In the mornings, he was gone before I woke.
I spent a lot of my days with Aiko. She took her wedding planning duties seriously, just as seriously as she took every aspect of business in this castle. When she wasn’t asking about human customs and clothing and vows, she was urging me into my wedding gown for yet another fitting. I decided early on to just tell Aiko what I wanted in the dress. It was obvious now I’d never get to don a real wedding dress at a real human wedding, so I might as well make this one into what I’d always pictured myself wearing. As Aiko worked diligently on the design, I was thankful for the fact that there didn’t seem to be anything approximating mirrors here. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing my own reflection, outfitted in the dress of my dreams, as I prepared to wed a monster from a nightmare.
But... he didn’t feel like a nightmare anymore. And that was maybe the hardest part. I’d long since stopped fearing him, and I had to admit that I didn’t even hate him now. If I hated him, I wouldn’t be lying awake, waiting for him to return so I could fucking go to sleep every night. If I hated him, I wouldn’t have felt so sad for his losses.
And if I hated him, I sure as hell wouldn’t be wondering what he’d wear to our fake wedding. What he’d think of the dress. Of me.
What I felt for Wylfrael was all chaos and confusion. He made me want to understand him. He made me want to scream. Sometimes, at night, I woke up halfway and was sure that he stood near, bending over the bed and watching me, a silent sentinel. I could never quite fully awaken in those moments. Could never catch him, never truly see him. Which wasn’t any different from my waking hours, to be honest. My groom would never die, but he already felt like a ghost.
I kept myself busy during the days while Wylfrael was gone. Even though she was excited about it, Aiko couldn’t spend all her time with me wedding planning. She had chores to do, and though it had taken some effort on my part to wear her down, she finally agreed to let me help. I scrubbed the crystal floors, assisted in preparing the meals, and dusted the library with Ashken. I even helped Shoshen shovel. He seemed very enthusiastic about my assistance and didn’t require any of the cajoling that his sister did. I was thankful for that. Shovelling the snow felt good. Familiar. Something I’d done countless times back on Earth. I helped him feed the animals in the barn too, big shaggy white bovine creatures called sotasha. The first time I stepped foot in there, I started laughing in giddy disbelief, discovering that what Wylfrael had told me about animals was true. Their brays and moos took shape inside my head, usually some form of the word “food” combined with the word for “more.”
And it wasn’t just the sotasha. There was also Brekken, a massive Sionnachan hunting dog. At least, the word translated to dog inside my ear, but he looked more like a gigantic fairy tale wolf, huge and silver-furred, his shoulders level with mine, with eyes like embers and two massive curving horns spiralling out of his great head. When he’d first seen me outside with Shoshen, he’d loped over and started circling us, barking and yipping madly. I’d been terrified until words had started filtering into my consciousness.
“New two-legs. Hello, two-legs. Pretty, pretty, pretty. Pretty two-legs play? Two-legs hunt? Brekken happy. Brekken hungry. Hello, two-legs. Two-legs tiny. Two-legs cub. Brekken love two-legs cub. Love two-legs. Love food. Treat? Treat? Play, two-legs, play?”
“I think he likes you,” Shoshen called over, laughing in the hyena-esque way I’d gotten used to. It hadn’t taken long – he laughed a lot.
Brekken padded along in his jaunty circle, barking and tossing his head.
“Yes! Brekken love new two-legs. Love Shoshen. Love Aiko. Love Ashken. Ashken three-legs! Brekken four-legs! Brekken love legs. Love run. Love play. Love food. Treat, two-legs?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t have a treat for you,” I said, shaking my head, amazed by this entire interaction. When Brekken stopped walking and stared at me blankly, then repeated his question about treats, I remembered he couldn’t understand me. He only understood Sionnachan words and commands.
“No treats right now, Brekken. And her name is Torrance,” Shoshen said before turning to me. “I can’t tell you how strange it is to understand the animals now. I’ve known Brekken my whole life, and now I can hear what he’s actually saying to me.”
“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” I breathed.
“It is.” He grimaced. “Though, it gets a little dark when he’s going in for the kill on a hunt. I try to tune those parts out.”
Brekken resumed his mad laps around us.
“Hunt? Hunt? Two leg Torrance hunt? Torrance tiny cub. Torrance cub learn hunt. Brekken show. Brekken big dog, big hunt. Brekken show tiny Torrance cub. Brekken teach. Brekken get treat.”
“She’s not going to go hunting with you, you great mad lout,” Shoshen chuckled, leaning against his shovel.
“Torrance cub. Cub learn,” Brekken replied obstinately. “Learn hunt. Learn play. Learn cover shit. No mess no scent no trail. Brekken teach tiny two-legs.”
I burst out laughing.
“OK. How about play? That one I can handle,” I said. I tossed down my shovel, looking around for something to play fetch with, but there weren’t exactly sticks just lying around in a snowy forest of crystal cone trees. Instead, I settled on bending down and heaping snow into my hands. I formed it into a ball, then chucked it as hard as I could.
Brekken went absolutely ballistic, taking off on a tear after a snowball that was just a little too fluffy and that had actually entirely disintegrated in the air.
He hadn’t noticed my snowball’s demise, though, and was digging and running and barking, his tail going crazy. “Where ball? Where ball? Where ball where ball where ball where ball where ball?”
It became a routine. I’d help Aiko with chores and wedding things in the morning, then after lunch, I’d usually venture out with Shoshen, doing outdoor chores and throwing snowball after snowball for Brekken. Like this, with these kind people and this batshit-crazy, loveable, horned wolf of a dog, it almost felt like I could build some sort of life here.
At least, until Wylfrael finally came back.
It was the first time I’d seen him during daylight hours in ten days. I didn’t even know he was there. Not at first. I’d been lobbing snowballs for Brekken while Shoshen did some chores inside the barn when suddenly Brekken started growling. The growls turned to barks, and he sprinted to me, getting behind my back to face something.
That something was Wylfrael.
I hadn’t seen where he’d come from – presumably the sky, having landed soundlessly. He certainly hadn’t been inside the castle this morning. Brekken barked again, his hackles rising at Wylfrael’s presence.
“Get back big wing two-legs!”
Wylfrael’s silver-white brows rose slightly.
“Brekken,” I said, frantically petting him, worried he’d do something that would make Wylfrael retaliate, forgetting he couldn’t understand a fucking word of English. “It’s alright. That’s Wylfrael.”
“The master of this castle,” Wylfrael added. He obviously spoke in Sionnachan, because Brekken understood and replied.
“No,” barked Brekken. “Aiko Ashken Shoshen master. Big wing two-legs stranger. Torrance cub. Brekken protect cub. Big wing two-legs want tiny Torrance. Brekken smell want. Brekken smell hunger. This big wing two-legs hunter. Hunt Torrance. Eat Torrance. Brekken kill.”