My fingers fisted around the fabric of his shirt, and I opened my mouth to ask him if he wanted to stay.
"I'm dying to have you again," he said, cutting off my words, "but I'm going to wait until you realize this isn't a sexual relationship. This isn't-what did you call it? An unemotional fling."
I frowned.
"I want your affection. I want your trust. You don't have to worry about me," he said. "Ever. There isn't a woman out there who compares to you on any level. I'm not going to be with someone else while I'm gone. I'm not going to have a one-night stand or any type of sexual relationship in Florida."
"How can I be sure?" I asked softly. Dare I admit, desperately?
"It's called trust, baby, and you're just going to have to give me yours. You're the only woman I want. Think about that while I'm gone."
He left me standing there, my fingers tracing my lips, his heady, intoxicating words ringing in my head.
For the next several days, I worked feverishly on the decorations for Mrs. Powell's party, despite the fact that Royce still hadn't approved a location. I didn't think about him-and how he'd abandoned me to go on his trip, how spying on my step-dad had been fun because he'd made it fun. I didn't think about Jonathan, either-and how the pictures revealed nothing sexual had happened at Nora's. Nor did I think about anything related to either of them-like the fact that both men had me tied in knots.
I concentrated only on the party, on the vivid blue, green and violet table drapes, the multi-hued satin pillows I planned to scatter over the floor, and the perfect exotic lanterns I'd rent.
On the fourth (lonely) morning after Royce's departure, I went to Kera's for an impromptu breakfast (at Kera's insistence) only to learn my cousin had prepared one of her new, exotic recipes. Some kind of fried meat with a disgusting egg sauce. I should have called in sick. I was destined to be sick anyway, if I ate that crap.
"So what's going on with you?" Kera asked after taking a huge bite of her meat. She chewed as if it were one of the most delicious things she'd ever eaten. "You've been ignoring us for days."
I started with business. "What kind of food can you make for an Arabian Nights party?"
"Hmm. Let's see… what about ashta with honey, baclawa, kounafa, mafrouki and stuff like that?"
"I'm not sure." I had no idea what any of that stuff was. "They aren't new recipes of yours, are they?"
"No, dummy. They're Lebanese."
"Do you think Royce's trip to Florida was his way of giving you the boot?" Mel asked suddenly, cutting into our conversation.
Business forgotten, my stomach dropped. I hadn't considered that.
"I would sob if Colin dumped me," Kera said, fighting a smile.
"We know." Mel sent me a will-you-shut-her-up gaze.
"No boot," I said firmly. All right, hopefully. Royce had said he wouldn't be with another woman while he was gone. He'd said that he wanted me, that no other woman would do. He'd proven himself trustworthy so far. "I like Royce," I told them, swirling milk in my glass. "And I miss him. I do. More than I should. He's an amazing lover and I-"
Kera: "Wait. Back up. Amazing lover? You told us you'd kissed him, and that's all. You've slept with the guy and this is the first we hear about it?"
Meclass="underline" "I should have guessed from the way your skin is glowing."
I plopped my elbows on the tabletop and dropped my head into my upraised hands. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just… I don't know. I wasn't ready to give details."
"Why? I always share my details." Mel again.
"We know," Kera and I said in unison. Over the years, we'd heard all about Mel's love life in vivid description. Way too much description. The girl liked it wild, no doubt about it.
"What if he finds someone else while he's gone?" Mel asked, pouring more of the yellow gravy mix over her meat. "In fact, what if the man comes back married?"
Again, I hadn't thought of that. Nausea churned in my still bottomed-out stomach.
I must have gone seriously pale, because Kera said, "Don't listen to her. The man is obviously in love with you. He asked you to marry him, not some other woman. He'll come back to you. Single," she added with a firm nod.
"So what should I do?" My voice cracked. How long would Royce be content to wait for me? "I'm not ready to give him up. Should I marry him like he wants? He said he won't sleep with me again until we're committed."
"The bastard," Mel said.
Kera's shoulders hunched as she considered my words. Her lips dipped into a soft, little frown. "I honestly don't know what you should do."
Life sucked.
"We need to think about this," Kera added. "Why don't we spend the rest of the day and night thinking about Naomi's problem, and we'll meet back here in the morning."
The next morning:
"Okay, I've thought about it." I sat across from my cousins, buttering a piece of toast.
"See, I knew a day and night of reflection was all you needed." Kera passed me the strawberry jelly. Praise the Lord, she hadn't cooked today. "What have you decided?"
I closed my eyes, opened them, preparing myself to remain strong. "I'm going to seduce him until he forgets about any type of commitment issues."
Kera rolled her eyes. "Good luck with that." She munched on a bite of her cereal, thoughtful as she chewed. "In theory, I'm sure ignoring his desire for a commitment seems feasible. But in actuality, you'll start to feel guilty."
"She's right." Mel nodded. "You're better off ending things now."
Now they offered advice. After I'd spent the night agonizing. "I hate how complicated this is."
"You're such a complainer, Naomi." Mel pushed her bowl away. "If Royce were to ask me for advice, I'd tell him to never see you again."
"And that would be the best advice you've given all week," I said with a frown.
"Well, I think you're in lu-ve," Kera sang.
"Me, too. What's so bad about marrying Royce, anyway? I know you think you're not ready. But hey, if it doesn't work out, get a divorce. It's as easy as one, two, three." Mel snapped.
"Divorce isn't easy. It's hard and it hurts and it can turn into a blood bath. Hello, did neither of you pay attention during my divorce from Richard?"
Kera: "If Colin asked me, I'd already be at the altar."
Meclass="underline" "Will you shut up about Colin, Kera? I'm sick to death of hearing about him. You're dating him, but he calls me. Comes on to me."
Kera smiled, barely managing to hide her gloating. "He's probably got you confused with me."
"Maybe I should marry Royce," Mel snapped. "Then this entire conversation would be moot. I'd never have to hear about Royce or Colin again, and I could go back to my peaceful existence."
I stiffened, not liking those words at all. "You can't marry Royce. The two of you would never get along."
She ran her tongue over her teeth. "Oh, really?"
"Yes, really."
"Why not?"
"Because you don't play backgammon, that's why. The article in the Tattler specifically stated that Royce wants a woman who plays backgammon."
Mel chuckled. "You'll have to do better than that, Naomi. You don't know how to play backgammon, either, and he asked you to marry him."
"That's not the point."
"What about green?" Mel asked. "Green is my best color, or so I've been told. And Royce's favorite color is green."
"So what?" I said defensively. "He prefers women who don't talk back. You're disqualified for that alone."