“That’s the way it was-he picked me up about nine that Saturday morning and we drove way out into the back end of nowhere. He found a really secluded lane and we drove up it, then parked and got the blanket out. I was just wild for it.
Sitting there next to him had really gotten me turned on and I couldn’t wait to get started. He wanted me to strip for him and I did, though I thought that was’ really strange, undressing in front of a guy, especially with him being the same age as my daddy, almost. But it was also very exciting. Seeing his eyes light up when I pulled off the top and opened my bra- that was really great, seeing how he enjoyed looking at my breasts. And when I unzipped my jeans all the way, so he could see I wasn’t wearing any panties that was great too! His eyes just about raped me and I could feel that I was getting hotter and hotter.
“Now lie down and show’ me how you do it to yourself,” he said.
“At first I tried to pretend that I didn’t know what he was talking about but I could see I wasn’t convincing him so I went ahead and did it. He thought it was real groovy, the way I do it without moving much of anything, and it got him pretty turned on too. Then he started undressing and, when he pulled off his underwear and turned around so I could see his cock, I almost came just by looking at him! He’s hung like nobody I ever saw and it’s a lovely prickstraight and thick with a great, broad head on the end.
“What are you going to do?” I asked.
“I’m going to show you how a girl can have a good time and never get fucked,” he said. “I’m going to fuck you with my tongue!”
“Geez, that was out of sight! He got over me and ‘started nibbling around on my thighs. I was almost creaming even before he ever touched my snatch with his tongue. But when he slipped that tongue over my button, I just flipped right out! It ran all over me, the feeling from that contact, and before I knew it I was pushing his head between my ‘legs and fucking up to his mouth and then I was just coming from head to foot, literally. He really sucked me off, he did, and I thought it was going to last forever.
“Now you’re going to suck me off,” he said. “Take my cock in your mouth and lick it- you’ll love it!”
“You know something? He was right! It was the first time I’d ever gone down on a fellow but, my Lord, it was just out of sight, right from the moment when he peeled the ski back from the head and shoved his cock in my mouth. I didn’t know very much about sucking but he told me what to do and I did it. He asked me did ‘I want him to pull it out when he. started to come and I nodded ‘yes’ but when it happened, the sight of that big thing spewing cream out was just so fucking sexy I couldn’t help myself. I pulled him back and started licking him again, running my mouth own on his cock and sucking as hard as I could. I wanted to feel him shooting hot, thick, juicy come into me! “We met a couple of more times after that, usually on the weekend during the day, and we had a couple of pretty steamy love sessions in his office late in the afternoon when everyone else had gone home. He finger fucked me out of my mind, almost, and sucked me off too, on those occasions. I couldn’t keep my mouth off his cock. Feeling that big, hard, hot rod slide into my mouth was just the sexiest thing ever and I couldn’t get enough of it. I didn’t mind the taste of come a bit. In fact, after the first time, I sort of liked it and now I don’t think there’s anything better.
“On one of those Saturday meetings be told me that he’d just fucked Amy, his wife, before be left to pick me up. He hadn’t washed his cock off or anything, so it would still taste of cunt and fucking, and that got me so horny I tried giving him a blow job while we drove’ out to our parking place! I didn’t make it. He wouldn’t come while he was driving. But I really dug the taste of a cunty-flavored prick and, when we got there, I did myself while I sucked him off. What a blast that was!”
One frequently encounters cases in which one would like to interview not only the subject but’ her family as well. This desire is especially strong in studying the case of Terri H-, an attractive sixteen year old high school girl.
There is no doubt that Terri’s father, a prosperous contractor, wanted to provide well for his daughter. He could have sent her to an exclusive boarding school. Instead she chose to attend the ‘public ‘high school in her suburb, a school with a fine reputation. As’ we’ have already seen, the school’s outstanding record did not prevent one of its officials from effecting a liaison with the girl.
Madge, Terri’s stepmother, is an especially interesting figure. What about hen concern for the girl’s virginity? Was it a sincere concern? Or were there, perhaps, other and less creditable motives behind her curious actions? Possibly there was a latent homosexual attraction between the girl and her stepmother.
Terri herself admitted that she rather enjoyed Madge’s periodic checks to ascertain the continued existence of the hymeneal membrane. Moreover, one cannot help feeling dubious about the good intentions of a stepmother who teaches a girl how to masturbate. Possibly there was something of the sexual exhibitionist in Madge.
Lacking the opportunity to probe more deeply into the psychiatric makeup of the family, we must concentrate our attention upon Terri herself. As is so often the case, Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, provides the framework in which we can best understand Terri’s sexual development. Freud speaks of “the castration complex,” the discovery by little girls that they are not like little boys-specifically, they ‘lack the penis-and goes on to note, “very different is the effect of the castration complex on the girl She acknowledges the fact of her castration, the consequent superiority, of the male and her own inferiority, but she also rebels against these unpleasant facts. So, divided in her mind, she may follow one of three lines of development. The first leads to her turning her back on sexuality altogether. The budding, woman, frightened by the comparison of herself with boys, becomes dissatisfied with her clitoris and gives up her phallic activity and there with her sexuality in general and a considerable part of her masculine proclivities in other fields. If she pursues the second line, she clings in obstinate self-assertion to her threatened masculinity; the hope of getting a penis sometime is cherished to an incredibly late age and becomes the aim of her life, whilst the fantasy of really being a man, in spite of everything, often dominates long periods of her life. This ‘masculinity complex’ may also result in a manifestly homosexual object-choice.
Only if her development follows the third, very circuitous path does she arrive at the ‘ultimate normal feminine attitude in which she takes her father as love object, and thus arrives at the Oedipus complex in its feminine form. Thus, in women, that complex represents the final result of a lengthy process of development; castration does not destroy but rather creates it, and it escapes the strong hostile influences which, in men, tend to its destruction-in fact, only too often a woman never surmounts ‘it at all.” (Freud, “Female Sexuality,” reprinted in Sexuality and the Psychology of Love, pp.’ 198-9, Philip Rieff, editor) Terri obviously rejected the first of the three alternatives mentioned by Freud. That is, she emphatically did not turn away from her own sexuality.
However,” she seems to have vacillated between the second and the third choices. The second alternative would obviously lead to the formation of a homosexual personality. As we have seen, there is more than a hint of a homosexual attraction between Terri and her stepmother. As we shall see in a later portion of her case history, a similar attachment developed between her and Amy, the wife of the assistant principal already mentioned.
It is the relationship between Terri and the assistant principal, Mr.
Harvey-though they were extremely intimate, she never referred to him by his first name-which must occupy most of our attention. Terri has already mentioned a more than superficial similarity between Harvey and her father, a comparison which naturally brings to mind the implication of incest. We think it is very possible that this likeness between the two men bad a great deal to do with Terri’s enthusiastic response to his advances: in fact, it would not be too much to say that, in making love with Harvey, she was actually forming a close physical tie with her own father, at least on the symbolic level.