Within the thick, overlapped entrance, a welcome warmth was to be found. The tent, perhaps three paces by four in area, of a height great enough for the males to stand erect across most of it, made of tan leather upon the outside, was white-furred within, both walls and floor, and was lit by a number of small boxes with flames. At the far side of the tent and to the left of the opening flap, stood two knee-high boxes of thin, light metal, each filled with dull black stones which glowed red with the heat of the fire within them. Some of the black stones had begun turning gray, and the pleasurable warmth came from these two sources. I pushed back the hood of my fur body covering and began removing the devices called gloves so that I might open the body covering, and Ceralt looked up at me from where he sat to the left, back toward the far wall.
“It should not have taken you so long to see to the lanthay,” he informed me, something of Lialt’s disapproval in his tone as well. “This cold is not the sort one stays out in unnecessarily, and I do not wish to see you fall ill. Remove the furs and your boots, and come here.”
Not knowing what reply might be made, I made none, doing no more than glancing toward Telion, who sat cross-legged to the right, oiling his sword, before doing as Ceralt had bid. My body and leg furs I left beside the flap before going to Ceralt, and walking was much the easier without the weight of the leg furs upon my feet. The feel of the fur beneath the hand which had raised me erect spoke of lanthay as its source, showing that those of the villages used more of the beasts than their backs. The thought of doing the same with gandod was amusing, yet the amusement turned quickly to startlement when Ceralt reached up without warning and threw me to the fur beside him.
“You have, as yet, no true knowledge of this cold,” said he, taking my right foot in both of his hands and beginning to rub it. Strangely, at first I could not feel the rubbing, and then the feeling returned with a rush of stabbing needles, as though I had knelt upon the foot too long, and I moved uncomfortably in his grip, unable to extricate the foot.
“Even through the boots, your feet will become frost-bitten if you stand in the snow too long,” said Ceralt, finishing with the right foot and then taking the left. “In this weather, you are to do what you must as quickly as possible, and return to the warmth as soon as may be. Do you understand?”
As he then had my left foot, I was able to do no more than nod in response to his question. The brisk rubbing not only awakened painful life in my foot, but echoed and reinforced the ache in my thigh. I showed none of the pain I felt, yet it was a near thing. Beads of moisture grew upon my forehead, and I had grasped the lanthay fur in both fists before I was finally released.
“You may now cook and serve our meal,” Ceralt allowed, leaning back in the fur to reach to the place where he had put his sword. It was not the same sword which had hung upon the wall of his dwelling, yet his gentle touch upon the weapon clearly showed his fondness for it. He took as well a soft cloth and a small pot of oil, and I raised myself slowly from the furs and went to the packs of gear which had been placed at the back of the tent. With no eyes upon me, I was able to wipe the sweat away, then search for the meat which was to be our provender. Mid-fey meal had been cooked, dry meat, much like leather, and had I had the choice, I would have done better without.
Cooking the meat above the hot, black stones was not like cooking upon a fire, and Lialt had long since returned before the provender was edible to the males. Ceralt divided the meat in three, and I felt the heavy touch of annoyance upon realizing that I was again to share his; the need for obedience was a constantly grating noose about the neck of my dignity and clan position. War leaders of the Midanna were not raised to be slave-women to males.
Telion accepted his provender with no more than a grunt of pleasure, yet Lialt eyed me in a strange manner before I turned from him. I knew not what the strangeness meant, and had taken two steps from him when suddenly he spoke.
“Woman, remove your leggings,” said he, a snap of annoyance to his tone. “I have no doubt that you said not a word!”
I halted in the middle of the lanthay fur, making no attempt to turn toward him for I felt I now knew what his look had meant, yet Ceralt raised his head from the meat and sent an inquiring gaze toward his brother. Lialt made a clear sound of annoyance, and shifted where he sat.
“Have you not seen how she favors her left leg?” he demanded of the others, confirming my suspicions. “The foolish wench has undoubtedly strained the healing wounds, yet stubbornly refuses to speak of it! Does she seek to cripple herself permanently?”
Ceralt had straightened where he sat, anger in his light eyes, and he threw the hair back from those eyes with a shake of his head, fastening his gaze upon me.
“It appears that she is again ruled by that misbegotten pride her kind seem to favor,” he replied to Lialt, yet his words were also for me. “I will see that pride forgotten by her, to be replaced with common sense, else I shall see to its removal myself. For this, Jalav, you have my word. Remove the leggings and return to Lialt.”
His anger was familiar, yet my own anger was a full match to it. I stood in the lanthay fur, my hands turned to fists, and looked down into the blaze of his eyes.
“The insolence of males!” I hissed, fury growing high within me. “Is a sense of dignity to be yours alone, jealously denied to any who cannot also be called male? In what manner are you harmed when I choose not to speak of what pain I may feel? That Mida knows of my pain is sufficient, for it is she who brings healing, not Lialt and his salves and potions! I am a Hosta warrior, a war leader of Mida, and my pride in such is beyond your ability to take! You may draw your blade and take my life, male, yet my dignity is mine!”
Ceralt seemed taken by frowning surprise at my outburst, yet by the time my words were complete, he no longer remained seated as he had been. He stood before me, tall and strong, and the feel of his fingers in my arms was much like the grasp of metal.
“Why must you be so ignorant a savage?” he demanded, shaking me at the urging of his anger. “Why do you not yet know that never would I raise a weapon to harm you? Why have you not yet realized that your precious Mida moved not a single finger in your defense when you faced those other savage wenches, yet Lialt strove through light and darkness, forgoing his sleep and sustenance, straining his abilities to the limit, to coax forth that tiny spark of life which was all that remained to you?” His hands ceased their shaking, his eyes filled with pain, and his voice, which had been so full of anger, became no more than a hoarse whisper. “And when will you become as other women, sharing your pain with me so that I may soothe it? When will you show a need for me, a need beyond that of the furs? Your sense of dignity disallows such things, and I am to accept it?” His voice choked then, and the desolation in his eyes was swept away by the shaking of his head, as though he shook sleep from him. “It is idle to discuss such things, idle even to think upon them. Remove your leggings and go to Lialt, and no more backtalk from you.”
He thrust me back toward Lialt then, with little anger, yet his strength was such that I nearly tripped in the lanthay fur from the thrust. He returned to the place he had chosen to sit amid silence from the other males, and I, too, could think of no further words. When speaking with Midanna, it was ever clear that those who spoke all spoke of the same matter, yet speech with males was a time of confusion, for males were wont to speak of things far distant from that which a warrior expected. From pain to pride was an easy step, yet how was one to go from pain to need? As I slowly removed the leg coverings from me, the constant confusion I felt among males swelled greatly, attempting to swirl my mind away with lack of understanding. How was a warrior to deal with males, when their very thoughts were beyond all rational bounds?