“What do you mean? Are you being sold? Why…when?”
“The point is that soon Master Flavius is going to attend his engagement ceremony and he asked his father to give me to him as a wedding present. I presume this will happen in about six years, but still… I feel as if I can get used to living in this house and serving Master Marcus Tiberius. Maybe if I hadn’t known that, I wouldn’t have felt so confused.” he replied, He looked into her green eyes. “And I…I think I will miss you.”
Cassandra giggled. “That is sweet, Saul. I will miss you too, and don’t you worry, I will teach you how to take care of your hair. I will miss combing your locks, they are so soft.” She held Saul’s hand gently in her own. “This is how it happens to us. We are mere property. You have become a gift for Flavius. Be glad that you know your Master at least, and you like each other. I would not be too worried about the new mistress if I were you. Everything will be fine. I am confident Marcus Tiberius took scrupulous care in choosing the right match for his son, not only for her qualities as a wife but also as a mistress of the slaves who will serve in their house.”
He gasped as he sat on a chair, falling again into the depth of his thoughts.
It felt odd to think of himself as an object, but at that moment, he felt exactly like that. It was difficult to realize that the person who treated him the fairest was not Flavius or Flaminia, but Marcus Tiberius. He never tried to make Saul’s new condition milder with the fake appearance of friendship or a sort of motherly love. He gently, yet firmly, drew the boundaries of his life as a slave. He was the one who didn’t confuse him with useless, futile words to hide the truth.
Saul felt hollow, meaningless, and lonely.
Then he understood Caleb’s words. It would have been better for him to forget about his past. Memories felt like ghosts haunting his soul with their unattainability.
He felt his childhood depart.
He ate his meal listlessly, barely enjoying it.
Without saying a word, he trudged toward the dorm.
As soon as Saul’s head touched the pillow, the dam holding back his tears broke, somewhat relieving his soul, but the knowledge that he had a new reality to face refused to fade.
When he became a slave, he had thought it impossible to bend his will to another person, but he’d done it.
Feeling grateful for the fair treatment he’d received from his Master, he thought how lucky he had been… So far. A sob escaped.
Nana came in and sat on his bed. “Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”
He wiped his eyes. “Did Cassandra tell you why I am crying?”
“Yes.” She caressed his hair.
He sighed. “Nana, what are we? Are we just… things?”
“If we are not things, we are considered less than people; we are slaves,” she replied, trying to smile.
He could not recall when he quit being a person. His feelings were still the same. He felt pain the same, but this time, it dug deeper than any other pain he’d ever experienced, as it reached his soul.
“Nana, I am afraid my new Mistress won’t be as kind as Mistress Flaminia. What will happen if she doesn't like me? What could she do?” He grabbed desperately on Nana’s tunic
Nana didn’t know how to explain that cruelty against slaves was not so rare.
How am I supposed to explain this to a twelve-year-old boy?
“Saul, I don’t know your new mistress, but I know Master Flavius, and he won’t let anything awful happen to you. Of this, you can be sure. She can be mean or kind. No matter what her nature is, your duty won’t change. You’ll have to be loyal to her, regardless of the circumstances,” she said, holding him tightly to her.
His heartbeat started to grow faster, and he felt like he had no escape, but she was right. Flavius would stick by his side. His request to own Saul proved that he liked him and didn’t want to part from him. Holding onto those comforting thoughts, and soothed by Nana’s hands stroking his hair, he fell asleep.
The next morning, Flavius woke up in the same mood as when he went to bed. Awful. He wished the pending engagement to Claudia was just a nightmare. His bitterness grew.
On the way to school, Saul said, “Master, this time it is you who isn't speaking much.”
“Yes, I still feel bitter about my father’s decision,” Flavius said briefly.
“About getting married? I think it was thoughtful of him to take care of your future like that.”
“Taking care of my future, yes, but this is ruling my future, and besides, I know Claudia and I don’t like her. I could never love and respect her in the same way my father does my mother.” Flavius shook his head, slowing the pace of his steps. “I don’t want to marry Claudia. I’ve hated her since the first time I met her. She is a selfish, egocentric, cruel, superficial, egoist, and despicable creature, and I don’t want to live my life with her. We can’t hope for the same relationship my father and my mother have. Instead…”
“It seems you are in a trap, Master,” Saul replied, smiling sarcastically.
“And I realize that I am bringing you into the same trap, but I need somebody I can trust in that household. I need you, Saul, more than you can imagine. I will protect you whenever you need it, and I will not let you down.”
“Is she really that terrible, Master?” It seemed that his worries about her were not unfounded.
“My father said that she has changed since her childhood, but I don’t believe that. Evil people never change; they are born evil, and time just confirms their nature. The sole positive thing I can remember about her is her beauty; she is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he recalled.
“When will I meet her?”
“At the party, after the engagement ceremony.”
Considering how odd it sounded even to his ears, it felt right, that even if he were taken as a possession, his owners would properly take care of him. He felt safe, and at that moment, it was enough.
“I think you worry too much, Master. After all, she is nothing but a woman. She is not a monster, and perhaps you are overreacting. Possibly, your father is correct, and she has changed.
“Maybe you’re right, Saul, but I still have this strange feeling. We’ll see,” he said, as they reached the school, and the sun started to light up the sky.
Saul laid the bag on the table and gave Flavius his waxed tablets. Soon, he would leave with Marcus Tiberius. He thought he should let the teacher know.
In the room, a strange silence fell over them. Caius, occupied with reading, barely greeted them as they entered. Antonius and Julius were late as usual. Flavius engaged in commiserating himself, and Saul considered what was so wrong in the lives of the Romans. They had everything, and still, they felt miserable as soon as the smallest thing wasn’t going the way they wanted it.
The teacher came from the back room and looked at his students. “Good morning,” he greeted. At that sudden interruption, the boys stood and greeted back.
“Teacher, I have something to say if I’m allowed,” Saul said.
“Of course, tell me,” he replied.
“In August, I have to undertake a trip with my Master, and I won’t be able to follow your lessons for an entire month. I hope I can make up for the lost time when I return.”
“That’s something we can agree on afterward. Don’t you worry. Just attend to your duties.” The teacher nodded, understanding that there wouldn’t have been anything to do for that, and the top priority for a slave was doing exactly as his Master ordered.
The teacher then started his lesson, but Saul was not able to follow it; his mind focused on the new direction his life was about to take. Just when he thought he found his place, all the cards were messed up on the table and he had no idea what to think.