“The coals will soon be ready to cook upon,” he said, poking at the black stones with a rod of metal. “Remove the trappings of a man, and prepare yourself for woman’s work.”
I hesitated no more than a moment, then began removing furs and leather. Though the heat from the black stones had not yet reached all corners of the enlarged tent, the warmth of the shelter made coverings unnecessary after the cold of the open. As I removed all coverings from my body, I made careful note that such coverings were unnecessary, yet the shame I felt was not much lessened. Ceralt wore all leathers and furs save body furs, yet I had been commanded to bare myself. He kept his eyes from me till the last of my leather lay upon the lanthay fur, then he turned from the dying flames to examine me closely.
“Much the better,” he murmured, a faint smile upon his face. “There are few things more beautiful in a man’s eyes than the soft body of his woman. Come closer to me, wench.”
I had no wish to approach him, yet how might I have refused? He put aside the metal rod as I neared, and drew me into his arms.
“You are truly lovely,” he said, looking down into my eyes. “Each fey you grow to be more of a woman and therefore lovelier. I look forward to the time you are all woman.” He then lowered his head and touched his lips to mine, and the scent of him and his leathers brought a dizziness upon me. I was held so gently, so tenderly, and then his lips were gone and soft laughter came from him.
“More than satisfactory,” he murmured, his hands astroke upon my hair. “Go now and fold your clothing and put it to the side, then prepare the meal.”
His arms were removed from about me, yet a faint, pleasant tingling remained in my flesh. I brushed my hair back from my arms, more than aware of the bareness of my body, then went to see to the garments I had removed. Ceralt had turned again to the black stones, and as I knelt beside my coverings and folded them, my eyes strayed to the large male who stood so unconcernedly near. A strange feeling had come upon me as he had held me in his arms, a feeling far from the desire he had ever bred in me, yet somehow also linked with it. I knew not what the feeling meant, yet the thought of it caused me to shiver where I knelt. The shame I had felt at his command to disrobe was gone, replaced with the desire to feel his eyes upon me once again. A Midanna cared little for garments, using only a clan covering upon her womanhood to bespeak her pride in her clan, and never had I cared whether the eyes of males were upon me or not. Now, through some sorcery on Ceralt’s part, I longed to show him my body and feel his approval. What had the male done to me, that I should feel so? I shuddered again, holding firmly to the thought that I was a warrior of Mida, and rose to take my garments to the side of the tent. It would be necessary to resist the doings of the male, yet I knew not which doings should most be resisted. The question would require deep consideration, and I would spend whatever time I might upon it.
Ceralt left the tent briefly, then he and the others returned by the time the provender was prepared. Each male had paused by the entrance to the tent before coming well within, and each had wiped the bottoms of his leg furs so that the snow upon them would not be brought in with their steps. The lanthay fur upon the tent floor was thick, although patches of wetness made walking and sitting uncomfortable. Lialt and Telion had come to inspect the progress of the provender, each also looking upon me with a wide grin, and then they had gone to sit at their ease and pass about a skin of near-renth. They spoke quietly to one another of trails and lanthay and snow, and when the meat had been divided by Ceralt, they accepted their portions with eagerness. I had also roasted fellin tubers to add to the meat, and with the tubers divided among them, I attempted to withdraw to the back of the tent. My middle had been knotting since first I had looked upon the raw and bloody meat to be roasted, yet Ceralt would not leave me be.
“Come and kneel beside me, satya,” he called, gesturing to the fur beside his left leg. I knew not by what name he now called me, yet it made little difference. By any name I was his to command, and the thought turned my body stiff as I knelt beside him. His dagger had cut a piece of the meat I had roasted, and it was this piece which he took between his fingers.
“Eat this,” he directed, holding the piece to my lips, his eyes clearly upon me. I thought then that he was again of a mind to see me fed, yet after the first piece had gone down my throat, no others were forthcoming. He returned without comment to his own feeding, cutting piece after piece, and my empty belly rumbled so loudly that all within the tent must have heard: I glanced at the other males, who seemed completely immersed in the business of swallowing, then licked my lips and looked back toward Ceralt. I could not bring myself to ask to be fed no matter how great my hunger, yet the decision was taken from me. Ceralt raised his eyes to see my face, and a smile grew as he looked at me.
“A thought has come to me,” he said, his smile growing broader as I watched a bite of meat to his mouth. “Earlier, I told you that you must cool my anger before you might be fed, yet it now seems likely that you have no knowledge of how this might be done. I think it best that I instruct you in the method I prefer. ”
I shook my head, wishing none of his instruction, and his smile turned to broad grin and laughter.
“Heed me now, satya,” he chuckled, moving his eating board to the right upon his lap. “Place your cheek there, upon my thigh, and soon, perhaps, we may see you fed.”
In great misery, I lay my face upon him, knowing that shame and humiliation were again to come to me. Ceralt had removed the covering from his broad chest, yet the leather leg covering remained to bring a cool touch to my cheek. I knelt beside him, bent at the waist to lay my face upon his thigh, and his hand came to stroke my hair where it lay against him.
“It is clear that you feel great hunger,” he said, “therefore you must show regret for the actions which caused your punishment. Put your lips to my leg and say, ‘I should not have left you unattended, Ceralt. I ask your forgiveness’.”
He sat silent after these words, awaiting my response, but my response was not immediately forthcoming. Thought of saying such words choked me voiceless, yet Ceralt had not said I might refuse them. Sooner would I have seen my body consume itself in its need, yet I had been commanded to speak. Again I thought of the possibility of being forsworn, although such a shame was beyond my ability to conceive of. I struggled in the silence about me, yet never have I been able to win a struggle with my sense of right. My fist clenched where it lay upon Ceralt’s thigh, and I turned my face so that I might press my lips to his leg.
“I should not have left you unattended,” I whispered, unable to look upon the face of the male. “I ask your forgiveness.”
Surely did I expect great laughter to come from him then, yet no more than his hand came, to caress my hair once more.
“Forgiveness shall ever be yours, satya,” he whispered, putting his lips to my hair. “You have only to ask, and it will gladly be granted you.”
In great surprise, I raised my eyes to his, finding no meaning in his words nor in the look in his eyes. Why had he not laughed at my humiliation, and why had he spoken as he had? And why, in the name of Mida, did I feel none of the humiliation I had thought to feel? The words forced from me had given pleasure to Ceralt, much as though the ache of a wound had been eased, yet a male’s pleasure was ever a warrior’s shame. This was ever so! Why, then, was there no shame within me for having spoken so? I whimpered with the torture of these thoughts, yet Ceralt saw and heard not, for he was busily cutting upon what meat was left.
“Now you may eat in a proper manner,” he said, a lightness having entered his voice. “Sit up where you are and I shall feed you.”