“The only way to beat the virus, your gods’ wrath, is to give humans a chance to choose. The only way for your continued survival is to recognize that all are worthy of life, and to atone for the cruelty of your Overlord.” Her voice rings out, strangely amplified, and I blink as gold sparks from her skin.
It must be my imagination, though. Or a trick of the light.
“There is a way forward without your extinction, should you choose it. Follow the path of your king. Give others the same choice.” She licks her lips, swaying slightly, her green eyes huge and glowing in the firelight. “If you choose the path of the Overlord, I have no doubt that all that awaits the Roth is ash. Ash and death.”
A mighty roar of a cheer goes up, and I can’t look away from my mate. My Leigh.
Her hair is burnished gold, flaming in the light, and she is so stunning with my ash marks on her skin that I fear my need for her will never be quenched. Her words are perfect, too. She is so much more than I ever imagined.
More than I deserve. I have wronged her.
I squeeze my eyes shut, but no matter how I try, I cannot banish the look of horror on her face when she saw what I’d done. Realized the depth of my manipulation. I thought I was doing what I needed to keep her safe, to keep her people safe…
“We are bound by fire,” she calls out, and I blink at the power ringing through her voice. “But you know that fire consumes and destroys, should it burn out of control. The time for control is now.”
“Down with the Overlord,” someone in the crowd shouts, the rest picking up the chant. I smile. Next to me, Leigh sways slightly, blinking out at the crowd in surprise, like she’s just now seeing them.
I have everything I wanted.
My victory feels hollow.
I have the Roth eating out of the palm of my hand. I have my crown and throne. I have my markings on my queen.
But I think I have lost my love forever.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
LEIGH
I wanted to hit Nydo when I realized just how far he’d gone to deceive me, how he’d played me like a puppet on a stage I didn’t even realize had been set just for me. I stare at the markings in the mirror, and though they are less apparent than they were yesterday, they’re still there.
Permanent. Mate marks.
“Fuck.”
Tentatively, I touch the gold swirls that slice down the left side of my face, from just above my eyebrow to my jawline.
I hardly recognize myself.
I should be happy, at least, that our takeover of Roth while the Overlord is off planet has gone peacefully. We’ve enacted a bloodless coup, for now, at least, and that’s something.
The Roth stare at me like I’m the answer to all their problems, and I’ve spent the last day and half trying to be graceful about it in their presence.
Trying not to cry.
He said he loved me. Nydo said I was his. That he would protect me.
But I don’t think he truly cares about me at all, not past what I could do for him. It makes me sick that I believed him. That I still want to believe him, believe that I wasn’t just a tool honed and sharpened to slice the Overlord’s power base.
I sigh, picking at the gold gown. It’s beautiful, like everything else in the rooms. It’s alien, sure, unearthly and strange, but beautiful. Roth itself is, too. I haven’t been too far from the palace yet, but from the vids I’ve seen, the countryside is a mix of rolling green and volcanic fields. Further north are ice caves and glaciers so blue-green they seem unreal.
Unreal, like everything Nydo tricked me into believing about him.
I haven’t seen him since I gave that weird speech, feeling not like myself at all. Feeling like something else was speaking through me, half-aware but unable to do more than ride the wave.
Turns out Nydo isn’t the only one that wants to puppet me.
And I can’t even fucking talk about it with anyone, because the hand-not-maiden dude is the only one Nydo will allow in to bring me drinks and food, and otherwise I’m left to my own devices. He even refused to even give me his name when I asked.
I’m a fucking figurehead. A glittery, human figurehead.
Nydo’s trapped me in another prison, as surely as I was when he found me. This one is gilded, but it’s a cage nonetheless.
My hands fist in my skirts, and despair rolls through me.
“Then leave, little human, if you’re so miserable. He will fight for you if he is worthy of you.”
I scream, half-jumping out of my skin.
“Motherfuck!” I yell, twirling around, looking for the source of the voice.
There’s no one there, though.
Something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye, and when I flick my gaze back to the mirror, I realize what it is. The weird symbols on my face are glowing.
“What, so the swirly things weren’t going to be enough? You had to put some shit on me too?”
“So angry.” The voice sounds petulant, and I glare at my reflection. “Would you have accepted the mark if I had asked?”
“No,” I say, feeling like maybe I should call for a Roth doctor. Hearing voices isn’t great, I think, no matter your species.
“Just as you wouldn’t have accepted it if your king had asked,” the voice says.
“Oh, so you’re taking his side?” I snarl at no one. Great!
“No. I am on the side of the Roth, and on the side of the humans, too. I think he did what he thought necessary to ensure the safety of everyone in the only way he knew how.”
“He could have told me!”
“So what will you do now?” the voice says, crackling with amusement. All the hair on my arms stands on end. It feels like the presence… is close. Energy crackles along my skin, like I’ve rubbed up on a balloon and charged myself with static.
It’s unnerving as hell, and I lick my lips.
“Leave, then, little human queen. His ship is out there, you know,” the voice suggests. “The one you arrived on. If you don’t want to be here, to protect the human females that will soon flood this world, then leave. The world will spin on without you. The guards are changing now.”
A lock clicks, and the door to the rooms I’ve been shut it in all day opens.
I don’t look around for the voice, for the presence that sent fearful tingles down my spine. I know she’s already gone.
