When she arrived at the household—no, home—the front door opened a crack. Nina stood in the coatroom, arms folded across her chest. She had been waiting. Vanja felt her face break into a smile. Nina smiled back, at first warily, then broadly.
“You’re staying,” she said when Vanja reached the door.
Something in Vanja’s belly clenched hard and then relaxed. She nodded.
SIXDAY
Vanja sat at her desk wrapped in the duvet. She finished her last report, in which she noted that the citizens of Amatka had expressed no need for new hygiene products, with two exceptions: a hypoallergenic laundry detergent and a mild antidandruff hair soap. She ended the report with her resignation.
She looked at the report she had just written, stood up, took a turn around the room, and sat back down. The duvet bunched up under her thighs. There wasn’t really anything else to say. She stared at her notes from the meeting with Ulla. They were unusable. They should be scrapped immediately. Instead, she put them at the very back of the NOTES folder. She gathered up the pages of the official report and popped them into a brown envelope. It wasn’t even midday. She stared blankly at the envelope until the lumpy duvet under her legs brought her back, and she had to stand up and smooth it out. A small noise made her turn around. Tora and Ida stood in the doorway, watching her. It was impossible to tell how long they’d been standing there. Tora’s shirt had food stains. Ida’s mouth hung open.
Vanja attempted a smile. “Hello.”
Without a word, they turned and ran.
Ivar was the one who had fetched the children. Vanja heard him pottering about in the kitchen, talking to them. Ulla was down there as well; the sound of her sharp voice carried up through the stairwell, but Vanja couldn’t hear the actual words. Vanja waited until Ulla had shuffled back up to her own room, then went downstairs.
Ivar was frying something or other he’d found in the fridge. The children sat at the table, whispering to each other. They fell silent when Vanja entered.
Ivar turned halfway around. “I heard you’re staying.”
“Yes.” Vanja hesitated in the doorway. She couldn’t tell what Ivar was thinking.
Ivar turned back to the frying pan and nodded. “That’s good. Nina will be happy.”
“Oh. Good.” Vanja stayed in the doorway.
Tora and Ida resumed their whispering.
“Could you make some coffee,” Ivar said after a while.
They ate in silence. Vanja washed the dishes, then went upstairs. After some hesitation, she knocked on Ulla’s door. This time, it took some time before Ulla opened. She looked tired and worn; her usual smile was gone.
“What?” she said.
“I need to ask you a question,” Vanja said. “Can I come in?”
“Certainly.” Ulla took a couple of steps back.
Inside, Vanja lowered her voice to a whisper. “Were you at the lake last night?”
Ulla raised an eyebrow. “Where does this come from?”
“I was there,” Vanja said.
Ulla’s smile returned. “Went down to the lake at night, did we?”
“I thought I saw someone who looked like you.”
“I heard you were drinking.”
“I was.”
Ulla nodded. “So you went out to the lake, alone, drunk. What did you see exactly?”
“Um,” Vanja said. “I saw someone… sticking a pipe into the water… and blowing into it. There was a noise.”
“You realize how all this sounds, don’t you?” Ulla smiled at her.
Vanja held her gaze. “I think that was you.”
“And why would I be doing that?”
“Someone came from across the lake.”
Ulla’s eyes brightened for a moment. “Is that so?”
“Who was it?”
For a moment, Ulla looked as if she was about to say something. Then she shook her head. “You’re very curious, my dear. And very reckless. I think you need to ask yourself what you’re doing.”
“So there was someone.”
“I think maybe you need to stay sober.” Ulla winked at her. “Now off you go.”
Vanja returned to her room and stayed there until Nina knocked on the door to ask for help with dinner. Ulla was at the kitchen table, talking to the children. She grinned broadly at Vanja.
Someone eventually showed up to deliver a new bed. Vanja slept in her own room that night. Nina shared her bed with one of the girls. Vanja woke up several times, fumbling in vain for Nina’s warmth. The new bed had a sharp factory smell. She rested her nose on the sleeve of her sleep shirt and breathed in the scent it had absorbed from Nina. It helped, a little.
SEVENDAY
Vanja accompanied Nina and Ivar to the leisure center. Nina and Ivar joined a ring dance with the girls. Before long, half of the people in there were dancing in a long, winding line, led by a man in a wheelchair who zigzagged his way through the hall. Those who weren’t dancing clapped their hands to the rhythm and sang along in the chorus. Vanja stood at the back wall, behind the last row of benches. The din of the crowd was an assault on her ears. When someone suddenly tapped her shoulder, she jumped. It was Evgen. He leaned in close and cupped his hand around her ear. “It’s nice to bump into you. How are you?”
“I’m fine, actually,” Vanja yelled back. Raising her voice hurt her throat a little.
“And your research?”
“Well, yes. That’s fine, too, but I’m quitting.”
Evgen frowned.
“I mean, I’m quitting and I’m staying here,” Vanja said. “I got a job.”
“You got what?” Evgen leaned in closer.
“A job! At the commune office! Administration!”
Evgen put a hand on Vanja’s arm and steered her closer to the exit, where the noise was less deafening. “Did you say you were going to do admin work?”
“In the reception. Sorting papers and filing and such.”
Evgen squeezed his lips together and looked intently at her. Then he came closer again, his face turned toward the dancers so that he seemed to be commenting on the party. “Listen. What you said, the last time you came to the library.”
Vanja nodded and smiled at the room.
“Maybe I can show you something. If you help me in return.”
“With what?”
“You said it yourself. You’ll be doing admin.”
Evgen shifted uncomfortably where he stood and rubbed his hands together. “All right,” he said after a moment’s silence. “When it gets dark, go down to the lake. I’ll meet you there.”
“Tonight?”
“Tonight. When everyone’s busy.” He abruptly turned and left.
Vanja lingered. She even joined in a couple of ring dances. When dinner was served on the long tables, she made her excuses to Nina. She was tired, too many people. Nina smiled, gave her a long kiss, and left with her daughters to sit at one of the tables. The eldest girl looked over her shoulder at Vanja, and for the first time she took her mother’s hand.
The remains of Old Amatka stood to the south, at the waterline: parts of the central building jutted out of the black ice, an angular husk that for some reason hadn’t been dismantled.
Evgen had met her by the beach, and they had walked off toward the ruin in silence. Just outside the building, he stopped short. He was buttoned into an enormous overcoat with a thick collar. His face was framed by a brown hat with earflaps. Vanja looked around. He might of course have led her down here to cajole a confession out of her.