‘Buddy, I couldn’t believe it, they had Jim Beam. Down in one, you game?’
He was and they tossed them back, Porter waited a moment and then gave a shudder, the bourbon hit his stomach like a train, an express. His eyes watered, Wallace laughed, said:
‘Gets you where you live, am I right?’
Porter didn’t know was it the alcohol or exhaustion but he liked this guy, liked him a lot, asked:
‘So what exactly are you supposed to be doing here, besides getting the locals bombed on bourbon.’
He wished he hadn’t used the term bombed with an anti-terrorist expert but it was late. If Wallace had caught it, he let it slide, said:
‘Well, I’m supposed to get you guys up to speed on how to spot suspects, how to respond, and Jesus H. Christ, god forbid, we get a situation, what the emergency measures are.’
Porter considered this, then asked:
‘Off the top of your head, what’s the best advice you can give?’
Wallace didn’t hesitate, said:
‘Shoot the motherfuckers.’
Outside the pub, Wallace said:
‘Man, I could eat me a leg of steer, anyplace open?’
Porter suggested the fish and chipper, the Chinese, and then said:
‘ ’Course, the new tradition, after you sink a fair few, is to get a kebab and come tomorrow, you’ll wish you were dead.’
Wallace was delighted, offered to treat Porter to one, but Porter cried off, said:
‘I better get home. Thanks for the company, I enjoyed it.’
Wallace gave him an odd look, then:
‘I think you mean it, buddy. You’re okay, fellah. I heard you were a pillow biter, and I don’t have any beef with that, but I wasn’t planning on hooking up with you, so yeah, it was good. You take real good care now, we got us some bad hornbres to catch.’
As Porter walked home, the booze giving him a lift, he tried to remember if Wallace was from Texas or New York. He was certainly from another planet.
This is how we get in trouble, we talk.
9
For the next week, the cops did what they do best… knocked on doors, the old reliable, and checked out various tips that were phoned in. Brant had been moved out of Intensive Care and was now in a private room with two armed policemen outside. The doctors were stunned at his rate of recovery. He was on his feet by the second day but eerily silent. The Super had sent a flunkey to wish him a speedy recovery, Brant told him to get fucked. The flunkey didn’t report these exact words. He knew that in the Met, they did shoot the messenger, he simply said that Brant was healing rapidly.
The Super sighed.
Roberts, with WPC Andrews along, went to find Brant’s current snitch, a colourful individual named Caz, who wore garish shirts and, oddly enough, had never done any jail time. He was known to be a consummate dancer, though how this enriched his profession of snitching was up for debate. He carried a switchblade and was reputed to be very fast with said instrument.
Caz had met Roberts before, but was not happy to see yet another cop, especially a woman. They found him in The Warrington Arms, drinking a shandy. He looked at Roberts, ignoring Andrews, whined:
‘Who da bitch?’
He was from Croydon but affected to be from Salvador, Equador, Argentina, depending on the day of the week. Roberts sat in right beside Caz, Andrews opposite, and he stomped down hard on Caz’s right foot, saying:
‘She’s a police person. Don’t call her that again… claro, amigo? ’
Caz yelped, that was his best foot for the rumba. He said:
‘How I can operate as undercover for you, you keep exposing me to new coppers?’
The barman was heading their way but Roberts waved him off, said to Caz:
‘Drop the accent and the attitude. You fuck with that lady, you fuck with me, got it?’
Caz got it.
Andrews had never met a snitch before, and Roberts had told her that they were the poisoned life blood of policing, but you had to treat them with a delicate balance of intimidation and flattery. She had no idea of how this could work.
Mostly, it was the intimidation.
Roberts had added, when they least expect it, you bung them a few quid. Andrews was horrified, asked:
‘The Met pays them?’
Roberts let out a breath, said:
‘No, we pay them out of petty cash, off the books.’
Andrews was still of the belief that policing was a higher calling and that a certain code of morals should be followed. She said:
‘But isn’t that wrong?’
Roberts looked at her, wondering how long before she grew up, said:
‘It’s wrong if we don’t get the information.’
She watched Caz. He seemed like a totally unreliable sort. She wouldn’t believe a word he said and… him calling her a bitch, there was no cause for that. Roberts was asking:
‘So, my dancing ponce, who shot our sergeant?’
Saw Caz’s eyes shift and knew, bingo, the bastard knew. Roberts was astonished, he knew Caz had access to information that others could only dream of but this fast? He kept his face in neutral as Caz extended his sympathy, saying how much he respected the sergeant and Roberts let him ramble on for a few minutes, then snarled:
‘I asked you a question?’
Caz looked at Andrews, a lecherous smile building, asked:
‘There is a reward, no, I mean, a shot policeman, this is major event.’
Roberts had to bite down on his desire to reach over and throttle the snitch. He said:
‘Oh yeah. You help bring in a cop shooter, you’re talking major recompense.’
Caz had been promised rewards before and usually ended up with a sore jaw after Brant had dished out his form of compensation. Caz sat back, said:
‘I thought so, so how about we have a little good faith cash up front?’
Roberts sighed, Jesus, he was tired, tired of having to deal with scum, said:
‘You give me the name, you’ll be paid. You know how it works.’
Caz weighed his options then on impulse, gave it up, said:
‘Terry Dunne, he’s the one did the shooting.’
Andrews was amazed, could it be so easy, you went to a snitch and he solved your case.
Roberts asked:
‘And this piece of work, where do we find him?’
Caz laughed, not a pretty sound, more like a cackle, asked:
‘Am I to do all your work, Chief Inspector? He’s local, but that’s all I know.’
Roberts mobile shrilled and he stood up, said:
‘I’ll take this outside.’
Andrews wasn’t wild about being left alone with the low-life and was even more bothered when Caz gave her his full-wattage smile, a blend of malice and lust, he asked:
‘You like dancing, chiquita?’
She wasn’t going to get into a conversation with this creep, snapped:
‘No.’
He loved it, leaned over, his hand poised to touch hers, said:
‘You have not been with the maestro, I meet you Saturday night, I take you the Crystal, show you some steps, and after, ah… after, mi bonita, I show you some moves you never forget.’
Andrews stomped his left foot, hard, and he reeled back, his face contorted in agony and rage, spat:
‘Cunt… puta, you are a lesbian, no?’
Roberts was back and seeing Caz’s pain, smiled, said:
‘I see you guys hit it off.’
Andrews said:
‘I showed him some moves.’
Roberts liked it, a lot, said:
‘Let’s move. See if Mr Dunne is currently available.’
Caz, massaging his left foot, demanded:
‘What about my money?’
Roberts was already moving, said:
‘Cheque’s already in the mail.’
Caz swore for the hundredth time. He was definitely getting into a new line of work, and the puta, he’d find a way to settle with her. Roberts he couldn’t touch but her, the bitch, what was she? A constable… ha… a nothing and he felt better at the various ways he could fuck with her.