“Eight months,” She answered quietly.
“Do you love him?”
Melissa snapped her head toward me, “Yes!” She didn’t say it like it was a reflex. She said it more like she was insulted that I had asked her. I was impressed with her sincerity.
Neither of us said anything else until I drove up the path to the cabin. Duncan had come out of the house through the dog door and came bounding down the hill to greet me, running in circles beside the car. “This is it,” I told Melissa, grabbing my books from the back seat, “It’s not much, but it’s home to us!”
“Alexander told me about this place,” Melissa said as she got out of the car and closed the door. Duncan ran to her and sniffed her shoes. He growled softly, “He thinks this is the best place on earth.”
“I agree.” I paused, sizing her up. I had no idea what she was getting at, but that feeling of mistrust was still boiling in my gut, “Melissa, what do you want to know about Alexander that you can’t ask him yourself?”
Her lids fluttered. “I just,” She glanced down at the dog and then back at me, pulling her jumper tighter around her. Her mouth went rigid. “I want to know more.”
I wished Oliver was home. He was so much better than I was at knowing the right things to say and when to say them. He could read people as if he were inside their head listening to their thoughts, “Come in. I’ll make us some coffee.”
I took Melissa into the house. “You have a beautiful home," She told me as she sat on the sofa while I made coffee in the front room. Melissa could be so sincere at times. It was truly an endearing quality and it set me back from time to time from being convinced that she was pure evil. The fire cracked inside of the stove, giving off warmth that took the chill right out of the room. I watched her look around as if she were lost. She had an expression of deep wanting in her big blue eyes. There was something about her that resonated sadness. A deep, endless sadness that I recognised and knew I'd felt before myself. It was loneliness. Melissa was alone.
Part of me felt sorry for her and wanted to be her friend, but every time I thought of reaching out that sickening crunch would go through my stomach and I pulled back. That feeling had never failed me when there was something wrong. I had learned to trust it.
“Thanks. We’ve worked hard on it. I don’t have decaffeinated coffee, sorry,” I told her, handing her a mug, “But a little caffeine won’t hurt you in your condition.”
“No, a cup or two is OK.” She smiled and took sugar from our coffee table, “Thank you.”
“No worries," I sat in Oliver’s chair. Duncan jumped up on to my lap and sat looking curiously at Melissa, “So,” I began the conversation, “What do you want to know about Xan?”
Her eyes were huge. “Everything! Tell me about when he was a kid!”
“Well, I’ve known him since we were fifteen,” I began to tell her everything I knew or could remember. I told her stories about what went on at Bennington, minus his womanising, about how he had become so interested in architecture while helping us build on to the cabin, and about him and Oliver and how close they were. “Alexander is my best friend. He’s a bit on the crusty side, but he’s the only brother I’ve ever had and beside my husband, I think he is the most wonderful man alive. You’re very lucky to have him.”
“I know. He’s great.” She had that wanting look again.
“Are you troubled about something, Melissa? Can I help you?”
“It’s just I feel weird,” She pulled her long hair back with one hand, “I know I know you and everything,” I almost laughed out loud remembering Oliver’s imitation of her in the car, but I maintained myself, “And here I am at your house asking you to tell me all about the man I’m married to like I don’t know him at all or something!” She shook her head. “It’s weird.”
“You love him right?”
“Yes!” She set her cup down, “I’m so in love with him! He’s smart and he’s funny and,” She put her hands in the air, “He’s absolutely everything I ever imagined I’d want in a husband!”
“I believe you!” I said, but I wondered now if she was being sincere or trying to convince me, “If you love him that should be enough to put it right in the end. Whatever it is.”
She seemed to relax a bit, “It’s not Alexander that’s the problem. It’s all just been so fast. Like, he’s got those dark eyes that look right through you, but in a good way. It’s hard to know what he’s thinking, though.”
“Actually, Alex is very easy to read. When he’s affectionate and funny, he’s in a good mood. When he’s stormy and brooding, he’s set off about something. If it’s you, he’ll let you know, otherwise just let him be set off. He’ll cool down. And when he’s quiet, he’s feeling snowed under and he’s looking for a cave to go hide in where he can be by himself and let the feeling pass him by. Alexander is really quite simple. All you need to know is when to love him and when to leave him alone.”
Melissa either wasn’t listening or had missed the point, “How am I supposed to know that if he doesn’t tell me? He’s so intense all the time and then he goes off with Oliver!”
“They do everything together, Melissa. You can’t get jealous. There’s no competing with Oliver in Alexander’s mind, just like I can’t compete with Alex in Oliver’s. Those two are twin souls as well as twin brothers. They‘re tight as a dog with two tails.”
“I’m not jealous of Oliver!” Despite what she said, she seemed very threatened, “It’s just that I don’t like being alone! I can’t handle it! I’m used to having lots of people all around me all the time! Sometimes, though,” She was whining now, “I just want Alex and nobody else, but he’s always busy!”
“He’s trying to build a career,” She was really annoying me. I was not sure at all of what she was playing at. She just seemed jealous and needy to me. Not at all the kind of woman Alexander required. “I promise all he’s doing he’s doing for you. Have you told him you feel like this?”
“No, he should know he can’t just leave me alone!”
“He’s a man, Melissa. You’re lucky he can read a book. He certainly can’t read your mind.” I paused. I really didn’t like her, but I wanted to help her for Alex’s sake. “You know, Alex has always needed a lot of space. He gets claustrophobic when he’s crowded and he goes off alone. You have to trust that he’ll come back. He will.”
“Well, do you blame me for worrying? He’s my husband! I don’t know where he goes or what he does! You said yourself lots of girls have tried to get him,” Her voice was rising, “How do I know they’re not still trying? He’s so handsome! We run into women all the time and he knows every one of them by their name!”
“It’s a small area,” I mumbled.
“And some man made a comment about me nailing Alexander down! He said he never thought he’d see him married, he thought that someone would kill him over their wife or girlfriend first! What am I supposed to think?”
I hesitated on responding to that one, “Alex was…” How was I going to put it? “Not quick to settle on any woman for a while. He…” Oh, I wished Oliver was there! “Dated quite a lot,” I finished uncertainly.
“I bet he did! You’re married to his twin! You know how sexy he is!”
“They’re beautiful boys,” I agreed, “Inside and out. Alexander has his faults, Melissa, but he’s loyal to those he loves. He knows a lot of people, but, really, he keeps a small circle…”
She wasn’t listening to a thing I was saying, “Well, why wouldn’t they be trying? Oh my God! All my girlfriends at home wanted him! The way he talks! Well, maybe you’re used to that accent, but…Oh, my God!”
“We’re in Wales,” I was thinking that she was one of the stupidest people I had ever met, “He doesn’t have an accent here.”
She just kept talking. “When I met him, I fell in love with him like immediately. I was over the moon. I couldn’t believe a guy like that would choose me! I’d never been so excited about anything in my life. It was so perfect, Silvia! He was thoughtful and romantic and he listened to me when I talked…”