I bound for the door, gathering my stupid skirts in one hand and running for it.
Surely a disembodied voice wouldn’t steer me wrong.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
NYDO
My brother arrives late in the afternoon the day after the mating ceremony, with one of the settlement fleets in tow.
I try to focus on what the leaders are saying, what Lyko says, but I’m utterly distracted.
All I can think of is the wounded expression on Leigh’s face.
I am obsessed with her.
The speech she gave… she is perfect, more perfect than I could have ever imagined.
And I have ruined my chance at love with her.
I have ruined us.
I scrub a hand down my face.
“Have you heard a word I’ve said, brother?” Lyko asks quietly. The conversation’s died while I sat and pined over Leigh, and I realize they must have been waiting on me to say something.
Instead of answering, as the answer is obvious, I stand, moving to the window. I don’t know why. It’s almost like a hand pushed me to the wall of windows that look out over the rugged green lands past the nearly empty city and airfield.
“Leave us,” Lyko says simply.
The noise of Roth filing out of the room sounds, and still, I don’t move, even though I half-want to turn and resume our planning to take out the Overlord once and for all. Instead, I stand in front of the window, the Roth landscape that tugs on my heartstrings stretching out before me.
My homeland. I would give up everything to see it safe, to see my brothers safe as well.
“Would you? Truly?”
“What?” I ask, glancing askance at where Lyko stands beside me now.
“I didn’t say anything. Are you alright?” Concern purses his lips.
“I…” I drift off, uncertain how to continue. Kings do not admit they have made mistakes. No king I have ever heard of, at least. “I am not.”
“You aren’t?” Lyko repeats, clearly flummoxed by this.
My little brother. Even though Lyko is as huge as I am, his shoulders broader, even, he will always be my little brother.
“I have never wanted to appear weak. Not to you, not to Ayro. Not to anyone. But I have made a mistake, and I don’t think I will be able to recover.” My chest hurts, and I rub it, sucking in a breath that’s suddenly hard to catch. “I do not know how to fix this, and it may make me weak to ask, but I need help to fix it.”
Lyko places a hand on my shoulder, his expression grim. “You know I would follow you into bloody battle any day. Name it, brother.”
“My Leigh,” I say, and my voice cracks on her name. I swallow, trying again. “Leigh.”
“Is she ill? Hurt? I wondered when Piper could not find her.” Lyko squeezes my shoulder with a powerful hand. He’s always been kinder than I. A better male than I. Generous. Understanding.
“I have wounded her.”
“Brother,” Lyko’s expression grows dark. “You said she was your mate. And you hurt her?”
“Not physically.” I shake my head, sick at the thought, my heart tearing wide open. “But I… was not honest with her about the marking ceremony, about what it means to be a mate of Roth. I thought she was agreed, I thought she understood and wanted to be mine. But I never told her, never asked, and now… now she hates me.” I choke, and something stings my eyes.
Lyko studies me, amazement and fear in his eyes. “You are making tears. Like the humans.”
“Impossible,” I scoff, just as something hot and wet streaks down my cheek. I touch the pads of my fingertips to my face, staring at the wetness in blatant disbelief. “It feels as though my heart has been ripped from my chest,” I confess.
“Then apologize,” Lyko says easily.
“It will not be enough.”
“Have you tried?” He squints at me.
“How do you know so much about what a human wants?” I glower at him, my tears drying up as quickly as they came.
“I have been traveling with one for a week now, and I spent time with them on Sueva, when I could. It is not hard to see that they are more emotional than we are. They think with their hearts, not with their heads. It is a lesson for the Roth, I think.”
“What do you mean?” I turn towards him more fully, homing in on his speculative tone.
“The humans are driven by both their emotions and their rational thoughts, but they feel so deeply. They want others to be happy, for the most part. They want to do right by people, not to gain power over them, or at least, not always. They are complicated, but I can see how your Leigh would be, ahem, upset by lies and manipulations.”
“I have spent just as much time with humans as you, and yet, you seem to know them better than I.”
“Maybe I have simply tried harder to understand them.” He shrugs one shoulder, reminding me so much of our father that a fresh ache twangs through me.
“So I should apologize,” I restate, trying to wrap my thoughts around how I can possibly apologize enough to make things right. “I single-mindedly pursued the throne, only to be bereft of what I truly wanted as soon as I earned my kingdom.”
It wasn’t worth it.
Something red out the window catches my eye, and I turn back to it.
“Leigh,” I rasp.
The red in her hair stands out brightly against the shorn grass, her dress billowing about her as she runs. From here, our mating marks aren’t apparent, but I can feel my tether to her snap tight the farther she runs.
“Guards,” Lyko calls, his voice alarmed.
Several Roth males rush in, and I hold up a hand. At my signal they wait, clearly uneasy.
Love isn’t holding someone so tight you crush the life from them. Love isn’t tearing their wings from them and putting them in a cage. Leigh’s furious, sad voice echoes in my thoughts, so real it’s nearly as if someone is whispering in my ear. Love is letting them go, letting them fly.
Her red dress and hair get smaller and smaller as she sprints across the fields.
To where the ship we flew in on waits.
If she wants to fly, so be it.
I slam my fist into the window, fire licking through the room before turning to smoke and nothing.
I will let her fly.