There is one point brought out in Linda’s case history that deserves further mention. It will be noted that she especially stressed two facets of her first anal intercourse experience: (1) she was greatly affected by the idea of his introducing his phallus into her anus, and (2) she was similarly affected by the idea of exciting herself by manually rubbing his testicles against her vulva. In both cases she clearly distinguished between the excitement generated by the act and the excitement produced by thinking about the act.
As Alfred C. Kinsey and his associates noted, most women are not especially stimulated by especially sexual thoughts, at least not to the extent that males are affected. However, they also note that a small portion of the women they studied “were psychologically stimulated by a greater variety of factors, and more in tensely stimulated than any of the males in the sample. Their responses had been more immediate, they had responded more frequently, and they had responded to the point of orgasm with frequencies that had far exceeded those known for any male. A few of the females were regularly being stimulated by psychological factors to the point of orgasm, and this almost never happens among any of the males.” (Kinsey et at, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, p. 688.) Linda is undoubtedly one of those women who show an extraordinarily high response to mental stimuli, as evidenced by her mention of the thoughts noted above.
Chapter Two
“How does a fellow get to be gay? I might not know all of the ways or the proper explanations, but I know of one way that’ll turn anybody gay and that’s to be married to a chick like Ellen. Yeah, Ellen, that’s the bitch’s name. I ought to know, because I was married to her for almost three years, and a hell of a marriage it was. Maybe I wouldn’t have made the mistake if I’d known more about women at the time that I married her, but I didn’t. Hell, she was the only woman I’d ever been to bed with more than once. I’d balled about four cunts before I met up with her but they were all one-night stands. Ellen, she seemed a little different and I guess I fell for her act.
“You know, people believe a lot of stuff about artists, about how we all don’t do much except slap paint on canvas and ball every babe in sight. Maybe that’s true for some artists, but I never knew one that it fitted. For me, anyway, after I’d been standing in front of an easel for five or six hours in a row, sweating my balls off and trying to figure out some way of getting what was in my head down onto canvas, I wasn’t ready for anything but a long time in the sack. And I do mean alone! I thought painting was damned hard work and I’ve never known a painter who didn’t agree with me on that, if on nothing else.
“I used to be a painter, you know. Maybe that’s what got Ellen interested in me in the first place. There were times when I suspected her of being in love with the idea of being married to a painter. I’d just had a show when I met her for the first time, and it turned out to be the last one I’d ever have. Nobody knew that at the time, though, least of all Ellen, and, while I got some pretty favorable comments after that first show, I couldn’t ever get it all back together again. I’m fairly well convinced that it was at least partly her fault. The way she nagged and prodded! Sure, I wanted to be a success as a painter, but, you know something? I think she wanted it even more! I’m certain that she’d have driven me into an insane asylum if I’d only have permitted her to do it. So long as it would have made her the wife of a prominent painter.
“The first time I ever saw her, at that first showing, she came on like a house afire. I’d never really had a girl come at me quite as strong as she did. She just broadsided me. Even if I’d wanted to get away from her, I doubt if I could have made it. Yeah, we wound up in bed together that night and did she ever lead me through the paces! All the girls I’d ever known, they were sort of shy and backward, especially when we got around to sex, and they’d act as though they weren’t quite sure whether they really wanted to go ahead with it or not.
“That wasn’t Ellen’s way at all! She virtually invited herself back to my studio after the show and, once we were inside, she just let down all the barriers. I’d barely even gotten the door closed and she was up against me, rubbing her knockers into my chest and feeling of my fly, trying to get her hand inside and on my cock. Naturally I didn’t resist very much and, almost before I knew what was happening, she had my cock out and was going down on me like I was the last man in the world! “That just about blew my mind, her eating me that way! I’d always been really wild about the idea of blow jobs, ever since I’d first heard about them, but I’d never before had a girl eat my dick. I’d stayed away from the gay side of things. I knew, of course, that there were guys around who’d go down on you but, at that time, I was all hung up on the idea of making it with girls. I just didn’t realize how good it can be, how natural and free it can be, with guys, you see. A lot of the time, when I was jerking off, I used to imagine that some really solid chick was kneeling there in front of me, just holding her mouth open and waiting while I jerked off and shot a big load of come into her mouth.
“I’ll have to give her credit. Ellen really knew how to eat dick! I haven’t seen many guys on the gay side who were any better at sticking a cock than that babe. But, I doubt if she did it because she liked it. I think she’d already figured out that there were some guys who could be handled if you sucked them off good, and she was always ready to do whatever had to be done to get her way. Of all the people I’ve ever known, I’d say that she was the most shameless about it. I used to argue with her about the cold, ruthless way she used people, but, after a while, I gave it up. I just couldn’t make her see that it was wrong. She really believed you know that everybody else was just there for her convenience.
‘Well, anyway, she sucked me off and did a damned good job of it that first time. After I’d popped my nuts and filled her mouth full of come, she was just getting warmed up. She swallowed it all, every drop of it, but she was just beginning. After she’d sucked me off that first time she got up and started undressing, slow and sexy, giving me this big buildup about how she’d wanted me for so long.
‘‘Yes, we’ll get undressed and then I’ll finally get my fill of cock,” she said. “I’ve never had my fill, not all I wanted, and I never saw a man with a prick like yours, Freddie. I’ve got a strong suspicion that you’re the man who’ll be able to fuck me until I can’t take it any more!”
“I couldn’t say a word. I just pulled my clothes off and leaped onto her right there on the floor of the studio, I’d never had a girl say things like, that to me before, and hearing them from her was like a breath of fresh air. I just crawled on and we really went to town.
“So hard, so big and strong,” she purred as she aimed my dick into the mouth of her cunt. “Just the sort of thing I’ve been looking for! Oh, Freddie, darling, you’re tearing my cunt apart!”
“After a minute it sort of bothered me, the way she kept saying the most outlandish things. I don’t have anything against profanity, of course, but it bothered me, even then, hearing her say things like that. She had a vocabulary like a truck driver when she wanted to use it, and she had this idea that a lot of vulgar language made sex a lot better. I’m not built that way. For some curious reason, I don’t mind talk like that at all when I’m with guys, but from girls? It doesn’t quite seem to fit.
“But I didn’t have time to think about that, not then. As soon as she got my prick inside her, she started screaming and heaving about. I wasn’t sure but what I was hurting her or something. It wasn’t anything like that. It was just her way of trying to convince me that I was really a masterful, overpoweringly successful lover. Ellen could certainly give a convincing demonstration of a passionate woman working her way to an orgasm, though I didn’t really realize that she was faking until almost a year after we were married. That first time, she really went out of her way and put on an outstanding performance. By the time I got off her I was convinced that I was the greatest lover in the world, even though I hadn’t had all that much experience at it.