What if I missed something?
I’d done my best to clean up the place and get rid of every trace of Tony, but I suddenly wasn’t at all sure that I hadn’t overlooked something.
A gob of brain on the front stoop…
I should’ve kept my mouth shut, let Elroy drop me off at the curb, told him thanks and goodbye—not invite him in!
Better yet, I never should’ve gotten into his car in the first place.
Thanks for the offer, Elroy, but I’m not allowed to ride with strangers—and I don’t know anyone stranger than you.
“This is an absolutely lovely house,” he said, and stopped his car. “I can’t wait to feast my eyes on the interior.”
“It’s pretty nice,” I admitted.
Gosh, Elroy, you know what? I’m not feeling so well all of a sudden.
It wouldn’t be a lie.
Would you mind terribly if we didn’t do this tonight? Why don’t I give you a rain check? Better yet, why don’t you give me your phone number, and I’ll call you?
Very cute.
Only two problems with it. First, I would look like a creep. Second, I didn’t really want to get rid of him.
I did a fine job of cleaning up. He won’t find anything.
And if he does?
“Are you having second thoughts?” he asked.
“No. Are you kidding? This’ll be great.” With that, I opened the car door.
“Wait,” Elroy said, opening his door. “I’ll come around to your side and give you a hand.”
“No, that’s…”
He leaped out.
Clutching the backpack against my chest, I burst from the car. I made it to my feet about two seconds before Elroy arrived.
“Here,” he said. “Allow me to take that.”
“I’m fine.”
He reached for my pack, anyway.
“No!” I snapped, and whirled around to put my back in the way. “I’m perfectly capable of carrying it myself.”
“Whoa! Jeezle-peezle! Okay! Sorry.”
“That’s all right,” I said, and turned around to face him.
“What do you have in there, the Crown Jewels?”
Terrific. Now I’ve made him curious.
Grinning, I said, “Curiosity killed the Elroy.”
He laughed. “You are such a stitch, Alice. You haven’t changed a single whit.”
“I’ve changed my underwear once or twice.”
His face went crimson.
“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
“Of course you meant to embarrass me. It’s part of your charm.”
“Really?”
“Such a naughty girl.”
“That’s me,” I said, and stepped around him. “Let’s go this way.”
He stayed by my side as I walked down the driveway. When we came to the rear corner of the house, I quickly scanned the pool area, the back yard and the edge of the forest. I saw no one. Everything looked fine.
“Why don’t you make yourself comfortable over by the pool?” I suggested. “I need to trot upstairs and take care of a few things, then I’ll be right down and make us some drinks.”
“Fine and dandy,” he said.
But as I headed for the garage, he kept walking beside me.
“Is this your garage?” he asked.
“It’s where I live. I just rent the upstairs.”
“I’d be curious to see what it looks like.”
I was beginning to remember why I’d formed such a strong dislike for Elroy.
“Maybe some other time,” I told him.
“I’ll stay out of your way.”
“Why don’t you just wait over there by the pool?”
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to carry your pack up the stairs for you? You could go up first and unlock the door.”
“No, that’s fine. I can take care of it.”
“I’d be more than happy to help.”
“I’ll be down in a few minutes,” I said, hurrying forward.
This time, he stayed put.
I started trotting up the wooden stairway.
With the pack clutched against my chest, I couldn’t see the steps in front of my feet.
So, of course, I fell.
43
NO PLACE LIKE HOME
Rammed myself down on my pack.
It contained my purse and the grocery sack with an open bag of pretzels, four lengths of rope, two denim legs, two sheets and a pillow case, my autographed copy of Deep Dead Eyes, and most of my five thousand dollars in small bills. None of which did much to soften my impact with the stairs.
I slammed down hard on top of the pack, mashing my breasts, pounding my ribcage and belly, knocking my wind out.
From the sound of things, I instantly pulverized the pretzels.
From the feel of things, a corner of Murphy’s novel tried to punch its way through the gouge in my stomach.
I let out a cry of pain.
A split second after impact, I began skidding down the stairs feet first, knees bumping, thighs scraping, arms being pummeled as they hugged the pack.
The first thing I heard from Elroy was a gasp of, “Oh, dear me!” Then I heard him charging up the stairs below me.
Suddenly, he grabbed the backs of my legs, clamping down hard on them and stopping me.
“I’ve got you,” he gasped. “Don’t worry.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you all right?”
“Fine. I’m fine.”
“Just don’t move.”
I had little intention of moving—at least until I could breathe again and the pain subsided. Even after that, I wouldn’t be able to move until he let go of my legs. He had a firm grip. And his hands were way up there, almost high enough to touch my butt.
“Don’t get fresh,” I told him.
“Ha ha, very funny.”
“I guess I should’ve…let you carry the pack.”
“I’m not one to rub it in.”
Oh, sure you are.
“But I did rather expect something of this sort,” he added.
I should’ve expected it. I’d had so many falls lately, I was starting to feel like a river.
With Elroy still holding me, I pulled my arms out from under the pack. They seemed to work okay. I placed both hands on a stair to brace myself, then said, “Why don’t you sort of ease off my legs, and I’ll try to get up?”
“Be careful,” he warned.
“Get ready to grab me again, just in case.”
When he let go, I pushed at the stair, raising myself off the pack. But suddenly I started to slip.
I gasped.
Elroy grabbed me by the hips.
But I only slipped an inch or two before my knees settled onto a lower stair, stopping me.
“There,” I said.
“Okay?”
“I’ll be fine now. But I can’t get up till you’re out of the way.”
“Okay.”
A true gentleman, he let go of my hips without giving me so much as a squeeze or a pat, and descended the stairs. I got to my feet. With a hand on the railing, I turned halfway around and smiled down at him. “Thanks for catching me,” I said.
“Glad to be of service, ma’am.”
“See you in a while.”
“Are you sure you won’t be needing me again?”
“I’ll be all right. I’m not due for another fall until about sixthirty or seven.”
He laughed. “You fall a lot, do you?”
“Lately. I need to start being more careful.” With that, I turned away, climbed up to my pack, bent over it, and lifted it by the straps. It came swinging back and bumped gently against my thighs.