Acknowledging my own worth and beauty instead of relying on others to make me feel attractive finally freed me up in the bedroom. Suddenly, I wasn’t waiting for my partners to inspect my body, or worrying what the results would be if they did—I’d already passed my own inspection with flying colours.
Tampa tells the story of a teacher seducing a schoolboy.
‘I wish … I’d known sex is a lifelong learning curve,’ says Cosmo writer Rosie Mullender
Since my first kiss at the ripe old age of eighteen, I’ve learnt a lot. After my first boyfriend pursued my virginity, then refused to bunk off work to bask in the afterglow, I realised that sex doesn’t always have the same emotional impact on men that it does on women.
My second boyfriend only wanted sex once a month. Three years on, I realised that, no matter how much you love him, without a satisfying sex life you’re basically just good friends. To convince myself I was still desirable, I tried a few flings and learnt they’re not for everybody, and that a man wanting to sleep with you and feeling wanted are very different things. And that arriving home on Christmas morning wearing a bedraggled Sexy Mrs Claus outfit will get you in big trouble with your mum.
There followed eight blissful years with a man who showed me that even if boxes on your ‘tall, dark and handsome’ wishlist go unticked, being laughed into bed is the most fun ever. That was swiftly followed by a relationship that was the exact opposite, proving even the most passionate sex means nothing if a man can’t make you laugh.
With seventeen years’ sexual experience and six working for Cosmo, you’d think I’d know it all. But I’m still learning (most recent lesson: mainlining cheese is a great distraction during a year-long sex drought).
So what I wish I’d always known is this: no matter how much you think you know about sex, there’s always plenty more to discover.
‘I wish … I’d known how to ask for what I want in bed,’ says TV presenter Cherry Healey
Firstly, I wish I’d known sex wouldn’t be like it’s depicted in Dirty Dancing. The real thing involves more bodily fluid and laughing than in movies. I also wish I hadn’t been in such a rush to pop my Cherry (sorry, couldn’t resist …).
I had a very near miss with a boy under a boat when I was fifteen, after too much Malibu, then a more favourable experience with a long-term (ie, more than a week) boyfriend at sixteen. He was lovely and it was very sweet—but still painful and definitely not ‘sexy.’
No matter how many saucy books, magazines or videos you steal from your elder brother, there’s no fast track to earth-shattering sexytime. Like anything, it’s a skill that needs both practice and a willingness to learn.
I do wish I’d asked myself, ‘What do I like?’ a little more, rather than thinking, ‘I hope he liked that …’
It took a long time (about ten years!) to work up the courage to suggest stuff in the bedroom. What I now know is that when you’re assertive, everyone wins.
And while the fantasy of bonking Patrick Swayze in a sweaty hut is great, real sex often requires tissues and a sense of humour, neither of which often features in film and TV simulations.
I’d tell my fifteen-year-old self to lay off the Malibu, expect to learn the moves gradually, and embrace the real version of sex—not waste time wondering if I was a bit rubbish.
What do you wish you’d always known about sex?
Tell us at cosmo.mail@hearst.co.uk
No.1 Sunday Times bestselling author Sylvia Day,
America’s premier provocative fiction writer,
delivers the debut Cosmo Red-Hot Reads
novel for Mills & Boon.
Download the eBook at:
www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo
From No.1 Sunday Times bestselling author
Sylvia Day comes the gripping romantic
conclusion to the miniseries that launched
Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Mills & Boon.
It started with Afterburn
and ends with an Aftershock.
Download the eBook at:
www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo
Discover more sizzling stories and
red-hot romance at
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About the Author
Sylvia Day is a Sunday Times and #1 international bestselling author of over twenty award-winning novels sold in more than forty countries. She is a #1 bestselling author in twenty-one countries, with tens of millions of copies of her books in print. Her Crossfire series has been optioned for television by Lionsgate, and she has been nominated for the Goodreads Choice Award for Best Author. Visit her at www.sylviaday.com, www.facebook.com/authorsylviaday and on Twitter, @SylDay.
Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Mills & Boon
ISBN: 978 1 472 01606 5
AFTERSHOCK
© 2014 Sylvia Day
Published in Great Britain 2014
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
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