‘ Confusion is a lonely place;
I’m looking but can’t see her face.
She pulled me in and kept me close;
Her beauty is a troubled ghost.
All I saw was her and me;
We kept each other company,
Looking for the right way out.
She whispers but I wish she’d shout. ’
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I looked at the message. It was from Colin, and simply said JANE UPDATE. I texted back TELL ME! and waited a few moments for his reply. MY HOUSE. NOW.
I left the caravan so fast I didn’t even remember to take my iPod, and I always took that everywhere. I desperately wanted to find out what Colin knew. When I got to the guesthouse he was alone in the kitchen making coffee.
‘Hey,’ he said. ‘You’re not going to believe this.’ He pointed to a note on the table in front of me.
The paper was pale pink. Probably from a cute little letter set, one that made you want to get a pen pal just so you could have an excuse to buy it. Little pink hearts formed a border round the page, although their colour had faded with time. The handwriting was small and neat.
I picked up the note and read it aloud.
Dear Audrey,
Please forgive me. I am so sorry.
Please talk to me.
Love always,
Jane x
My eyes fixed on the final word.
‘Where did you get this?’ I asked, my heart thumping.
‘In the attic. Mam asked me to go up and look for more photographs, and I found this in among a pile of Lydia’s stuff.
‘Who’s Audrey?’
‘No idea. My mam said she doesn’t know anyone called Audrey. My dad didn’t have a clue either.’
‘Did you ask Lydia?’
‘Not yet, but we could ask her now,’ said Colin as we spotted Lydia heading for the dining room. She jumped when she saw us sitting in the semi-darkness. She was carrying a red silk dress, its plunging neckline sparkling with diamanté studs.
‘Lydia, have you ever seen this before?’ Colin asked, holding up the notepaper. She came over to the table and peered at it. Her face seemed to get paler. She scanned down through the words. There was some recognition there – I was sure of it.
‘No, never seen it before,’ she shrugged. Her hands gripped the dress more tightly.
‘I found it in your box in the attic,’ said Colin. I kept staring at Lydia. She definitely seemed a little bit flustered.
‘Do you know who Audrey is?’ I asked.
‘Nope.’
‘What about Jane? Did you know anybody called Jane?’
‘No offence, guys,’ she said with a smile, ‘but I really don’t have time to chat about a letter you two found in the attic. I have to finish this dress I’m making Mary for her birthday.’ Lydia walked out the door.
‘She knows something,’ I whispered.
‘Definitely,’ said Colin, folding up the note and dropping it into my pocket.
Chapter 16
Mum and I had gone for dinner to Clancy’s pub. She was tired and we both needed a break from our cramped living quarters. It was nearly ten o’clock, and Mum was enjoying an after-dinner drink. It was relatively quiet; there were two couples I didn’t know finishing off a late meal, and Mary and Lydia were sitting at the table behind me. They were the most unlikely best friends in the world. Mary was so prim and organized; Lydia so cool and carefree. Lydia had said hi to us when she came in, but wasn’t her usual friendly self. I was sure she knew something about that note. I was close enough to overhear what they were saying, but couldn’t really concentrate when Mum was chatting to me. When two of Mum’s new teacher friends came in and joined us I had a chance to eavesdrop on Lydia and Mary’s conversation.
‘Do you have any cocktails, Joe?’ asked Mary, her elbows resting on the table.
‘Where do you think you are?’ Joe joked with them.
Mary sighed. ‘Fine! We’ll have two more white wines, please.’
‘Coming right up,’ said Joe, and then disappeared through the door behind the bar.
‘And remember that time,’ said Mary, ‘the three of us snuck off to the disco in Drumshanbo, and we would have got away with it if Beth hadn’t forgotten her bloody key!’
I couldn’t believe my luck. They were actually talking about Beth. Maybe I’d learn something more about her. Even if she wasn’t the spirit who needed my help. I was intrigued.
‘Oh, that was hilarious!’ said Lydia. ‘I got in so much trouble over that. But it was worth it. One of the best nights ever. We should go out more, you know. We used to go out all the time.’
‘I wish I could,’ mumbled Mary. ‘But it’s nice that we go out for Beth’s birthday, no matter what.’
‘To Beth,’ said Mary.
‘To Beth!’ said Lydia, and they clinked glasses.
‘Lydia,’ Mary paused. ‘Do you think she’s… you know… looking down on us?’
‘I like to think she is. I’ll never forget it, Mary. The day she went missing. I’ll never forget it as long as I live. I wish I hadn’t fought with her… that I’d just gone shopping like she’d asked.’
‘You can’t keep blaming yourself,’ said Mary. ‘It wasn’t your fault. You weren’t to know something terrible was going to happen.’
Lydia took another sip of her drink. ‘Do you have any idea who did it?’
‘No,’ whispered Mary. ‘I don’t.’
‘There you go,’ said Joe, placing two tall glasses on the table.
‘What’s this?’ asked Lydia.
‘You made us cocktails!’ said Mary.
‘I tried my best. May not be what you’re used to, but -’
‘Thank you!’ said Lydia.
‘What’s it called?’ asked Mary. ‘What kind is it?’
‘A bloody Mary! What else?’
Mary found this hilarious and started laughing hysterically.
Lydia took a sip from her blood-red drink.
‘Go on, Mary, have a sip.’
Mary took a gulp from her glass, then twirled the little party umbrella sticking out from it.
‘You’re brilliant, Joe,’ she said.
‘Ah, would you stop,’ he chuckled as he went back out through the door.
‘Imagine,’ said Lydia, turning to Mary. ‘Yourself and Joe could have been an item.’
‘Yes, I know,’ she sighed. ‘You never know what turns your life will take, do you?’
There was a loud burst of laughter that drowned out the conversation. Suddenly I realized I was sitting at a table of teachers. I could tell they were censoring their gossip for my benefit, so I decided to go out for some air and leave them to it.
Joe was standing outside, smoking a cigarette.
‘Jacki!’ he said. ‘I have something to ask you. We saw your poster in the parish hall, and myself and Brigid would love to hire you for the party, just to sing one song. We already have the band, but I think Mary would love it if you sang too.’
Oh no. I had planned to avoid the party. I didn’t want to hang out around Nick any time soon. But Joe looked so enthusiastic that I found myself saying, ‘I’d love to!’
‘Great!’ Joe took out a little crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. On it was a list of ten song titles written in red pen.