“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he says, shifting away from me.
I turn to face him and stare at the blood seeping through his sleeve. “You’re bleeding!”
“That happens when you get shot,” he says. He tries to smile and fails magnificently, the grin faltering into a grimace of pain.
“We need to get you medical help.”
“There are people worse off right now,” he says. “Let’s find your mom and Dante.”
I start to protest, but he pushes past me toward the cell block.
There’s no guard stationed outside. The hair prickles along my scalp like a biological alarm, but the sound of Dante’s voice turns my panic into curiosity even as ice fills my veins. I press against the wall and listen, hoping to understand why he’s here instead of fighting with the rest of Kincaid’s men.
“Meria, I can’t change what they did to you,” he says.
“Don’t pretend to care, Dante. They didn’t take my memories. I know you left me. Left us.”
“I am sorry,” he says.
“Meria might have been once, too. But I don’t care now,” she responds. “Surely you have more important things to worry about than the next prisoner Kincaid is going to execute.”
“I won’t let that happen.”
“Why? I’d kill you if it weren’t for these bars,” she says.
“Would you?”
My mother lets loose a hollow laugh that’s nothing like the bell-like laugh I remember from my childhood. “I’m not Meria. No matter how much you want me to be. No matter how much she wants me to be. I am not your friend or your lover.”
“That doesn’t change anything for me,” he says.
His shoes click against the floor and I suck in a breath, sure I’m about to be caught. Instead a lock snaps open.
“What are you doing?” Meria asks in a suspicious tone.
“I’m letting you go,” he says.
I have to clap my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming.
“You want me to prove I’ll kill you?” she says, and I hear the smile in her voice.
“I’m drugging you first,” he says.
“This doesn’t change anything,” she warns him.
“That’s not why I’m doing it. Some things don’t change no matter what’s happened,” he says. “Even things that fade with time and distance aren’t ever really lost.”
Her shrieks grate on my ears and I know what he’s done before I hear her body hit the floor. This is my only chance to stop him. I take a deep breath and round the corner. Erik stands silently behind me.
“Ad,” Dante says in surprise. He’s hovering over her body. She looks like she’s sleeping—or worse. Dante looks from me to Erik, his hand running through his hair as he takes in our sudden appearance. “Erik—are you okay?”
“Fine,” Erik mutters.
“What are you doing?” I demand, unable to dismiss what he’s done to her.
“It’s not what it looks like.”
“It looks like you drugged her and are planning to drag her into the desert and leave her,” I say.
“Okay, then it’s exactly what it looks like,” he says, a note of confusion in his voice.
“I heard it all,” I say. Only some of her words stung, but I still feel their vibration on my skin. She isn’t my mother, I remind myself. “You can’t let her go. For Arras’s sake, it’s a war zone out there.”
“Which makes it my only chance to get her out without suspicion. I never should have brought her here. Once Kincaid returns he’ll blame her for this attack.”
“She wants to kill you,” I remind him, slowing down my words. “She wants to kill me.”
“I know.”
“And you’re okay with that?” I ask him.
“I would prefer she didn’t want to kill us,” he says. “Adelice, you don’t understand.”
“I’m trying to,” I say.
“Kincaid has humored me by keeping her here, but after a raid like this there’s no way he’ll keep harboring her.”
“Why does Kincaid care?” I ask. “He can’t supply the precious energy to keep the cell electrocuted anymore? He needs it to put on his sordid plays and watch his films? Even if you drop her off hours from here, sooner or later someone will kill her.
“Why won’t you save her?” I demand. “Alter her back—fix her.”
“You can’t patch in someone else’s soul,” Dante says, his fingers circling his temples. He leans against the disarmed bars that once held my mother captive.
“The Guild has the remains of her strand. They have the remains of all the Remnants’ strands. If we could get to them—”
“There isn’t time for that,” Dante interrupts me. “Whatever happens to her out there can’t be worse than what Kincaid will do to her.”
I touch one of the bars. It’s not dangerous now that the electricity is off. I need something tangible to hold on to. “What if she kills someone else? What then?”
“I can live with that,” he says.
“I can’t.”
“It’s not up to you. You think what the Guild did was bad, but…”
“But?” I press. “What will Kincaid do, make her into a doll to play with?”
“I wish it was something as nice as that,” he says.
“You brought us here. You told us Kincaid was our best option—”
“I told you Kincaid was your only option,” he corrects me. “You made a choice, and it brought you here.”
“You brought me here.” I step forward, wagging a finger at him.
“I had no other choice.”
“Really? Or was it simply to satisfy your curiosity?” I ask.
“Partially,” he admits. “But, Ad, things are happening. Kincaid is coming back. They have information.”
“Good.”
“I don’t think it is.” Dante hesitates. He stops and lifts my mother onto his shoulder. She hangs limp over him, like a rag doll on a child’s shoulder.
“And why are you telling me this now?” I demand.
“Because Cormac is after you, Adelice, and we don’t have time. We can’t stay here much longer.”
“But what about Jost?” I protest.
“We’ll wait for him, if he comes back with the others.”
“If?” I repeat in a hollow voice.
“When,” Dante says, moving past me toward the corridor. “I can’t explain now. You two need to see to that wound.”
“But I don’t—”
“You can do it.” Dante stops me. “Erik can help you. Tell no one, not even Jost, what you saw tonight.”
He doesn’t bother to wait for our promises.
THIRTY-THREE
WHEN WE PEEK OUT FROM THE BASEMENT, we find the halls quiet. Tattered tapestries hang precariously from the ceiling and the paneled walls are marred with tiny holes, but no one is in sight. In Erik’s quarters, I run the faucet until the water is warm, but when I reenter the bedroom, the harsh scent of whiskey prickles my nostrils.
He gestures to the bottle of liquor on the table.
“No, thanks,” I say with a shake of my head. “Should you be drinking?”
“Disinfecting,” he says as he pours some over his bloodied biceps, wincing as it hits his skin. He immediately covers it with the wet washcloth I’ve dropped on the bed.
“Should I lock this?” I cross to close the door, wanting to be helpful as much as I want to avoid looking at his wound.
“If the attack is over, security will do a sweep. Might as well leave it open or Kincaid’s goons will break it down.”
“I wish that made me feel better.” I force myself to go to him and tentatively lift the cloth to examine his wound. A blob of red blood oozes not far from his muscle.
“Flesh wound,” Erik says in a casual voice, but I catch him wince again as the air hits it.
“Is there a bullet in there?” My words are strangled with some unrecognizable emotion. I want to cry and kiss him at the same time.