‘He’s a fan of the driver. I want him to be a fan of the father. Please, Kaye, humour me in this.’ His eyes suddenly held a mysteriously distant look. ‘It’s important.’
‘Of course,’ she said. ‘We’ll tell him together when the time comes.’
It was another reason for happiness. She hadn’t expected such insight from Jared.
As before, he fell asleep first-which must be natural, she realised, in a man who lived though his senses. She guessed that recent events had brought about the first hint of a change, and the discovery of his son had made him think seriously for the first time in his life. But he was still ruled by instinctive reactions.
And so am I, she mused. How many times have we made love? And did I take precautions? It never crossed my mind any more than it seems to have crossed his. And if I become pregnant again? Is that what I secretly want? Is it what he secretly wants? Is he hoping I won’t notice that we aren’t being careful?
A faint, daring smile illuminated her face.
Fine, she thought. Then I won’t notice.
And might it not be best like this? Perhaps there was something to be said for trusting Fate to show you the way.
On the journey home next day he could talk of nothing but how much he was looking forward to being with Mike in the school holidays.
A funfair had arrived in the local park and Jared seized his chance. An evening spent with thrill rides, dodgems, big wheel and rollercoaster was exactly what the two daredevils needed to bond with each other.
Sam and Ethel came too, but went off in a different direction.
‘The stalls are quite exciting enough for us,’ Ethel said. ‘See you later.’
Kaye never forgot that first ride on the rollercoaster-climbing slowly up into the sky, the moment at the very top with nothing between them and the heavens, then the headlong plunge. It was like her life now, she thought. Glorious heights, the descents, then climbing again, and finally coming to rest.
‘Again,’ Mike demanded when they landed.
‘Aren’t you scared?’ she demanded.
His puzzled look answered her. What on earth did ‘scared’ mean?
She went up three more times, then persuaded her crazy menfolk to get out and head for the hoopla stall. But after a few throws Mike was determined to return to the rollercoaster.
‘If you don’t like it, Mummy, you don’t need to come,’ he said kindly.
‘That’s very nice of you, darling.’
Suddenly Mike threw his arms around her. ‘I don’t want you to be scared or upset.’
‘As long as you’re safe I’ll be fine.’
They drew back, smiling into each other’s eyes in perfect understanding. For a moment they both forgot about Jared, watching them with the gentle, quizzical expression of a man who’d just made a stunning discovery.
The moment passed quickly. A boy of five could only allow himself to be soppy for a brief time. As if to make up for it, Mike seized Jared’s hand in both his, hauling him away. Jared threw Kaye a helpless look and allowed himself to be commandeered.
‘I’ll bet Jared was exactly like that at his age,’ Ethel said from behind Kaye, where she and Sam had just appeared.
‘I’m sure of it,’ Kaye agreed. ‘He’s still like it now.’
They had secured the front of the rollercoaster, and from this distance she could just see them as they peaked and began the drop, yelling with delight, Jared’s arms protectively around his son. As they slowed to a stop she could see an argument going on, which Jared ended by lifting Mike determinedly out.
‘Time for home,’ he said, when he’d greeted Sam and Ethel. ‘You may not be knackered, but I am. Off with you, you monster. I’m going to take your mother to dinner.’
Mike was offended-not at being called a monster, which he thought perfectly proper, but at the suggestion that he should go home. But Sam yawned dramatically, and gave Jared a thumbs-up sign which made Kaye chuckle.
‘Where are we having dinner?’ she asked as they wandered away.
‘My apartment,’ he said, slipping an arm around her shoulders. ‘It’s not far.’
She was fascinated to see where he lived now-if it was any different from before.
It was an expensive apartment, yet with the same feeling of austerity and aloneness.
There was one photograph on the sideboard that caught her attention. It showed a young woman in a bridal gown, gazing up into the eyes of her groom.
‘That’s my parents on their wedding day,’ Jared said, ‘taken just outside the church.’
‘So that’s where Mike gets his face from,’ she murmured. ‘No wonder you were so sure from the start.’
‘One look at him and I knew we were family,’ he agreed. ‘I only wish my parents were still alive to see him.’
She looked closer. The bride’s left hand was on her groom’s arm, giving Kaye a clear view of a large engagement ring.
‘They were so proud of that ring,’ Jared said, grinning. ‘My dad couldn’t really afford it, but he said nothing was too good for her. She told me it took him months to pay for it. When she died he took it off her finger, gave it to me, and told me to be very careful who I gave it to. “It’s got to be the right one,” he said, “and I want to look her over first.” Every time the press linked my name with a dolly girl he’d say, “You’re not getting daft ideas about that one, I hope?”’ He sighed, looking at her. ‘It’s a pity he died three years ago.’
She held her breath, wondering if his next words would be, He’d have liked you. But she was fated not to know. A knock at the door announced the arrival of supper.
‘I took the precaution of ordering from the take away down the street,’ he said.
The moment slipped past. If he’d been going to speak of marriage before, she knew he wouldn’t do it now. But he’d come so close, so soon. She would have to be content with that.
Talk turned to money. The lawyers had been in touch again, and Jared wanted to finalise the arrangements.
‘I’ve booked an appointment for us tomorrow, so that we can sign things,’ he said.
‘Really? Thanks for telling me.’
‘Well, you know me and my controlling nature. And this way you’re protected. If I vanish you can sue me for every penny.’
‘Must you talk about money?’ she complained.
‘You’re right. Other things are far more interesting.’
After that the meal was finished quickly, and there was the warmth, the darkness, and the sweet feeling of coming home.
At work Mr Vanner was pleased with her, the pay was good, and life slipped into a pleasant phase. Jared didn’t hint again at marriage, but he arranged for them to be together as often as possible, culminating in the British Grand Prix. Both Brent and Cannonball had built their factories in the English Midlands, to be near the Silverstone track, so for once working on the race didn’t involve lengthy travel.
At Jared’s insistence Kaye was allowed to bring Mike for a visit to the pits, where he was treated as a celebrity. Nobody asked about his connection with Jared. Nobody needed to.
Jared drove the fastest practice lap. Second fastest were the two Brent drivers-Hal, and a newcomer called Gary who was tipped for great things. He had a mighty good opinion of himself and regarded Jared with jealousy.
‘Watch out for him,’ Kaye murmured. ‘He’s a nasty piece of work.’
‘Hmm. A bit like Warrior,’ Jared agreed. ‘Don’t worry.’
In the event he won the race without trouble, with Gary doing no more than glower.
At the party that followed, Mr Vanner murmured to Kaye, ‘We’re all feeling relief right now. You know Jared did badly in a lot of races at the start of the season? He fell behind on points, but recently he’s been winning again, and his points are building back up. Another couple of wins and he’ll regain the lead.’