He looked up again and saw that Jas was walking past, heading in the direction of the kitchen. He stopped and looked at what they were doing—the digging and the frame building—then shook his head and walked on.
“You’re not going to help then?” Jackson shouted after him.
“Nope,” he replied, stopping again.
“But you’ll be happy to use the water if we get this working.”
“You won’t get water out of there.”
“We might.”
“Come on, Jackson,” he said, “get over yourself. You know as well as I do, you’re only doing this to keep yourself busy. Same as all your bloody cleaning rotas.”
“We have to start somewhere, Jas.”
“Do we?”
“Of course we do.”
“Well I think you’re overcomplicating things. And I think you’re doing it intentionally. Water flows down, not up. It’s easier to collect rainwater than to try dragging it up from the ground. We need to build rain-catchers, not climbing frames.”
“Okay, okay…” he said, walking up to Jas so their conversation couldn’t easily be overheard. “So I’m trying to keep people busy. Nothing wrong with that.”
“Except it looks like you’re the one doing all the work.” He nodded toward Harte, Field, and Ainsworth, who were now leaning up against their shovels, watching Lorna coming back toward them.
“Maybe I am. Anyway, it’s not just me. I just want to keep everyone sharp and get us ready so we can clear out of here after the winter and make a fresh start.”
“What’s there to be ready for? What do you think’s going to happen? I’m guessing we’ll all just wander off in different directions and forget about all of this. That’s what I’m planning. As soon as the bodies are gone I’m going to find myself a decent-sized house, get plenty of supplies in, then do as little as possible for as long as I can.”
“And you’ll be happy with that?”
“I reckon I will.”
“There’s got to be more to life than that, though.”
“Has there? Sounds pretty idyllic to me.”
“But we don’t all have that freedom, do we? What about Aiden? He’s only twelve. We can’t leave him to fend for himself.”
“He’ll be okay. He won’t have much choice. He’ll grow up fast enough. Anyway, there’s a few mother hens here who’d be more than willing to take him under their wings.”
“There might be other kids.”
“You think?”
“I don’t know, and that’s the point. We can’t just split up and look after ourselves at the expense of everyone else. If we want the human race to survive then we—”
“Who said anything about that?”
“What?”
“All this ‘human race’ bullshit. It isn’t my concern, mate. I’ve tried all that and it doesn’t work. It’s over. We’re too far gone. You should stop stressing and get used to relaxing. We don’t need to dig for water, ’cause there’s millions of bottles of the stuff in the supermarket up and down the country, just waiting to be taken. And there’s plenty more besides—lakes, rivers, reservoirs…”
“So what about food?”
“Same. Just keep looting.”
“But it’ll all run out eventually and then—”
“—and then it won’t be my problem. I’ll be long gone. Dead and buried.”
“Well, not buried, not if you’re alone. You’ll die in your armchair, feet up in front of your TV that doesn’t work.”
“Just dead, then. So what? I won’t care. Point is, Jackson, I’ve already lost everything that mattered. I worked my bollocks off for my family, and I did everything I could for them. They meant more to me than anything else in the world, you know. But none of that meant anything because, in the end, there was fuck all I could do to help them. I couldn’t save them. I couldn’t ease the pain. Bloody hell, I wasn’t even there for them when they died. I was on my own. I was a security guard, looking after a new-built shopping center that wasn’t even going to open for another month, and I should have been at home. Seems to me, the harder I’ve tried since then, the more fucked-up things have got.
“So I’ve made a decision and I’ve stopped. I’m not even going to try anymore. And if you want to waste your time doing stuff like this, then you go for it. Just don’t expect me to help.”
15
The small classroom had begun to resemble a sixth-form common room. Someone could be found in there most of the time, but the only person who used the room for its originally intended purpose now was Zoe, and the only reason she chose to work there was because it was the warmest place in the entire castle. She’d tried studying in her caravan, but it was nigh on impossible to concentrate there, even if she shut herself in the small, square bathroom and sat on the disconnected pan. As well as the subzero temperature, she was also having to share the confined space with Caron and Lorna, and with Melanie too now, who’d moved out of the caravan next door a few days earlier after an argument with Sue about something so trivial that neither of them could even remember what it was. And sharing with Melanie inevitably meant having to put up with either late-night visits from a stream of men (which drove Lorna crazy) or her coming in and out at all hours, usually having had more than a few drinks. Will Bayliss, Phil Kent, Paul Field … Zoe had lost count of all the different blokes Melanie had had through the door.
Zoe was beginning to despise this place. With six caravans all lined up in a row outside, it was starting to resemble the holiday park from hell. She had to keep reminding herself that this wasn’t going to last forever, and that no matter how bad things were here, they were infinitely worse on the other side of the castle walls.
Ainsworth, Bayliss, Field, and Jas were sitting around the paraffin heater, blocking most of the heat and making a hell of a lot of noise. The light was beginning to fade, but Zoe ws determined to finish the section of her study book she’d been working on all afternoon. It was a particularly complex, heavy-going section on the intricacies of one particular aspect of international commercial law, and it was quite possibly the most redundant topic she could have chosen to study. Much of it hadn’t even made sense to her when there’d been a corporate world left to apply it to.
“Zoe, love,” Sue called from the kitchen next door, “give us a hand, would you.”
Zoe looked over her shoulder through the connecting doors between the classroom, café, and kitchen which Sue had left propped open with chairs. As usual, she’d been preparing an evening meal for anyone who could be bothered to drag themselves over to the café to eat.
“I’m busy,” Zoe shouted back. “Ask someone else. There’s four blokes in here all sat on their arses doing nothing. Ask one of them.”
Sue walked over to the door. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
She stumbled for an answer momentarily. “Because they’ve been working all day, that’s why.”
“So have I.”
“Yes, but what you’re doing is just for you. They’ve been doing stuff outside.”
“So have I,” she said again, “and I’ve been doing this since I came in. I’ll ask them to help if you won’t.”
“No, don’t. I’ll just—”
It was too late.
“Oi, Will,” Zoe shouted. “Sue needs a hand.”
Ainsworth began a sarcastic slow clap.
“Why don’t you help her, then?” Bayliss shouted back.
“Because I’m busy.”
“So am I.”
“Doing what?”
“Planning.”
“Planning what?”
“Can’t tell you.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Sue said, sounding uncomfortable. “I’ll do it myself.”