Am I now the one who is overreacting? Shaking his head at the silly idea, he stood and walked in the silence of the house, crossing the fancy decorated room that in a few hours would host the betrothal banquet.
Everything was silently waiting, the beds for the diners, the beautiful vases that would have carried brightly colored flowers.
He admired the decorations in the semidarkness of the night as he walked outside to the garden to breathe the fresh air.
“I thought I was the only one who could not sleep,” said a voice behind him.
Surprised, he turned and saw Marcus Tiberius coming out of the house. “What makes you sleepless, Saul?” he asked, walking toward him.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s just the excitement.”
“I have the same problem. I hope everything will go smoothly, but you don’t have anything to be worried about. Nana has already instructed you.”
Saul could not find any comfort in his words.
“I will follow her the entire day, but it is not serving your guests that worries me. Master Flavius asked me to cover duties I am not sure will be appropriate for tomorrow.”
“What did he order you to do?” Marcus Tiberius asked.
“He wants to introduce me to his fiancée, and I should entertain her, but if I need to serve the guests, I…”
“As she will be your mistress, I consider it appropriate. Don’t worry too much about the other guests.”
Marcus Tiberius raised his hand to stroke Saul’s hair and relaxed at that touch.
Immersed in his thoughts, Saul kept his gaze lowered until Marcus Tiberius’ hand brushing his skin as it moved the hair back to his shoulders.
Saul raised his head toward him with questioning eyes and met Marcus Tiberius’ gaze. In the light of the moon, Marcus Tiberius’ eyes looked sad and worried, and a tear seemed to reflect the light of the moon shining in the cloudless sky.
“Master?” he breathed
Marcus Tiberius continued to stroke his hair absentminded.
Saul turned his head away, savoring his master’s gentle touch. He would miss this. His eyes filled with tears and sadness overwhelmed his heart. It was as if he was, again, losing his home and the things dear to him.
In equal measure, he felt betrayed by the Master he had served loyally since the beginning, but hatred stood at bay.
“Are you crying?” Marcus Tiberius asked.
“No, Master. I’m just tired,” he replied, swallowing bitter tears.
“You are not a good liar, and besides, you shouldn’t lie to me…ever.” Marcus Tiberius hissed toughening his expression.
“Are you going to punish me?” he replied in a sarcastic tone laced with a challenge.
“How dare you speak to me like that?” Marcus Tiberius felt at first surprised by that statement.
Then surprise turned into anger, and his fists clenched, and his expression cringed, into an angry mask.
Nevertheless, as he glanced inside his feelings, he understood Saul’s state of mind and relaxed his body.
“Because I can’t understand why are you getting rid of me so fast. Did I disappoint you? Aren’t you satisfied with me?” His courage faltered into tears.
Saul’s tone surprised Marcus Tiberius.
He took his hand and guided him to sit on a bench with him. “Come, Saul, listen. For this time, and only this time, you are allowed to speak to me as openly and frankly as you wish. I won’t get upset, and you won’t be punished. On the contrary, I will be honest with you too…I am not disappointed, and neither I am dissatisfied. You are the most trusted of my slaves, the one I truly appreciate for many reasons; you are a real treasure, and I feel affection for you…but Flavius is my son. When I told him he was going to marry Claudia, I saw he was disappointed in me, and I didn’t want my own son to think of me as a tyrant. For this reason, when he asked for you to go with him, I agreed, thinking it would fix the rift between us. It seems now that things are not even between you and me, and your tears tell me more than all your words.”
“Master, why did you choose Claudia?”
“Her father is an influential lawyer, and with his help, Flavius will have the possibility of a brilliant career. Claudia’s family will have political advantages when they become members of my family. We are both getting a proficient deal out of this wedding.”
“Why me? Master, I want to stay with you. I understand that I have no rights, but the idea of being away from you… in my heart, I can’t imagine being any place other than here serving you. I want to be at your side, Master.” His voice trembled as tears overflowed.
Marcus Tiberius looked at him, speechless as an invisible hand clasped his heart. Loneliness grabbed his soul at the thought of life without his best slave. He held him tightly against his chest. In the same way, he would have said goodbye to a lover, he kissed Saul, allowing his feelings to permeate through his lips.
As they parted, Saul grabbed Marcus Tiberius’ sleeves and sobbed, feeling hopelessness, yet relief that he could tell his Master what was in his heart.
Saul felt intoxicated by Marcus Tiberius’ kiss, it was the ultimate confirmation that his master loved him the way he also did.
When his tears dried to tracks of salt on his cheeks, he maintained his grip on Marcus Tiberius, finding peace in his closeness He wanted to remain in the arms of the man who had taught him better than anyone else how to be a slave—the man who incarnated a Master, a fatherly figure and a lover. As Marcus Tiberius ran his fingers through Saul’s hair in slow, soothing motions like his father had done, he dozed off.
Marcus Tiberius felt Saul’s body relaxing, then surrender to sleep. He carried him into the guest room and laid him on the bed. As he watched him sleep, Saul’s forehead creased, then relaxed as soon as Marcus Tiberius touched his cheek.
The tenderness that washed over him for this slave overwhelmed him. He never cared about his slave’s emotional state; he took care of their physical health and treated them fairly.
Perhaps it was due to Saul only being twelve years old and looked so small and vulnerable. Perhaps it was that his arguments carried the wisdom of an adult. Perhaps it was his innocent beauty. Whatever the reason, Marcus Tiberius felt affection toward the boy.
He had to find a solution to make it even, not only to that little boy but also to his own heart, which could not accept being parted from him.
As he sat on the bed, stroking Saul’s hair, he thought he had found the right solution to all their problems and pursed his lips. “Let’s see, Saul. For now, goodnight, then tomorrow I might have good news for you,” he whispered, kissing his soft lips.
Chapter 9.
The engagement day arrived announced by a perfect sunny sky, despite the chilly weather. The house had been richly decorated with fresh flowers and fine fabrics for the event. Saul spent most of the time with Flavius, helping him to prepare for the ceremony, mostly to wear the toga and comb his hair.
“Saul, promise me you will always be at my side. I feel so nervous. I don’t want to…” He grasped Saul by the shoulders.
“Master, I will be with you as much as possible, but remember I am a slave, and my place won’t be at your side. That is reserved for your fiancée, but I will always be within your reach if this makes you feel better.”
“Thank you, this will be enough. I guess I need to see you, so I won't be alone. Why can’t I marry a woman of my choice?” he asked huffing.
“I don’t know, but you keep that in mind when you have to find a bride for your son,” Saul replied.
“… son?” Flavius repeated, confused.
“Well, at least in my country, if a man marries a woman, they have children afterward. Doesn’t it work like that in Rome? Do you buy your children in the same way you buy your slaves?” he asked, amused.