“We love you, Lance!” Lucy and I hollered.
“You owe me money!” Merlyn shouted.
“Ah, forget him, Lance, give it to me!” Alexander bellowed.
And then, as people must, we hugged and kissed Merlyn and Penny goodbye and we went our separate ways home. We promised we’d get together soon.
The following autumn we got word from Merlyn’s daughter. He’d had a heart attack and was in intensive care. He was not faring for the better and Penny was not dealing well with the situation.
“Please,” Oliver asked her, “Let us know if there is anything that any of us can do, either for him or for your mother.”
She promised that she would call us again with any news.
We never heard another thing. Oliver and Alexander tried to phone his mobile several times, but they got Merlyn’s voice mail until the answering message said simply that the mailbox was full. No one ever answered his home phone. Finally, Alex rang the mobile again and it was disconnected, as was the home phone when he tried that one last time. After that, the twins drove over to England and took the ferry over to France. When they got to his town, Merlyn’s home was vacant. There was no place of employment to check as Merlyn was self-employed and operated his business from his house, using his mobile as his contact number. We could never track down an obituary and we did not know his daughter’s married name to look her up. Merlyn’s three older sisters lived in France, but we had no idea of where or of what their married names were. Penny seemed to just disappear off the planet without a trace.
Losing Merlyn like that was worse for the twins than when Lance left them. They were forced to wait, hoping for some information on what had happened to their other brother. Eventually, they gave up and accepted that he had died. It was the only explanation that made sense as to why they never heard from him again. Had he lived, there was no way that Merlyn Pierce would ever have abandoned them. It defied his character.
We thought and spoke of him often. Oliver and Alexander would go to the church and light a prayer candle for him once a week. It was never the same knowing we never had Merlyn or Lance to laugh with ever again.
“I just would have liked to have known what happened,” Oliver said softly months later as we sat with Alex and Lucy in the garden, “We grew up together. I think it’s very rude-like that no one ever gave us the chance to say goodbye to him.”
I put my arm around him and said nothing, but he knew I agreed.
Alex nodded. “We loved him. He was our family, too. It’s not fair.”
“He loved you two as well,” Lucy rubbed her husband’s shoulder, “He’d be right brassed off if he knew no one called you and let you know.”
“I know he would be. We just wish we knew what happened to him. I mean, I know he’s gone. He has to be, unless he’s some vegetable in hospital somewhere. Even then, he’s gone.”
“And then again,” Oliver sighed, “I don’t suppose it would be any comfort, really, to find out either way. It would only be a hint of closure.”
I thought about that for a moment. “Closure would be nice, though, wouldn’t it? We’ve cried and worried and been sick and sad about him. I think we all need to find a way to say goodbye. I mean, at least I do.”
Oliver stood straight up from the ground and walked into the cabin so quickly no one had time to ask him what he was up to. A few minutes later he came out with a hat in his hand.
“You have Merlyn’s hat?” Alexander recognized the beret, “How in the world did you wind up with that in your possession?”
“Remember when the three of us sat in the car after your speech at Lance’s funeral? He left it. I never saw him again to return it,” Oliver looked at it fondly. “I was supposed to send it by post, but I put it up and forgot.”
“Let’s bury it!” Alex was on his feet. “Right here. Right now. Let’s have our own fucking funeral!”
“Yes, let’s!” Oliver grinned. “Screw them for not inviting us to theirs! Who needs them? We’ll do them one better! We’ll give him a send-off!”
We took turns digging a hole at the edge of the garden not far from where we had laid Duncan to rest. Each of us held the hat and said something as a tribute to Merlyn.
“Merlyn was…oh, God…so many things,” Ollie laughed, “He was a good man. A loyal friend. He was a laugh when you needed one. He could be such a dumb shit, but right when you required someone to cheat off of, he knew every answer on the test.”
“That’s because he was cheating off of Sandra Ashby,” Alexander said knowingly, “She always let him. Or he’d nick Silvia’s notes. But he was clever about flashing hand signals, yeah?”
“He’d tap his ear for the question number, then one finger for A, two fingers for B…”
“You boys were lucky you weren’t expelled!” I told them.
They both looked at me like I was mad.
“What I remember most is his laugh,” Lucy said through tears, “Remember how when you’d get him going he’d make no sound at all?”
“Or he’d sit there slapping his knees hissing like a snake,” I added. “Remember how he’d always blame his farts on someone else? He took no responsibility ever in all the years I knew him!”
Alexander smiled, “God, Merlyn! Yeah, he farted a lot and it was always someone else according to him. He was always good for a laugh. Where to begin with what I remember about him? He was a wonderful singer. What a clown!”
“He was a right decent kid,” Oliver said seriously, “And a good man. That’s what I remember most. His goodness and his decency.”
“I can’t talk about what I remember most about Merlyn,” Alexander sniggered. “I promised him I never would.”
Oliver laughed out loud, “Oh, right! Yeah, I promised him, too!”
“I don’t think I want to know,” I said.
“No, believe us, you don’t!” The twins spoke at the same time and laughed even harder.
Oliver knelt and laid the hat into the hole we’d dug in the earth. He stood and we were all silent, staring at it.
“I can’t believe he’s gone,” I whispered.
“Should we sing the Bennington song?” Lucy asked after a moment.
“No,” Alex looked thoughtful, “But I do think we should sing. Merlyn loved to sing.”
“No one could do Cats quite like Merlyn.” I said.
“Real, live cats couldn’t do Cats like Merlyn,” Oliver muttered, then added, “Real, live cats on fire couldn’t do Cats quite like Merlyn.”
“The hair on the back on my neck is still standing,” Alex admitted.
“My ears still ache,” Lucy sniffed, but she grinned. “Maybe we should sing Tom Jones?”
“Nah, Doesn’t seem right.” Alexander mumbled.
“What was his favourite song? His all-time favourite?”
“Moving forward using all my breath,” Oliver began to sing ‘I Melt With You’, “Making love to you was never second best…”
Alex joined him, “I saw the world thrashing all around your face, never knowing it was always mesh and lace…”
“I’ll stop the world and melt with you, Merlyn Pierce!” I joined them in the chorus. “You see the difference and it’s getting better all the time!”
“There’s nothing you and I won’t do, Merlyn Pierce!” Lucy joined our voices. “I’ll stop the world and melt with you!”
And then we were all singing the famous Modern English song loudly, if slightly off key.
“Dream of better lives the kind that never hate, dropped in a state of imaginary grace,” We joined hands, “Making a pilgrimage to save this human race, what I’m comprehending is a race that’s long gone bye…I’ll stop the world and melt with you, Merlyn Pierce! You see the difference and it’s getting better all the time! There’s nothing you and I won’t do, Merlyn Pierce! I’ll stop the world and melt with you!”
We did the “mmmm mmmm mmmms” as we covered the hat with earth. Alexander patted it flat when the hole was filled.
“I’ll stop the world and melt with you, Merlyn Pierce! You see the difference and it’s getting better all the time! There’s nothing you and I won’t do, Merlyn Pierce! I’ll stop the world and melt with you!”