To go alone, but not downcast, as if at that very moment an archangel had placed her in a harness and pulled her on to pursue her only closest blood-bond of deep affection, though with the humble desire to be forgiven; he — why not? — would demand from her a thousand apologies — great! fair enough! and finally, Doña Telma was willing to kneel before him, if necessary …
She announced her plans to her servants. She would be away from Parras for a few weeks. Vacation with a plot (not to be revealed). As for instructions: nothing unusual, the daily chores, for which — listen up! — she’d pay double. Better yet: triple: if they both remained in the house at all times. An interval propitious for runaway love and with the boon of an abundance of room. For they were so young … The possibility … yes or no? Whatever happened would be history’s redoubt that Doña Telma would hold, even so, in light regard … to desire their understanding now and in the thereafter … Don’t worry. You can stay away for as long as you like, the man said, who, needless to say, rubbed his hands with glee. If his sweetheart followed his lead, God willing! and so on.
18
As soon as Demetrio walked away, a bouquet of lilies — given to him at the last minute by Doña Zulema — in one hand and his money-filled suitcase in the other, he felt awful. Glances and giggles surrounded him. It was his implausible height, like a walking beanpole, as well as his seditious shirt and those schoolboy trousers … It was his ridiculous composure … It was — how could it be? and the more the town’s malice grew, the shorter the big guy made his stride. His arrival at the trysting bench and from there his shout for Renata to come out and meet him would be a genuine spectacle for the critical gawkers. Increased surveillance and a crescendo of laughter would subsequently affect his sweetheart much more than him; such was his supposition, so he made a full stop, sat down on the first bench he came to in the main plaza (the central and grandiose plaza, and the only one); disheartened, wishing to hide, he decided not to find out what was going on just a little ways away; yes, as bad as it seemed, he considered giving up, postponing the visit till the following day and going first to Monclova to buy some clothes that fit, something more presentable, because in Sacramento you could probably find nothing but cowboy pants. Hence a whole day wasted going there and back. His course of action was clear. He had only to take a quick look at himself … How embarrassing … Especially because he had noticed nothing upon leaving Parras. Nobody had poked fun at him during the trip … Nonetheless — here it was! a gathering scandal that he alone could stanch … The problems were the trousers, the bright glimpses of sock, less noticeable was the shirt’s roominess. In any case, he turned upon himself the most severe self-criticism and — what could he do! He’d have to return to Doña Zulema’s house. An unpleasant retreat: ceaseless ugly jeers — was he required to ask for forgiveness? From anyone in particular? Sorry, sir, sorry, ma’am — nobody? That is, nobody confronted him up close, just as nobody approached him as he left for Monclova early the next morning … Jeers from afar, but a nuisance nonetheless … True, he was no longer carrying the bouquet of lilies, only the vexing valise. Perhaps the fault-finding multitudes believed that he wouldn’t show his face there again, but …
A radical difference.
Extravagance on a Thursday afternoon.
Elegance can be intimidating if viewed in detail. The outfit as well as the overall effect, the heat notwithstanding; hence, quite conspicuous, for nobody in Sacramento ever dressed like that.
Demetrio went irresolutely toward his destination, but weak thoughts arose, one by one. To begin with, he had to make several stops. He placed the bouquet of lilies and the suitcase down in the dust of the street so he could remove a white handkerchief from the outside pocket of his jacket and delicately wipe off trickles of sweat: face, neck, and hands, and this thankless task awakened doubts, one of which was whether or not he should present himself sweaty to Renata — how sweaty were the hairs on his chest … covered though they were? Very, because his personal rivulet was tickling him under there. Even his hair, so well groomed, would soon come undone: irremediably dissolute head, deserving of some distant chortle that he may hear later … nor did he have a comb handy to put the humid chaos to rights … and his elegant appearance (in principle) was getting complicated … But he could not put off meeting his sweetheart another day. We will see, therefore, his stubborn lunacy, his audacity in the face of the worst possible censure. In his defense a great excuse he hoped he would not need to assemble on the spur of the moment. Anyway, he was already fleshing it out. The idea was that elegance was a pretense in a village where it was as uncommon as a swanky new car. And he reached the trysting bench and did not sit down. His (sweaty) elegance precluded him from hurling even one cry into the air, not so much as a whistle, much less shouting out the name of his beloved and telling her, moreover, that he had arrived on a whim. To wait, then, standing up: obstinate, tall, silent, flamboyant (he had to be). It was five in the afternoon and there in the constricted space of the stationery store Demetrio descried Renata’s subtle figure: she was conducting business; likewise, the buxom figure of her mother, who was moving her lips — uncontrollably? Was she speaking … or was it all just futile action? Renata abruptly stepped out into the street. She was not gussied up, and one could surmise her astonishment from her somewhat stalking step. She drew nearer and — the last straw! words scattered on the ground, her words, for after glancing at him fleetingly, she lowered her head and:
“I’m very happy you’ve come, but I can’t see you now. I am not presentable. Come tomorrow at the same time, if you can.”
Once this blarney was over, she turned on her heel and ran away. Her mother was waiting with her hands on her waist as if to say: Well done! He was left standing with outstretched arms: the bouquet of lilies: void, useless, tomorrow another one. Bah! the amorous proposal snapped back as if it had been stretched out too far, and now, yes, the discordant giggles from afar embellished the retreat of the gallant, whose dandyism had done him no good. Laughter like barbs. Each step a gasp. Shame flaming from the lilies he still carried. As for the suitcase, what more can be said about it. Of course, the suitor longed to hide the bouquet under his jacket, but that would embarrass him even more. Circular then spiraling resilience. He refused to rid himself of that pleasant prodigy (throwing it — where?) because it would be proof of a frustration that tomorrow, at five in the afternoon, would be turned on its head, and, with a sharp pang, he wondered if the bouquet, especially because his aunt had given it to him, had brought him bad luck. When he arrived, she hugged him. She said nothing. She divined the course of events (rejection resulting from the surprise) and … A cry, meek, from her — of course! while he, with a knot in his throat, let her caress his disheveled head. Interior scene, so warm, in the kitchen rather than the grocery store, where the señora prepared café con leche; there was also a basket full of rolls, those familiar conchas, plomos, and pelonas for him to savor slowly. Bites as pauses. Words, all difficult and somewhat virile, rows of sweet relief. There must have been few: his: so-called sputum; though hers …