Kolia was paralysed by the financial obstacles: he wanted to move on to Petersburg, where entry to art college was free, but had no money for the fare. Pavel, after repeated pleas, petitioned Liubov Alferaki, the wife of Taganrog's richest merchant, asking her to pay for Kolia's transfer to the Petersburg Academy of the Arts: Give him an education in the arts, which bounty you have bestowed on many… for twelve years my son and I have read and sung in the Palace church when you pronounced your prayers to the Almighty God with great ardour.
1874-6
The Alferakis did not help. Kolia felt abandoned, and sank in despair at the prospect of joining Misha Chokhov in Gavrilov's warehouse. Aleksandr was hurt by his parents' apathy. They offered reproaches, not support. Evgenia suspected him of hating his brother; Pavel ordered him to church. Aleksandr begged them: 'And for God's sake I ask you to write more warmly to us, from the heart: daddy, you just give lectures which we have learnt by heart since we were children
Evgenia was distressed by Aleksandr's closing remark: 'I've been to the catholic church. Wonderful music' 'Aleksandr, pray properly, you've no business going round catholic churches,' she replied. She sent Aleksandr two roubles and a torrent of complaints for his name day, and begged Aleksandr to apply to the railway millionaire Poliakov for a free ticket, so that she could come and settle Kolia in. She was desperate enough finding money and space in Taganrog, and persuading the two gimnazia to keep Maria, Anton and Vania on, when the fees could not be paid. As soon as her two eldest sons had left, she took on Selivanov's niece Sasha as a paying guest. Anton w;is in the country, too ill to write. Evgenia poured her heart out to Aleksandr: Kolia must be ill, my heart can sense it. We've let the annexe to tenants and we are living like sardines in a can, I'm worn out with running from living room to kitchen and I expect the people in the rooms are finding it very tight… The younger brothers in Taganrog were still full of the joys of their summer holidays: on 16 August 1875 Vania wrote to Aleksandr and Kolia: It was good, I rode a horse yesterday was Mama's birthday and I spent the whole day in the shop and the day before was a dinner at uncle Mitrofan's where our cousins had dinner and there were a lot of priests… I had the first letter from you and took it especially it interested the Kamburovs when I read out that Kolia was crossing himself at every step. I'm well Anton is not very well… By September 1875 the two brothers were living in conditions that Aleksandr recalled as 'a cloaca with fish floating up from beneath the floorboards'. Aleksandr wanted to send Kolia home for Christmas alone. 'I've no reason to go to Taganrog, I find it repulsive now.' Evgenia's sons had done what she had asked them not to: they had
36
57
1Ë I 111 l-C Ml Mil MAN asked a Jew for help. Kolia described his visit to Rubinstein, a member of the distinguished composer's family, well known for philanthropy to provincial students: 'I already know half Moscow. I've been to see Rubinstein. He is a tiny little yid, about the height of our Misha, he received us rather coolly, he hardly speaks any Russian and so I talked through a Jewish interpreter…' Kolia wanted private pupils. Rubinstein promised to help. Kolia explained to his mother, at great length, that as a stranger in Moscow he had only expenses and no prospects of earnings. Anton still had Kolia's paints in Taganrog. 'I sit alone at home, I'm fed up with sloping around Moscow.' Finally on 4 September he passed a mathematics exam, was enrolled at the Art College and began to draw. Even though he could now only afford half a roll for breakfast and his shoes let in the rain, Kolia's mood swung violently from depression to euphoria. Ivan Loboda brought him a violin from ' I aganrog. Kolia reassured his mother in a tone that must have aroused Anton's envy: a life outside the parental home, independent! And in an independent life you have to keep your ears sharp and your eyes open, because you're dealing not with boys but with mature people… Today I had for dinner: borshch and fried eggs, yesterday I had borshch and chops… Kolia's high spirits lasted all autumn. He found pupils among his fellow students for calligraphy and drawing, but he still had to complete his secondary education while studying Art and Architecture: Anton sent him his Ovid and a crib. By now Kolia was known to a circle of students as 'The Artist', trawling Moscow's drinking dens. The trickle of money from Taganrog dried up. While attending university only on Tuesdays, in return for board and lodging for himself and Kolia, Aleksandr worked in a crammer run by two Scandinavians, Brukker and Groening. Kolia's eccentricities made life intolerable: he worked spasmodically, rarely washed and often wet his bed. In October 1875 Aleksandr complained to Anton: I'm writing on my bed, half-asleep, for it is past one in the morning. Kolia has been snoring for some time after his constant 'I can't spare the time'. The poor boy is wiped out. He's stunk the whole room out. He has an odd way of sleeping. He covers himself so that his head and back are covered up, but a yard of his legs are uncovered.
