The pail was heavy with milk and we carried it together back across the field, our red fingers touching on the cold metal handle. Tanya hung the pail on the handlebars of the bike and we walked back to the village.
‘You’re looking much healthier,’ she said, appraising me as we walked.
I smiled. ‘I feel great.’
The sun had risen above the tops of the trees and the unruffled surface of the pond reflected its dazzling rays. The early morning mist had begun to dissolve but, in the shade, the grass was still white with dew.
‘And yet…?’ She hesitated.
We stopped on the road. I looked down into the village, which was beginning to stir with life. Across the glittering pond, I could see the low cottage. Vassily had come out of the door and stood stretching. He lit a cigarette and a pale puff of smoke rose slowly into the air above him.
‘And yet you still dream,’ Tanya said. ‘You have nose bleeds and migraines. If an engine misfires in the village, you turn rigid. You refuse to mention the past◦– as if nothing ever happened to you before you came here. Don’t you think it would be better for you to talk about it?’
For some moments I did not reply. I watched Vassily smoking his cigarette. I felt my chest tighten and shivered involuntarily. Icy tendrils coiled about my insides. Tanya reached out and laid one of her hands on my arm.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘I’ve upset you.’
I shook my head. ‘No,’ I said. ‘It’s fine.’ I took care to speak calmly, to hide my fear, but still my voice was thin and pitched too high. I tried to smile. ‘It’s better, I think, just to forget about it all.’
I could see the concern in Tanya’s eyes.
The past was like a movement in the deep shadows of night. I turned from it. Curled within the bright sunlight of the present I could ignore it. I longed for Vassily’s company; for the comfort he was able to give me. His laughter and stories, the craft he was beginning to teach me. I walked on towards him and Tanya followed.
‘Come with me,’ Vassily had said one morning. ‘I am going to teach you how to work amber. Amber will heal you. Amber has always been used for medicine, you see, comrade, my friend, as far back as ancient Rome. You can wear it for things like jaundice and goitre, and it will heal them. It’s also good for the kidneys and the heart.’
In the village workshop he showed me the basics of shaping amber on an old lathe, taught me how it is polished, hardened and coloured. Told me tales and taught me about the folklore connected to it.
‘Amber powder mixed with honey is a traditional recipe,’ he told me, ‘for the eyes and the ears, or taken with warm water it’s good for healing the stomach. There is even one I heard of where amber powder is mixed with vodka◦– and this, my friend,’ he gripped my shoulder and grinned, ‘this would improve your sexual potency, yes? Give you some drive, eh?’ And he laughed. ‘Ah, but you are not needing it. Blyad! How happy I am for you, my little comrade. I brought you from the hospital and you were a shadow, empty, and now look at you!’
Chapter 32
Moving out from the darkness of the tree canopy in Vingis Park, I followed Kolya back on to the footbridge. He walked quickly, the soles of his shoes clicking against the cracked concrete. The metal box was gripped tightly beneath his arm. He seemed excited to have it. There was something about his story that did not quite add up. I wondered for one moment whether he had been lying to me; whether he had invented the story. Quickly, though, I dismissed this idea. There was no reason not to believe him.
As we approached the city side of the bridge a figure emerged from the shadows. Kolya’s pace faltered. I had been gazing down at my feet as I walked, lost in thought, and almost walked into Kolya’s back. The dark figure stopped at the end of the bridge and leant against the metal railings. Kolya inhaled audibly; a sudden, sharp intake of breath.
‘Zdrastvuy, Kolya,’ Kirov said calmly. His tone was so pleasant, I half expected him to hold out his hand for Kolya to shake. He nodded to me, and smiled. He took a long, slow drag on his cigarette and exhaled the smoke into the darkness. I stood rooted to the spot. He seemed to have stepped straight out of my thoughts, a phantasm. I felt bile rise in the back of my throat. My breath caught and my muscles tensed with fury.
Kolya backed away, clutching the metal box to his chest with both hands.
‘Kirov,’ he muttered.
‘It’s been a while,’ Kirov said, moving towards us slowly. ‘What is it, eight years now, Kolya?’
‘You bastard,’ Kolya snarled.
I noticed Kolya’s hand moving beneath the metal box, feeling slowly inside his jacket, his eyes not leaving Kirov. He pulled out the pistol. Clumsily, releasing the safety catch, he pointed it at Kirov’s chest. His hand trembled so much he had difficulty keeping the Makarov level. Kirov glanced down at the short barrel and his lips twisted into a sardonic grin. He stepped forward, closer to Kolya.
‘Oh, come on,’ he said. ‘You haven’t got the nerve, Kolya. You were a coward then and you still are.’
A bead of perspiration rolled down Kolya’s forehead. He wiped it away with the back of his arm, holding the box tightly.
Kirov turned his attention from Kolya, nonchalantly ignoring the pistol directed at him. He tossed the stub of his cigarette over the rail of the bridge. I watched as the bright point of light twirled down through the darkness to the water below.
‘He has told you about the bracelet, then?’ he said. ‘He has told you what your friend Vassily forgot to tell you?’
‘I’ve told him how you sold the girl to your friends in KHAD,’ Kolya spat at him. ‘How your deal cost us half the platoon.’
Kirov did not look at Kolya. He gazed intently at me. His eyes were the colour of steel. Ice blue.
‘It wasn’t like that, Antanas,’ he said. ‘After all these years you have a right to know.’
He came closer. His eyes did not leave mine for a moment. He did not blink. I felt a shiver of disgust run down my spine. Kolya advanced, suddenly, waving the pistol, pressing it up against Kirov’s chest. Kirov brushed him aside angrily.
‘Get out of the way, you useless little shit,’ he barked. ‘You see,’ he said, his eyes turning back to me, ‘you didn’t know. You didn’t see his face. You didn’t know how much he longed for this one. From the time Hashim put him on the scent of it he was like a dog at a bone. He was like a bitch on heat. He would not let it go.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘I’m talking about Vassily. Oh, I know, he has been a real friend to you, yes?’ Kirov sneered. ‘You can’t imagine Vassily might have done something to hurt you? It was him, you stupid fucker. It was Vassily.’
Feebly Kolya once more tried to step forwards, but Kirov spun around angrily, his hand balling into a fist, his lips a tight line. Kolya shrank back.
‘We slipped away in Ghazis, Vassily and me and this little shit.’ He waved his hand dismissively in the direction of Kolya. ‘Oh yes, it was all a set-up, right from the start. As soon as Hashim told Vassily about the bracelet, he was obsessed. He had to have it. He kept saying, “If this is what I think it is, it must be worth a fortune.” But it wasn’t just the money with him, he knew about the bracelet, had read about it before. He went on and on. “Just think, Nero wore it! Tamerlane’s wife!” And his eyes would light up and he would almost salivate. It was the same time as KHAD were after that little girl of yours. Vassily had never liked her. She was trouble. Why couldn’t you just fuck one of the whores like any normal person? When they explained how he could pay for the bracelet, that it would just take the “accidental” shooting of Zena in the confusion, he agreed straight off. The generals and Political Officers in Jalalabad were so keen to lick the arses of local sympathisers that it didn’t take much persuading to send the Agitprop Brigade out and make sure she was with them.