I suppose they gave me something for I don’t remember anything more till I woke up in bed with a nurse standing over me. ‘Feeling better?’ Her voice was gentle and soothing.
‘Yes, thanks.’ I closed my eyes, searching in my mind for what had happened, gradually piecing it together.
‘Open your mouth, please. I want to take your temperature.’ I obeyed her automatically and she pushed a thermometer under my tongue. ‘You were a bit feverish when they brought you in and you’ve been talking a lot.’
‘Delirious? What was I saying?’
‘Keep your mouth closed now. All about your flight and a friend of yours in the Russian Zone. Squadron Leader Pierce was here for a time. They’re flying you out tomorrow — that is if the M.O. says you’re fit enough.’
‘Flying me out tomorrow?’ I thrust at the bed, forcing myself up into a sitting position. If they flew me out tomorrow nothing could ever be done about Tubby.
‘Now don’t get excited otherwise we shan’t allow you to go.’ Her hands touched my shoulders, pushing me gently back against the pillows.
My eyes went past her, searching the room. At least I was on my own. A single window rattled to the sound of planes behind black curtains. ‘What’s the time?’ I mumbled the question, my tongue still closed over the thermometer.
‘Don’t talk, please. It’s nearly seven and if you’re good you can have some supper.’ She reached down and took the thermometer out of my mouth, peering at it through her thick-lensed glasses. ‘That’s fine. We’re back to normal now.’ She shook it down with a neat, practised flick of the wrist. ‘I’ll get you some food. Are you hungry?’
I realised then what the faint feeling in the pit of my stomach was. I couldn’t remember when I’d last had a meal. ‘Very,’ I said.
She smiled in her efficient, impersonal way. ‘Just a minute, nurse,’ I said as she was going out. ‘I’m still at Gatow, aren’t I?’ She nodded. ‘Will you get a message to someone for me? It’s for Mrs Carter. She works in the Malcolm Club. I want her to come and see me — right away. It’s urgent, tell her.’
‘Mrs Carter. Is she the wife of your friend?’ She nodded. ‘I’ll see she gets the message.’
She went out, closing the door, and I lay there staring at the light which hurt my eyes, listening to the planes coming in and taking off, and going over and over in my mind what I would say to Diana when she came. There must be no mistake this time. I had to convince her. She was my one hope. If they flew me out in the morning I’d be able to do nothing more for Tubby. And then I began to think about Saeton. I was angry then and I wished to God I had never met the man.
The nurse wasn’t away long and when she returned she had a tray full of dishes. ‘I brought you extra big helpings of everything,’ she said. ‘They told me you probably hadn’t had a proper meal for some time.’
‘What about Mrs Carter?’ I asked. ‘Is she coming?’
‘I haven’t been able to get your message to her yet.’
‘You must,’ I said desperately. ‘Please, sister. It’s urgent.’
‘All right. Don’t you fuss now. I’ll see she gets your message. Now you eat that.’
I thanked her for the food and she left me. For a time I could think of nothing but the joy of eating again. I ate until I was full and then I lay back replete and the thought of Tubby was nagging at my mind again. Perhaps if I put it all down on paper… The thought excited me. That was the answer. If they read it as a straightforward report… I would address it to Squadron Leader Pierce. He had a logical, reasonable mind. They couldn’t ignore it if it was sent to them in the form of a factual report. I lay there planning how I’d write it until the nurse returned.
‘You must have been hungry,’ she said as she saw the empty plates. ‘You look better, too. The M.O. will be round later. I don’t think you need be afraid he’ll stop you from going out on the P 19 in the morning.’
‘What about Mrs Carter? Did you get my message to her?’ I asked.
‘Yes. I went all the way down to the Malcolm Club myself. I’m sorry, Mr Fraser, but she won’t see you.’
‘Didn’t you tell her it was urgent?’ The sense of being boxed in with an invisible wall of disbelief was back with me again.
‘Yes, I told her that. I even told her it might affect your recovery.’
‘What did she say?’
‘She said there was no point in her seeing you.’
I lay back and closed my eyes, feeling suddenly exhausted. What was the good of going on fighting? Then I remembered the report I was going to write. ‘Can I have a pencil and some paper, please?’
She smiled. ‘You want to write to your girl-friend?’
‘Yes. Yes, that’s it.’ I nodded. ‘Can I have them quickly, please. It’s urgent. I must write now.’
She laughed. I remember it was a pleasant laugh. ‘Everything is always urgent with you, isn’t it?’
‘I’d like a pen if possible,’ I added. It would be 1 better if it was written in ink. Somehow it seemed to make it more formal, more definite than if I scribbled it in pencil. ‘Where are my clothes? There’s a pen in my flying suit.’
‘They’re in the cupboard just outside. I’ll get it for you. I haven’t any note-paper, I’m afraid. Will typing paper do?’
‘Yes, anything. Only hurry, please. I’ve got a lot to write and I want to get it finished before the M.O. comes round.’
But the M.O. didn’t come round. Propped up in bed I set it all down right from the time of my arrival at Membury. I had no reason to hide anything now and my pen fairly flew over the paper. And when I was in the middle of it the door opened and Saeton walked in. He was dressed in his flying kit. ‘Feeling better?’ he asked as he crossed the room.
‘I thought you were flying tests,’ I said.
‘So I am. But they can’t spare tankers off the fuel run. The boffins are flying routine flights with me.’
It was odd how matter-of-fact our conversation was and Saeton kept it that way. He came over and sat down on my bed. ‘Writing a report?’
‘Yes.’
He nodded. ‘I guessed you’d do that. It won’t help you, you know, Neil — unless Tubby gets back to corroborate your statement.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘I’ve only got about five minutes so I’ll say what I’ve got to say right away.’ He hesitated as though marshalling his thoughts. ‘You’ve put a lot of money and work into the company. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m not grateful and I wouldn’t want you to lose by it.’ I think he meant that. ‘You’ve seen Pierce?’
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘And you’ve guessed that it was I who put them on to you?’
I nodded.
‘Well, you didn’t give me much alternative, did you? I was convinced Tubby was dead and you made it quite clear that if you didn’t find him you’d give yourself up to the police. I couldn’t risk that. I had to discredit you in advance.’ He took a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket and tossed me one. His eyes were watching my face as he lit it for me. ‘I’m very near to success now, Neil. I’m so near success that the authorities would be most unwilling to believe any report that you made. The Rauch Motoren have got the Americans behind them. If your report were accepted, it would mean a trial and the whole thing would become public. In those circumstances the Americans would bring pressure to bear on our people and the engines might have to be handed back to the Rauch Motoren. At best the design would become generally available for any company in any country. You see what I’m driving at?’
‘You want me to keep my mouth shut?’
‘Exactly. I want you to admit that the Russian report is correct.’ I started to say something, but he held up his hand. ‘I know it’s tough on you. You’ll go to jail for this Callahan business. But as an airlift pilot I don’t imagine you’ll get more than a year, perhaps less. After all, you’ve got a fine record. As for the fact that you came out of the crash alive, you could say it was Tubby, not you, who was scared of jumping.’
‘Aren’t you forgetting one thing?’ I said.
‘What’s that?’