The cut-up meat lay clear to my vision, and Ceralt’s words were equally as clear. Should the male be displeased with me, he might easily deny me sustenance, disallow my feeding as easily as he formerly demanded it. My insides churned at the thought, increasing my hunger, yet my anger would not be denied.
“Were Jalav able to hunt, she would feed,” said I, moving my eyes from Ceralt’s. “Should the need arise, she is well able to do without.”
Ceralt’s hand came to my chin, and again I was made to look upon him. “Jalav shall not hunt,” said he, the words clearly pronounced. “Jalav is female, and shall eat only if it pleases me to feed her. Should I not be pleased to do so, Jalav shall have no choice save to do without. A woman eats only at the pleasure of men. Hear my words and recall them clearly, wench. I shall now feed you for it pleases me to do so.”
He then took a bit of meat and placed it between my teeth, watching closely to see that I chewed and swallowed as he wished. The meat was cold and overdone, slick with fat which had congealed, and surely was the taste of it more bitter than any meat ever given me. I fed by the will of Ceralt, my hunger seen to by that which he had no desire for, given a male’s leavings and only because the act gave him pleasure. My fists curled tight as each bit of meat was placed between my teeth, and rage grew higher in me at what the male had done. I, a war leader of the Hosta, had been put to her belly before a male and made to feed from his hand! Not through her will did she feed but through his, and the thought nearly drove me insane! Mida, hear me now! When is my captivity to be at an end?!
Mida heard not, and Ceralt would not see me free from him till the last of the meat was consumed. I was achingly aware of the presence of the other males, and when I was at last allowed to move from beside Ceralt, I could not fail to see how they looked upon me with amusement. I moved just past Lialt and Telion, lying again upon the fur with Lialt to my right, Telion to my left, and Ceralt beyond my feet, and Lialt’s chuckle was clear even though I did not look upon him.
“I feel the wench now has a deeper understanding of her place among men,” said he to Ceralt, his voice heavy with approval. “Such understanding is necessary for every female.”
“Some do not see it so and must be taught,” agreed Ceralt, a satisfied sound to him. I grasped the lanthay fur beneath my hands and cheek and ground my teeth in silence.
“A woman’s anger is understandable as well,” said Telion quietly. “Should the wench be one who has never sought the presence of a man, should she be as wild and as free as the urchins of a city’s poorest district, she will undoubtedly be hurt and bewildered when chosen by men to serve them, yet she should not be. A wench who is sweet-bodied and fair of face will ever find herself sought by men, and there is little she may do save learn to serve them well.”
“She must learn there is no denying men’s desires,” said Ceralt, seemingly agreeing with Telion’s words. “Rage as she might, men will take her and keep her, using her as they will. Turn upon your back, woman, so that men may look upon you to their pleasure.”
I had no will to turn as Ceralt commanded, yet there was naught I might do other than obey. I turned to my back, sending my eyes to the tent roof so that I need not look upon the males, yet I knew that their eyes were directly upon me.
“See how nicely her hip turns,” said Lialt, a thickness to his voice. “Full, firm thighs above rounded calves, heavy breasts to cushion a man, slender arms to hold him close. A woman without doubt, Ceralt. A woman of great desire.”
“Aye,” said Telion, his voice much like that of Lialt. “Long black hair in which a man may twist his fingers as he takes her. Use of a short-haired woman is not the same.”
Their need was as clear in their voices as it was in the smell of them, and I brought my arm to cover my eyes as I choked out, “I am a warrior of Mida, a war leader of the Hosta!” The fierce whisper was to have been for my ears alone, an aid against these males and their insistences, however all heard and all laughed softly.
“She seeks to cling to her former beliefs,” said Ceralt, less amusement than satisfaction to his tone. “She has begun to know the falsity of her former position, has begun to feel her vulnerability before men, and desperately strives to regain her former viewpoint. See how tightly her thighs are clasped, a foolish female attempt to keep men from her. We have been told we have a warrior before us, brothers. Who would be the first to show the warrior her womanhood?”
“I would be pleased to do so,” breathed Lialt from my left, so close that his hand caressed my calf and moved upward to my thigh. I cried out in misery and attempted to force him from my side, rising half upward from his lanthay fur to grapple with him, yet ,there was no besting the strength of a male. Gently yet irresistibly I was returned to my back, my arms held above my head with my wrists pinioned in one of Lialt’s hands, and then he began to search for my heat. Through my distress, I was determined to give no response to him, sure that my body would feel no desire for one such as he, yet his hand forced its way between my thighs and his lips bent low to taste of my breasts, and I could not deny the demands he put to me. In but a few reckid, sobbing and mewling, I writhed beneath him, aching for the feel of his manhood, begging to be taken with every motion of my body. Lialt, a male, knelt above me, his fingers and tongue and lips taking all he desired, his eyes bright with the knowledge that I could no longer deny him, and I trembled with the memory of how I had taunted him. I was now his to do with as he pleased, and my needs would slay me were he pleased to leave me unused. I need not have feared, however, for my legs were suddenly thrust apart and Lialt was deep within me, taking me as completely as though I were slave to him.
When Lialt’s need had been seen to, I lay upon my side in the dimness of the tent, my knees drawn up to my belly, my face buried in my arms. Great shame had been given to me that darkness, yet it was a shame borne of my own failures, my own crippling needs. To defy Lialt in future would be idle, for it was easily seen that he need do no more than touch me to bring me groveling to his feet. I wished desperately to speak with Mida and ask her what might be done to lift the curse from my body, yet she had said she would not walk my dreams again, and there was none else to whom I might speak.
A hand touched my arm, slowly, caressingly, and in my startlement my head flew up from my arms. Lialt, I knew, sat and shared near-renth with Ceralt, and this was Telion who now sat beside me. His light eyes, shadowed, looked down upon me, yet even shadowed there was no mistaking his intent.
“Telion, no!” I whispered, seeking to back from him in the fur. His hand moved quickly to grasp my hair, and then he had taken me in his arms.
“Jalav, this is a woman’s purpose,” he murmured, his hands moving about me. “Do you feel no desire for me?”
My breasts were hard against the red-gold hair of his chest, his manhood was a rock in my thigh, and to my horror, my heat had again begun to rise.
“Telion, I wish to be left to my misery,” I whispered hoarsely, looking up into his broad, male face. “Release me, for I indeed have no desire for you.”
“A wench would do well to learn not to lie,” chuckled Telion, stroking my hair. “For lying, you must now be punished.”
And then his hand went to me, and I gasped and stiffened in his arms at the touch. The moisture flowed from me as though I were just emerged from a stream, and I could not keep from crying out again and again. This the males found highly amusing, for Telion would not let me rest. Over and again he caused me to sob and cry out, digging at his arms with my fingernails, my body a desire-racked, flailing thing whipping about beside him. When I screamed and threw myself upon him, he grinningly held me still and demanded to know if I yet felt desire for him. I wept then and screamed again and the male at last saw fit to ease my agony. Much pleasure did this Telion bring me, yet he stayed till his own pleasure had been taken in full measure. When he left me, I knew well that I had been used, and my mind was too beclouded to think.