1874-6
He's trouble, he slops about bare-foot in the evening, wears no socks, there's mud in his boots… his feet are filthy. He went to the baths on Saturday and by Sunday his feet are like an Ethiopian's… We have floods almost every night and all his rotten stuff is drying in my room. I swear to you by God that I'll lose my job because of his arsehole… Mama is afraid I'm treating him badly, but she's the one, because she doesn't bother to do anything about acquiring an overcoat for him, while Papa tries for miracles and writes to tell us to borrow money… Although his pupils were charged 700 roubles a year, Brukker had stopped feeding, let alone paying, his student-teacher. In a freezing November the school was no longer heated, the boys fell ill and their parents retrieved them. Groening and Aleksandr fled. Despite a libellous letter from Brukker's wife, a Prince Vorontsov paid Aleksandr board and lodging to teach his sons for a few months. Kolia plunged into destitution, and complained to his parents: Aleksandr has left and I wandered all day around town looking for somewhere to live and came back hungry at night, I hadn't eaten since breakfast and when I got back I asked for food and they told me there wasn't any. Aleksandr's at Vorontsov's, I'm sitting in a little room and there's revolution in the building, they're saying Aleksandr has poached all the pupils that the parents have removed because of the bad state of things. In the next room Brukker is raging and I'm sitting and waiting for him to say, 'Clear out.' Ten roubles from Loboda got Kolia lodgings in December, but he was desperate: 'I shall be spending the night in 30 degrees of frost by Sukharevka tower and I shall die of starvation if nobody lends me anything…' The noose tightened in Taganrog. Evgenia told Aleksandr that she could not cope, let alone find the fare to come and comfort her sons:. Antosha and Vania have spent all week at home, the school is demanding payment and we have no money. Yesterday, 9 October, Pavel went and asked the headmaster to let Vania off, but Antosha is still at home, in all 42 roubles have to be paid for him and Masha. Now tell me not to moan. I'm so weak with worry that I can hardly walk, if I had my health I might earn some money, but I can't, yesterday I spent all day in bed… I asked Selivanov for 30 roubles to pay back at 10 roubles a year. He wouldn't… what are we to do with Kolia, he mustn't drink tea before bedtime. Please see to
J8
V)
FATHER TO III I MAN
his underwear, don't let him drop it about and let it rot. I'm even crying because we haven't sent you any money… Daddy isn't sending you money, but not because he's mean, God sees that he has nothing. This month we have to pay 50 roubles interest on the house to the bank… Vania's been sent back from school. Diakonov just threw him out. Pokrovsky spoke up for us, but Diakonov wouldn't hear of it… December 1875 in Taganrog was severe: Evgenia had frostbite on both hands. She had thanked Ivan Loboda for keeping an eye on her sons and Loboda lent her enough money for Kolia to come home for Christmas and the New Year. So severe were the snows, however, that the railway from Taganrog was blocked. Kolia had to leave the train south at a halt by a Scythian barrow, Matveev Kurgan: on 23 December Anton was sent by sledge with fur coats to carry him back, hungry and ill, over the last forty miles. Kolia stayed with his family until February, when the lines were kept clear, and he could beg his fare back to Moscow from a family friend.