‘What does matter is this. I have a piece of wonderful news for you. Some time ago, we are not sure when, Cara had a baby. You have a grandchild, Gregory, Cara’s child.’
‘Are you sure?’ he asked, in a whisper.
‘No,’ I said. ‘I mean, we’re sure she had the child, but we don’t know that it survived and we have no idea at all where it is, but…’ I stopped as a new idea suddenly emerged, like a whale from the breakers, in front of me.
‘It’s worth a try,’ said Alec.
‘A try?’ said Gregory, rounding on him. ‘It’s worth more than a try. Cara’s child? The ends of the earth, Alec, the ends of the earth. You’ll understand that one day. Now,’ he said, turning back to me, ‘where do I start? What do you know?’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘I know who the father is, so you can start there. If the child survived he may well be paying for its upbringing somewhere, or if it’s been given away he might at least know who it was…’
Gregory Duffy’s spurt of energy had faded again and he waved me and my bright suggestions into silence, looking down once more at the grave.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he said softly.
Alec and I made our slow way back to the gate and sat on a bench watching him.
‘You know who the father is?’ said Alec as soon as we were out of Gregory’s hearing. ‘When did you find out?’
‘It just came to me,’ I said. We sat in silence for a moment.
‘Well?’ said Alec at last. ‘Who is it?’
‘Oh, come on,’ I said, almost laughing. ‘It’s obvious. Think about it for half a minute and you’ll see.’ Alec frowned at me and then he opened his eyes wide and groaned.
‘Do you think Gregory will find it?’ he said.
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I think he will. If it had been Lena who arranged it all, the information might have died with her. But as it is, I think he will.’
‘But why have you changed your mind about it being Lena?’ said Alec. ‘I can’t keep up.’
‘Because she can’t have known,’ I said. ‘The baby was the thing she found out about that last night at the cottage, remember.’
‘Of course,’ said Alec, then he frowned again. ‘Only… if that’s true then what was it that Lena knew about Cara? What was it she was holding over her?’
‘I don’t know,’ I admitted. ‘But we can’t have it both ways. She can’t have known all along and suddenly found out.’ Alec conceded this with a sigh, then he nodded towards Mr Duffy.
‘Do you really think it’s a good idea?’ he said. ‘Gregory looking for this baby? I hate to think of more trouble coming to him. I don’t think he could bear it.’
‘I shouldn’t worry about that,’ I said. ‘The question of whether or not it’s a good idea doesn’t enter into it. He has no choice. He’s seen only too clearly what can go wrong with secrets, how useless it is to keep the surface smooth when things are all wrong underneath. He won’t let Cara’s baby grow up as Cara did, out of place.’
‘But how did you know he wouldn’t be angry?’ said Alec. ‘I can imagine some fathers spitting on their daughters’ graves if they suddenly heard what you just told him. I mean, look what Lena did when she found out.’
I nodded slowly.
‘But Cara wasn’t Lena’s child,’ I said. ‘You heard Gregory: it doesn’t matter what your own child does, you would do anything for her, forgive her anything.’
‘What’s still puzzling me,’ said Alec, ‘is that for someone who was supposed to have a great hole where her morals should have been, Lena certainly showed enough outrage when she found out about Cara’s baby.’
‘That was the whole point,’ I said. ‘She suddenly found out that this girl into whose lap everything was to pour, was just the same as she was and while she had been punished, Cara was to be rewarded.’
‘Yes, but Lena wasn’t punished, was she?’ said Alec. ‘She had her houses and her diamonds and her respectability. So long as she kept quiet. It was Clemence who was punished.’
I nodded but said nothing. Alec went on.
‘It was poor Clemence who suddenly found out that the “golden girl” had done the very thing that had brought such misfortune on her head. Clemence’s head, I mean. Anyway,’ he went on, ‘even if Gregory had been as angry as Lena was, it might have had the same effect – to break the spell and stop him from feeling he couldn’t go on. Is that what you thought?’
‘Such depths of cynicism, Alec,’ I said. ‘Why won’t you hear what you’re being told? He could forgive Cara anything, would go to the ends of the earth for her no matter what she had done, loved her more than life itself.’
‘I suppose so. Like Lena loved her diamonds.’
‘She loved her daughter too,’ I said, but he did not hear me. He was standing to meet Gregory who had turned at last away from the grave and was walking towards us.
‘That’s the one thing they had in common,’ I said. ‘They both loved their little girls.’ I saw Lena’s face again as it had been in the ballroom – defiant, triumphant, laughing at me, yet still trying to hide the fear in her eyes. What had she to fear by then? What was she still hiding? ‘I killed her,’ she had said, so dramatically, heroically. But of course she had killed her; that was never in question. ‘It was me,’ she had said. Of course it was. ‘And even if I hang it will still be worth it,’ she had said. But worth what? What were the diamonds if she hanged? Nothing. And what else was there?
I watched Gregory walk away from his daughter’s grave, and knew that he would gladly have taken her place. I thought of Lena in her grave, and of Clemence halfway to Canada, and I remembered Lena’s face as she spoke those last words, just to me.
‘You stupid woman,’ she had said.
Finally, the last piece fell into place. No, I thought, grasping my cane and preparing to stand. No, Lena, not so stupid after all.
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank Teresa Chris, Krystyna Green, Ken Leeder, Peter McPherson and Imogen Olsen for all the work they have done to turn a story into a book. My friends and family have been cheerleaders in all but the pom-poms and I salute them. Special thanks must go to Cathy Gilligan for friendship, wisdom and inspiration. Finally, I am delighted to have this chance to thank Neil McRoberts for his love and support and his unflinching faith in me.
Catriona McPherson
CATRIONA McPHERSON was born near Edinburgh in 1965 and educated at Edinburgh University. Formerly a linguistics lecturer, now a full-time writer, she is married to a scientist and lives on a farm in a beautiful valley in Galloway. Find out more about Catriona and the series on dandygilver.co.uk.
