I raised myself erect as I had been and accepted what meat he gave me, yet my mind whirled in confusion as I gazed upon him. I felt the need to question what had occurred between us, yet I also felt a great reluctance to face what answers there might be. I had many times told Ceralt that I might never be his, yet there had been a time when I had wished this might not be so. Now, as I looked upon the dark of his skin, the merriment in his eyes, the joy in his movements, the strength of his body, I knew that this wish had returned to plague me. It could not be, it could never be, yet the Ceralt of old had returned as well, and my desire for him had increased tenfold. To be held by him, to feel the warmth of his lips upon mine, these were sufficient to drive all other thoughts and desires from me, yet I remained, as always, bound to Mida. And Ceralt, himself, was destined to die! Was this the sole manner in which I might be freed from him? Is his coming death in truth your doing, Mida? Have you consigned him to the final ending so that your warrior might continue to move slowly in your service? I spoke so to Mida deep in my heart, yet she continued to withhold all answers from me.
When the last of the provender was within me, Ceralt took me in his arms and held me upon his lap as though I were a child. I had attempted to harden my heart toward the male, knowing that Mida had refused him to me, yet the touch of his hands upon my arms sent all thoughts of hardness flying from me. I wished only to be held by him, yet the sparkle in his eyes gave hint of some definite purpose even before he stroked my side and spoke.
“Satya, there is now another thing I shall teach you,” he said, grinning. “As I have allowed you to satisfy your hunger, you shall show your gratitude by saying, ‘Ceralt, I thank you for having fed me.’ Then you are to raise your lips to mine.”
I squirmed in his grasp, knowing that this time he would find amusement in my words, yet I was unable to refuse. Seeing my agitation he laughed gently and held me closer.
“The words will come more easily when you have said them enough times,” he assured me. “As you shall say them each time you are fed, in a matter of feyd you will no longer hesitate. Come now. Let me hear them.”
“Ceralt, I thank you for having fed me,” I stumbled, feeling my cheeks blaze up at the grin he showed. I lay in his arms, naked and helpless, and this he knew full well.
“An excellent beginning,” he pronounced, his light eyes filled with laughter. “Now offer me your lips.”
Slowly I raised my lips to his, cursing my captivity, yet the strength he showed taking my kiss gave proof to the true nature of my capture. My body had been chained to his, his to do with as he pleased, mine to do only as he allowed. I submerged myself in the glory of his lips, aching deep inside as my need began to grow, yet his lips left mine sooner than I had expected, too soon to build the full blaze of desire.
“It is now time for a woman’s true service to begin,” Ceralt murmured, his eyes lazily upon me. “Telion must leave soon to share the watch of the camp, therefore you are to offer him your use before he departs. Go to him quickly, for time grows short.”
I was then released from Ceralt’s arms and placed upon the lanthay fur before him, there to sit and contain my anger and confusion as best I might. It was Ceralt I desired, not Telion, yet it was Telion to whom I had been sent. My hair lay half beneath my legs, causing a painful pull at my scalp, a thing which gave me no aid with my humor. Ceralt lay at his ease in the lanthay fur, his eyes calm, his face unconcerned, doing no more than awaiting obedience. Once he had said that I must ask to be kept as his alone, yet how might a warrior of Mida speak such words to a male’? It was Mida to whom I belonged, Ceralt being no more than the male who had captured me, no more than temporary possessor of my sworn word. Males knew naught of the ways of Midanna, and this lack would be their downfall.
Angrily taking my eyes from Ceralt, I rose to my feet and looked about the tent. Lialt lay upon the lanthay fur not far from me, as bare-chested as Ceralt, yet his attention had been captured by a leather bound sheaf of white material, a thing containing black strokes which seemed to hold meaning for males. This sheaf lay beneath a flame-within-a-box, the light shed from the box falling upon the black strokes, and Lialt kept his eyes upon them, to all appearances far from the tent in which he lay. Telion stood to the rear of the tent, beside the metal container upon which I had cooked, his arms folded across his broad chest, his eyes held by the glow to be seen beneath the now gray stones. He alone wore all of his leathers, and the distraction of the two males brought me a good deal of annoyance. So usual a thing had my shaming by Ceralt become, that those others within the shelter no longer took note of it.
Telion seemed unaware of my approach to him, and as I halted beside his left arm, I studied the male who called himself warrior. Despite his capture and use by the Hosta, Telion had often shown feelings for warriors unmatched by any males I had heretofore met. He alone had shown no upset at my prowess with weapons, and he alone had kept whatever word he had given to me. It was true that he had joined with Ceralt and others in the capture of the Hosta, yet I had heard him say that he had done what was necessary to possess Larid, she whom he called the wench of his heart. Though I knew not what to make of the male, it often seemed that had all males been as Telion was, warriors might more easily find a point of truce with them. As I stood immersed in thoughts such as these, Telion grew aware of my presence and turned his eyes from the glow to regard me.
“What is it you wish, girl?” he asked, the words soft so as not to give insult. His arms remained folded across his chest, and again I thought that his leg furs gave unneeded additional height to his form. His light eyes continued to regard me as I attempted to recapture the manner in which I had once looked upon males, yet the effort was beyond me. A Midanna’s desire for males would always be with me, yet I had learned to know their unbridled strength and be wary of it.
“Have you come to me merely to stand mutely and stare?” he asked again, amusement entering his tone and eyes. “It is ever a pleasure to look upon you, wench, yet if you have come to speak with me, I would have you do so.”
He stood patiently awaiting what words I would utter, seeing something of the difficulty those words bred within me. Ceralt had commanded that I offer myself to him, and this was the difficulty that I faced. Not that Telion was to have me, but that the having would be by Ceralt’s will and not mine, was what grated upon my pride. Too, the feelings engendered by my lack of clothing underscored the place Ceralt wished me to have: not that of a warrior seeking pleasure of her own, but of a mere female, begging the gift of manhood for her femaleness. My hands came together about my life sign, and my eyes sought the lanthay fur beneath my feet, the better to avoid Telion’s calm gaze. Undoubtedly I would have stood so till I was forsworn, had Telion’s hand not come to my chin to raise my face.
“I believe I know the purpose of your presence,” he murmured, his strong fingers seeing that my eyes looked up to his. “Say the words, satya, and do not count the shame. Soon all sense of shame will be gone from you.”
There was little comfort in such assurance, indeed the thought brought bitter laughter. What other thing than shame might a warrior find among males, even with such males as Telion? I released my life sign and stood somewhat straighter, yet still found the need to look upward toward Telion.
“I have come to ask that I be allowed to serve you,” I forced myself to say, knowing that the choice of words would please Ceralt, and perhaps Telion as well. “Should you wish it, my use is yours.”
Telion continued to hold my face in his hand, and a faint smile touched his lips. “I am able to find no fault with the words,” he murmured, “yet the feelings behind them seem less amenable than they should be. I will, however, respond only to the words, for a man without his woman is a man in great need.”