“They don’t get to wear pretty clothes and have babies,” Amber said.
“Sometimes that may not be seen as an advantage,” Jenny said with a smile. “Besides, there is a hell of a lot more to being a woman.”
“I know. But it doesn’t explain why I feel more complete as a girl, does it?”
“No. Does your Granny know?”
“Yes, but she really doesn’t like it. I make her remember her daughter, and I don’t like upsetting her. I think it is as you guessed. She misses my mother, so some day I might fill that hole.”
They left the attic, but for the next few days, whenever her grandmother was not around, Amber was a constant feature. She would even go to bed as a girl, and Jenny came to realise that here was a young person with a potentially serious identity problem.
The summer holidays arrived in no time. Jenny relaxed and found Amber a delightfully cheerful person to have around. As Andrew, he had been very solemn and rather dull, but Amber was always smiling and giggling. Rhona found it quite hard, but allowed them the freedom to do what they wanted.
They would spend hours together, either walking the dog, or going on trips. Sometimes Rhona would come too, but Jenny noticed that the older woman was tiring very easily these days.
Rhona wanted Andrew, and she made her feelings very plain. But the elderly lady really was not well.
“Rhona, have you seen the doctor?” Jenny asked.
“Not yet. I’m just tired. I don’t want to waste the man’s time.”
Jenny thought that there could well be something seriously wrong, but couldn’t persuade her to go to the doctor.
“Andrew, can you see what is wrong with your granny?” she asked, when the pair was alone.
Andrew closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment.
“Her heart has a funny beat.”
Jenny frowned, managing to persuade Rhona to go to the doctor. Or rather, she put her in her car and told her she was going.
Andrew had been right.
Rhona was diagnosed with having an irregular heartbeat, and this was indicative of more serious heart problems.
Rhona was cheerful, and took her medication, never complaining, but becoming less mobile and doing less around the home.
It fell to Jenny to take Amber into Oxford on shopping trips, and although not dripping with money, she would buy the girl some clothes and shoes. On one of these trips, she was in a shoe shop and was watching Amber walk up and down in an almost grown-up pair of shoes with slightly higher heels. She was wearing a dark skirt and a pretty, pale blue, short sleeve blouse.
“They grow up very quickly, don’t they?” said a male voice next to her.
She turned and saw a young man in a smart suit.
“I’m sorry?”
“I didn’t mean to startle you, but your daughter is roughly the same age as mine. I can’t believe how quickly they grow up.”
“Oh!” said Jenny, lost for words. It was very rare that men actually took the trouble to speak to her, so she was completely wrong footed. A very quick thinking Amber saved her.
“Mummy, I like these, can I have them please?” she said to a completely astounded Jenny.
“Yes, darling, of course,” she said, and allowed Amber to drag her away. The man wasn’t giving in.
“Charlotte. Do you like the ones that this little girl is wearing?” he said.
A petite, dark-haired girl came over and looked at Amber’s selection.
“They’re quite nice,” she admitted, shyly.
“I’m Amber,” said Amber, with no shyness at all.
“This is Charlotte and I’m Gareth Lowe,” said the man.
“I’m Jenny Hutchins,” said Jenny, still in a complete daze, and he shook her hand.
“No Mr Hutchins?” asked Gareth.
“What?”
He gently tapped her left ring finger.
“Oh, no. He, um, he died, out in the Far East. We were due to get married, but I didn’t realise I was expecting until after he was killed,” Jenny said, the lies flowing forth like a fountain.
However, Amber, with that delightful smile, came in with a comment that almost knocked Jenny over.
“Mummy says that I might have been born on the wrong side of the blanket, but at least I was conceived in love,” she said, and Gareth, somewhat surprised by the mature nature of the comment, burst out laughing.
“Good for you. The petty mindedness of some of our establishment makes me sick. My wife died in a car crash four years ago, and I stay single to spite her bloody mother,” he said, as the assistant returned with some shoes for Charlotte.
The two girls sat next to each other as Charlotte tried them on. They were chatting away, and Jenny realised that Amber had no social problems at all. She couldn’t concentrate as Gareth was asking her something.
“Do you live near Oxford?”
“Sorry?”
“I asked; do you live near Oxford?”
“Not far - Wallingford.”
“Really? How wonderful, I’ve just moved back to Blighty to live in Abingdon. I’m in the RAF at the base there.”
“Oh, a pilot?”
“Yes. But transports, not fighters, I’m afraid.”
“My brother was a pilot. He was killed in 1943. He was a bit older than me,” Jenny said.
“I was too young to fight. Just as well I suppose.”
“So, are you on your own?” she asked.
“Yup, and it has its moments. Charlotte is going to start at the Manor in Abingdon. My mother lives in the granny flat, so if I can’t get home, she is wonderful and looks after her. Dad died last year, and so we give the old thing something to live for. How about you?”
“We live with Amber’s granny. But we are looking at new schools for this September.”
Charlotte decided that the shoes would do, and told her father so.
They paid for the girls’ shoes, and Jenny went to leave.
“Jenny?” he said.
“Yes?”
“Look, I know this is rather irregular, but how about us all going for some tea or something?” he asked. Jenny was about to smile and refuse but something in his eyes made her hesitate.
“Look, I have no hidden agenda, I promise. Besides, Charlotte hasn’t got many friends yet in this area, and she and your Amber seem to have hit it off really well.”
Jenny was on the point of refusing when Amber came up to her.
“I think I have chosen. Let’s go for tea, Mummy, please?” she said, with a huge smile.
Jenny knew immediately what she was talking about, and that they may have to look for girls’ schools for the new term. Amber was here to stay.
Thus, with her back against the wall, she accepted the inevitable and was whisked by the three others to a recently opened teashop that also did milk shakes and ice cream.
Jenny listened in horror as she heard Amber describe Singapore to Charlotte, and she realised that the girl was tapping directly into her memories.
“Of course, Mummy’s parents died before I came along, so I never knew them. Her dad was killed in a Jap POW camp, and her mummy died in an accident. She was going to marry my Dad, but he went and died before the wedding. I wasn’t really planned for, but she loves me really. She is very clever, as she went to Oxford and is a teacher.”
“How did you manage Oxford with a child?” Gareth asked. Jenny looked daggers at Amber who simply smiled sweetly back at her.
“Amber was looked after by her grandmother, so it made life easy.” Jenny said, quite truthfully.
“So your own parents died, and it seems you really have had a tough time.”
Jenny smiled and said nothing, wondering if all these lies were going to catch up with her eventually.
“I’ve spent most of my time in Germany and northern Europe. It is quite a shock to the system to come back here. I never thought I’d be a single parent,” he told her.
“Does the RAF help?”
“Oh it’s pretty good, that’s why I have a home posting. They know my mother lives here, so it was a compassionate move really. I don’t want Charlie to board, she is my life now,” he said, smiling at his daughter.