‘Why are you so set on Bill going?’ she asked. ‘He was a friend of Tubby’s,’ I said. ‘It was Tubby who got those engines made for him, wasn’t it? Damn it, he owes Tubby that.’
‘There’s no other reason?’ She hesitated, staring at me hard. ‘You say you jumped, leaving Tubby in the plane?’
Again the quickness of her question almost caught me off my guard. ‘I said nothing of the sort. Don’t try and pin anything like that on to me,’ I added angrily.
‘Then why was he hurt and not you?’
‘Because-’ I dropped my head into my hand, pressing at the corners of my eyes with finger and thumb, trying to loosen the band of strain that was tightening across my forehead. ‘I don’t know,’ I said wearily. ‘For God’s sake stop asking me questions. All I want you to do is to get Saeton for me.’
Diana caught hold of the lapels of my German greatcoat. ‘You’re lying!’ Her voice hissed between her clamped teeth. ‘You’re lying, Neil. I know you are. You’re hiding something. What is it? You must tell me what it is.’ She was shaking me violently. ‘What happened? What really happened?’
‘Leave me alone, can’t you?’ I whispered. If only she’d leave me alone, let me think. ‘Get Saeton,’ I added. ‘I want to talk to Saeton.’
‘Something happened that night. Didn’t it? Something happened. Neil — what was it? Please tell me what it was.’ She was kneeling beside me now and her voice had risen hysterically. I could feel the sudden silence in the room, feel them staring at me — the regular air crew boys, men who knew nothing about my story, who would be judging me in the light of Diana clinging to my greatcoat and crying out, ‘What happened? What happened that night?’ ‘Wait till Saeton comes,’ I said wearily.
‘What’s Bill got to do with it? Was he the cause of it?’ she looked wildly” round and then swung fiercely back on me. ‘Will you talk if Bill is here? Will you tell me that really happened then?’
‘Yes, if you’ll get him to fly out to Hollmind tonight. He can land at the airfield and then we’ll get Tubby out. Tubby will be all right then.’
‘Hollmind is a disused aerodrome. I checked that yesterday when I got the news. Are you sure he’ll be able to land there?’
‘He’s done it once.’
‘What do you mean?’
I pressed my head into my hand. ‘Nothing,’ I said. If I didn’t get some sleep soon I’d be saying the first thing that came into my mind. ‘I didn’t mean anything,’ I murmured. ‘I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m very tired, Diana. Get Saeton for me, will you; and stop asking me questions.’
She hesitated as though on the brink of another question. But all she said was, ‘Bill isn’t here yet.’
The I.O. was back at my side now. ‘You want Saeton? He’ll be here any minute now. The first Tudor has just come in. You worked with him on these engines of his, I understand?’
‘Yes,’ I didn’t want to talk any more. The idea that the authorities wouldn’t help me was firmly fixed in my mind. Saeton was the only man who could help me. I sat there, stupid with the warmth of the stove and the fatigue of my body, feeling the blood drying in a crust on my temple, watching the door. Air crews moved in and out and as they passed they stared at us silently as though we were some queer tableau entirely divorced from the solid, everyday routine of flying in and out of Berlin.
Then at last the door was pushed open and Saeton came striding in followed by his crew. He was almost past us before he saw me. He checked, rocking back on his heels as though for an instant he had been caught off balance. Then his features set themselves into a smile of welcome. ‘Hallo, Neil!’ He reached down and grasped my shoulder. ‘Glad you’re safe.’ But I noticed that his eyes didn’t light up with his face. They were hard as slate and withdrawn as though wrestling with the problem of my presence. He had a silk sweat rag knotted round his throat and his flying suit was unzipped, making him appear more solid than ever. ‘Well, what happened? How did you get out?’
‘I hitched a ride and walked the rest,’ I said.
There was an awkward silence. He seemed to want to put a question, but his eyes slid to the others and he remained silent. I knew suddenly that he was nervous. I hadn’t thought of him as a man who could ever be nervous, but as he lit a cigarette his hands were trembling. ‘You’ve heard the news, have you? About the engines, I mean. They’re proving even better than we expected — twenty per cent increase in power and a forty-five per cent reduction in fuel consumption. They’re going to be-’
‘Tubby is alive,’ I said.
‘Alive?’ The echo of my statement was jerked out of him as though I’d hit him below the belt. Then he recovered himself. ‘Are you sure? You’re not-’ He stopped, conscious of the silence of the others watching him. ‘Where is he?’
‘In a farmhouse near Hollmind Airfield.’
‘I see.’ He took a long pull at his cigarette. The news had jolted him and I could see he didn’t know what to do about it. He glanced at Diana and then at the I.O. who drew him on one side. I saw the man’s lips frame the words ‘Russian report’ and I could almost have laughed at the thought of an R.A.F. Intelligence Officer giving Saeton the details of what had happened to that plane when all the time it was sitting out there on the FASO apron unloading fuel.
At length Saeton said, ‘All right. I’ll see if I can get some sense out of him. Mind if I talk to him alone?’
The I.O. agreed and led Diana away. Saeton came and stood over me. He was smiling. ‘For some reason the Russians have been very helpful,’ he said. He was quite sure of himself again now. ‘You’ve heard about this report, have you? They say they found the remains of one of the crew.’ I made no comment. His head was in silhouette against the light. It hung over me as it had done that first night at Membury. And he was smiling. ‘Well, how did you find him?’ I told him about the search and when I had finished he said, ‘So he’s injured. Badly?’
‘Broken arm and ribs and a pierced lung,’ I said. ‘We’ve got to get him out. He needs hospital treatment.’
‘And if he doesn’t get it?’
‘I don’t know,’ I answered. ‘There’s a German doctor looking after him. But Tubby is pretty bad. I think he might die.’
‘I see.’ He ran his thumb along the blue line of his jaw. ‘What are you going to do about it?’
‘I can’t do anything. That bloody little Intelligence Officer doesn’t believe me. I want you to tell them you believe what I’m saying — persuade them to give us a plane.’
‘Us?’ He gave a quick laugh.
‘Tubby won’t talk,’ I said quickly. ‘He promised me.’
‘I’m on the very edge of success,’ he said and I realised that he had room for nothing else in that queer, urgent mind of his.
‘Yes, I heard about that,’ I said. ‘Is it true officials are coming out from England?’
He nodded, his eyes lighting up. ‘Everything’s gone marvellously. First trip my flight engineer was staggered by the performance of the engines. Within twenty-four hours it was all over the mess at Wunstorf and R.A.F. engineers were flying the airlift with me, checking for themselves. Now the Ministry of Civil Aviation and the Ministry of Supply are sending their experts out, including a boffin from Farnborough. By this afternoon-’
‘What about Tubby?’ I said. ‘You can’t abandon him. You’ve got to get him out.’
‘You should have thought about him before you told me you were going to the authorities as soon as you got back here.’
‘I won’t talk,’ I said hastily. ‘Nor will Tubby.’
‘It’s too late to say that now.’ And then he added slowly, ‘As far as I’m concerned Tubby is dead.’
He said it without any emotion and I stared up at him, seeing the hard line of his jaw, the cold slatiness of his eyes, unable to believe even then that he meant what he said.