“No one just hangs around doing the dishes and picking up the poo-poo undies for the hell of it. The only people who do so tend to be parents, and they do it because they love the people they’re picking up after. Or they’re hired to do a job and do it. For pay. Not for grins and giggles. And while I can buy the whole ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ line, what I can’t buy is that you’ve been around for what sounds like hundreds of years without letting on that you are around.”
“Closer to thousands. And a few know,” Algar admitted.
“Because they don’t look shocked out of their minds, I’m betting Richard and Paul know.” They both nodded. “Because you were and are the Supreme Pontifex, right?” More nods. “I want the real story, guys, and I want it now. Official order, and all that,” I added to Algar.
“Algar doesn’t wish to be found,” White said. “So, we provide him with an interesting world to interact and partake in, while he provides us with useful services.”
“Gotcha. You’re a wanted man, a criminal. You’re Loki. Or the Q. Or some combo of both.”
Algar grinned. “In a way, I suppose.”
“Wow, you got those references?”
He nodded. “I watch every show on television, have seen every movie, read every book.”
“Every one?”
“Every one. The good ones, the mediocre ones, the bad ones, and the terrible ones. I’m faster than you can actually conceive and boredom is always a threat.”
“So cleaning up for the A-Cs is, what, a thing you do to pass the time?”
“Pretty much. You’re right, I’m hiding out. However, the crimes I’m accused of are well past your comprehension. They’re crimes of an immortal. And before you waste time trying to figure them out, to make it something you can understand, I disobeyed our Prime Directive more than once. And no, you don’t get to know what that Prime Directive is. Just as with any other accused, I don’t believe what I did was wrong and I don’t feel the punishment will be just. Eternity is long, especially if your prison will be one of sensory deprivation.”
“So how did you come to Earth?”
“Ah, good question. The bloodline had thinned, over time. Power made Adolphus a lunatic, and I don’t enjoy the company of lunatics. Alfred was a good man, and I expected him to bring Alpha Four back to what it should be. However, when Richard and the rest were being exiled and Alfred chose to go with them, I chose to go with him.”
“Adolphus let you go?”
“He had no choice.”
“I can believe that and can’t argue with either your assessment of good old Kitler or Alfred. So Alfred knows about you?”
Algar shook his head. “No. Only the actual ruler knows. Alfred was named for me,” he added with a touch of pride. “But he doesn’t know that, either. It was his grandfather’s wish, as a way of thanking me and keeping me tied to the bloodline. However, fond as I am of my namesake, once here on Earth, it was apparent that Richard was the true leader. As you’ve said more than once, Richard led the people’s hearts and minds. And now Paul does. Though your husband is far more of a king than he would ever want to admit. But until he is king, he won’t know about me.”
“So, you’re also like Santa Claus and see us while we’re sleeping and know when we’re awake?” Contemplated how likely it was that Algar had his own porn channels and they consisted of everyone, all the time. Wondered if I’d ever be able to have sex again. Considered that Algar was basically a hottie and figured I’d find the will to go on and let Jeff keep on giving me the Orgasm Buffet on a regular basis, hunky voyeur or no hunky voyeur. Hey, girls like the bad boys, after all.
“Yes, I can.” He grinned. “I don’t watch you having sex. That pastime got boring a millennium ago. A-Cs aren’t that inventive and humans are worse.”
So much for that fantasy. Ah, well, probably better all the way around. If Algar was telling the truth, which I had no real way of knowing. “Wow, considering what’s out there, I’m sort of surprised to hear that.”
He shrugged. “Trust me. It gets old when it’s always the same old things. And it’s always the same old things. But you all keep on enjoying the same old things, so I can understand why you keep on doing them. Now, you have some grand rescue or something to get back to. Don’t let me detain you.”
“Wait a minute. You’re just shoving us out? How do you know we’re not going to run and share that you’re here?”
“We won’t,” White said quietly. “And Algar knows this.”
“Why won’t we? Who knows besides you and Paul?”
“Gladys. And only Gladys.”
“Hard to keep the Head of Security out of the know,” Algar added. “On this world, anyway. On Alpha Four ‘because I’m the king and I said so’ worked pretty well.”
“Yeah, humans are a lot less willing to not ask the big questions than A-Cs, I guess. But this means that if Gladys knows then Al Dejahl knows.”
White shook his head. “We can’t actually share the information, knowingly or unknowingly, unless we’re in his presence. Algar has . . . ways of preventing it.”
“Memory wipe kind of ways?”
Algar shook his head. “Not a wipe. Similar to how the A-Cs use the gases natural to Earth to manipulate human memories. I can just do it to anyone and don’t need to use anything else beyond what’s inside me. I don’t do it often. It’s part of my agreement.”
“The agreement that prevents us from sharing that Algar is here,” White added.
“Makes sense.” How we could share something if Algar was as powerful as he seemed was a question I didn’t want to ask, lest it had somehow never occurred to anyone else, Algar in particular. “So, why won’t you help us?” I asked our personal god in the machine instead.
“You have a superconsciousness hanging around and you have to ask me that?”
“Yeah, I do. ACE was created and programmed. The way he was created, he’s close to a god. You’re not a god.”
Algar snapped his fingers and he and I were somewhere else. In fact, we were out in the middle of space, in a bubble. “If I take away the bubble that’s protecting us, you die and I don’t. Tell me I’m not a god now.”
I was scared, but a different kind of scared than I’d been in the water. I was the kind of scared that did for me what most fear did for me—it pissed me the hell off.
“Screw you. You’re stronger than me, more powerful than me, but you’re not a god. Gods create and protect, they don’t just destroy.”
Algar snapped his fingers and we were back with the others. I got the impression they weren’t even aware we’d been away. “You’re right,” Algar said, as if we hadn’t moved. “If I did what you wanted me to, though, then I’d move that much closer to god status. Maybe not in your eyes, but in the eyes of most.”
Considered all that I’d just learned, including the fact that Algar was a little bit of a jerk. Maybe more than a little bit. “This isn’t about us as much as it’s about you. You don’t want to do anything too showy because if you do, they’ll find you.”
He jerked. “What do you mean?”
“You’re hiding out. If you helped us, really helped us, that would send up a flare to the people hunting you down. They’d come and take you, and if you could fight them, you’d have done that already, meaning either they’re stronger than you or there are just so many more of them that you don’t stand a chance against them. That’s why you aren’t helping us beyond doing something that everyone but, what, three people thinks is being done by regular old A-Cs. You’re hiding in plain sight, in that sense.”
He smiled slowly. “Of all of the cute little apes who’ve made good on this planet, I can say with confidence that you’re my favorite.”