Lila looked at Helena, disbelief and then despairing resignation sweeping across her face as she stepped back. “Fine. I’ll keep my mouth shut. Put that monster of yours away, Ferron. I don’t want it near Pol.”
“Go on in,” Kaine said to Helena. “Don’t worry. I knew already that Bayard and I weren’t going to be having a joyous reunion.”
He turned to Amaris and led her towards the stable.
Helena watched them disappear inside and then looked back at Lila, feeling suddenly drained. She somehow thought there’d be enough joy to last an evening at least, but it already felt spent.
It wasn’t that she’d expected things to be simple; a sea of loss surrounded them. She couldn’t begin to imagine how Lila felt towards Kaine after all this time. Still, she hadn’t expected to need to legitimise something as intensely personal as her relationship with Kaine so quickly.
“Lila, if you hurt him, I will never forgive you,” she said.
Lila just shook her head. “You could do so much better.”
“No. He’s what I need, and he’s what it took to save you.”
She could see a multitude of objections rising to Lila’s lips.
“Come inside,” Lila said instead, looking away.
It was only when they were in good light that Helena realised that Lila was still wearing manacles. Not the full suppression that Helena had worn, but enough to keep her resonance weakened.
“He never took those off?” Helena said.
Lila looked down with a grimace. “He did for a while, until I nearly ripped out his talisman. When I woke up.” She shook her wrist. “It’s been a long time now.”
Helena looked around. The house was small and visibly lived in. There was a kitchen, a table, and a bed in the far corner, mostly hidden behind a curtain. It seemed so ordinary for Lila. A world away from the Institute and Solis Splendour, the shining paladin armour.
Helena found herself at a loss.
“Have you been here this whole time?” she finally asked.
Lila shook her head. “No. Back when Ferron thought he’d find you soon, we were just across the river in Novis. It was later that he brought me and Pol here.” She gave a wan smile. “He’s sleeping, do you want to see him?”
Helena followed her tentatively, and they both peeked around the curtain, to be met with the sight of a golden-headed little boy, with soft round cheeks, thick dark lashes, and chubby limbs sprawled like a starfish across the bed.
Lila stared at her son, a heavy adoration in her eyes. “He’s going to be so excited to have company,” she said softly. “We don’t go to the village much. It’s just the two of us most of the time.”
“You never ran?”
Lila swallowed. “I couldn’t at the first place. First I was pregnant, and then with an infant. And no leg. By the time we got here … I’d realised I didn’t have anywhere to go. Ferron said that even if I could get somewhere like the Novis court and they believed who I was, I’d be a disgraced paladin with an illegitimate child. If they decided to treat Pol as Principate, they wouldn’t let someone like me take care of him or protect him. It would have been dangerous to look for my mother’s family. Every time I’d think about leaving, I’d worry that the minute I did, you’d show up and we’d have missed each other.”
Lila pushed the curtain to block the light from falling on Pol, turning away. “Ferron paid off someone in the village to make sure we don’t starve since I’m not much good at farming. We have chickens and these awful ducks. I knit now, just like my mum did, although Pol grows out of everything about as fast as I can make them.”
“You know we’re not staying here,” Helena said. “We’re going to take a ship.”
Lila’s expression tightened, but she nodded. “Yes. Ferron’s mentioned the plan. Although he’s said a lot of things. I learned not to expect much.” She exhaled. “Is he really—is he really coming with us? You’re planning to—play house with him?”
Helena’s shoulders tensed. “Yes. Running away together was always our plan. I added you to it because Luc asked me to make sure you and Pol were safe.”
Lila’s eyes went wide. “You saw Luc before he—?”
Helena’s stomach shrivelled as she realised the lie she was about to begin telling. Could she really do this? Lie to Lila forever?
She started to speak, but Lila looked so desperate for any last pieces of Luc, his final moments. She swallowed.
“I was worried about him that day, so I left Headquarters. We—we reconciled just before his unit headed back to Headquarters. I think somehow he knew things were going wrong—he asked me to promise that I’d take care of you. It was the last thing he said to me.”
Lila gave a strained gasping sound in her throat. “Do you know how he was captured—how they got him?”
Helena’s lips pressed tight as she shook her head.
To the world, to history, Lucien Holdfast had died on the steps of the Alchemy Tower. Lila would have to believe that, too.
The door opened, and Kaine entered. Lila’s visible emotions vanished, the temperature of the room dropping. Kaine paid no attention to her, his eyes for Helena only. He frowned.
“Have you fed her?” He looked at Lila.
“No …” Lila looked at Helena. “Are you hungry?”
“She’s pregnant, and all we had was travel rations, so she’s barely eaten in days,” Kaine said, glaring at Lila.
“You could have mentioned.” Lila went over to a cabinet and rummaged about, bringing over a pitcher of milk and some bread, cheese, and grapes, setting them on the table.
Helena picked at the food because Kaine was watching, but her stomach was still unsettled and she didn’t know if it was from the exhaustion of travel or a general anxiousness worsened by the reunion and realisation that there was no point when things would be easy.
“Before we leave,” she said, “we need to take Lila’s manacles off. And is there some way to get materials so I can make her a prosthetic?”
Lila brightened at this, but Kaine’s jaw set, then he sighed.
“There’s no need,” he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wire key, tossing it to Lila. With no further explanation, he went back outside. When he returned, he was carrying a metal chest that was covered in dirt as if it had been dug up. There was a lock that came easily open, and inside lay Lila’s prosthetic, wrapped in canvas but looking little worse for wear.
“Has that been here the entire time?” Lila asked after a minute of stunned silence.
“I brought it here before you arrived,” Kaine said. “But I didn’t really trust you not to draw attention to yourself. I was going to tell Helena where to find it. It was in the wreckage from the bombing.
“The Abeyance is in three days,” Kaine said while Helena was tinkering with the prosthetic, making sure the components still worked as she got it fitted for Lila again. “The trade routes have been open for a fortnight, but the sea is calmest now and the ships will be the most crowded, which will serve us well.”
“Where exactly are we going?” Lila asked as Helena was adjusting the balance.
“There’s hundreds of islands running from Etras towards the mainland,” Kaine said. “We’re headed for one of the smaller islands near one of the trade cities.”
HELENA MET APOLLO HOLDFAST THE next day.
Pol was shy, burrowing his face in against Lila’s neck and peering at Helena with dancing eyes as his mother introduced them.
He was a sturdy chap, with more of the Bayard build about him. He would grow up to be very tall, Helena could tell just from looking at him.
“Pol,” Lila said, nuzzling her face in his messy blond hair, “this is your godmother, Helena. Do you remember that I told you about her? She was one of your father’s best friends. She always looked out for him and me, and now—” Lila swallowed. “Now she’s going to help look out for you. Isn’t that nice? She came here with Ferron. You might not remember him, but you met him when you were smaller.”