunch, but he couldn't make him eat. Half a sole filet was abandoned on the plate. Jack finished off his New York cut.
"Eat, eat, my child. As my mom used to say in German."
"I'm not hungry."
"Build up your strength."
Tach glared at him. "Of the two of us," he said, "Which one is the doctor?"
"Which one of us is the patient?"
Tachyon's answer was stony silence. Jack took a drinkbourbon at last. Tachyon's violet eyes softened. "I'm sorry, Jack. My anxiety has rubbed away my manners."
"That's okay."
"I owe you my thanks. For this. For trying to find Blaise."
"I only wish I could find him." Jack put his elbows on the table and sighed. "I'd like something good to come out of everything we've been through."
"There might be something."
"A George Bush presidency, that's for sure." Jack stared at his plate. "That's the last political activity you're going to see from me. Every time I try to change the world, everything goes into the crapper."
Tachyon shook his head. "I have no thoughts to comfort you, Jack."
"All I did was screw up. I even died for god's sake. And the one thing I did right, I did for the wrong man." He took another drink. "I guess I'm about as confused as I've ever been. Hell " Another drink. "At least I'm rich. In this world, you can always fall back on money."
Jack leaned back against the cushion. "Maybe I'll write my memoirs. Get it all down. Then I'll maybe know what it means, if anything."
Memoirs, he thought. God, was he already that old? When Jetboy died, he'd been twenty-two and looking younger. He hadn't aged since then.
At least he'd seen a few things. Been a movie star. Changed the world, back before the roof fell in. Saved a lot of lives in Korea, and that was after he'd become a world-class fuckup. He'd even seen The Jolson Story.
As good a place as any, he reflected, to start his memoirs. When Jetboy died, I was watching The Jolson Story.
No one said anything for a long while. Jack realized that Tachyon had drowsed off. He paid the tab, then pushed the wheelchair out of the restaurant and headed for the elevators. On the way Jack saw the man who'd been selling gliders in the mall, table folded and his merchandise in a pair of paper sacks, talking to a friend. Jack parked the chair, then bought the entire line. When he came back, carrying his gliders, he saw that Tachyon was awake. He held up the gliders. "For Blaise," he said. "When we find him."
"Bless you, Jack."
For the first time in a week, Jack got an elevator right away. He pressed Tachyon's floor and the surge of vertigo as the glass elevator took off almost took him off his feet. To keep his mind off heights, he began assembling a glider.
A foam Earl Sanderson looked sternly at him from behind his flying goggles. Jack wondered dimly if, even after all these years, he had anything at all to say to Earl.
Besides an apology, of course. Better start with the basics. The elevator lurched, and Jack's stomach lurched with it. The doors opened, and with a shock Jack saw David Harstein step into the elevator.
Tachyon was rolling a guilty white-rimmed eye at him. Jack had a feeling his own face held the same expression of stupid, overdone innocence.
"You know," Tachyon said. "You know?" Jack replied.
"Hey, we all know," corrected David with hearty bonhomie.
The glass box lurched for the sky. Jack's stomach lurched with it. He could feel the sweat popping out on his forehead. He searched for something to say.
The elevator slammed to a stop again. The door opened and Fleur van Renssaeler stepped aboard, looking over her shoulder and waving goodbye to a friend. The door closed, and Fleur turned.
Everyone stopped breathing for a long moment. The elevator staggered upward. Suddenly Tachyon lashed out with his right arm, striking the STOP button with his bandaged stump.