“That’s all right, darling. I understand. Now try to rest. Things will be better tomorrow.” She released his hand, then kissed his forehead and left the room.
She was right in many respects, Flavius thought.
Saul lay on his bed, looking at the sky, and thinking about almost everything. It seemed he was constantly in the wrong place at the wrong time. Regardless of the fact that Flavius insisted that it was not his fault; the way he hit him told a different story. Perhaps it was for a totally different reason. Saul was sure Flavius didn’t tell him exactly what compelled him to punch him violently, or the reason for his crying. Maybe he was tired. Pondering the true case, he fell asleep.
He opened his eyes in the morning, slightly later than usual, as Rufus didn’t come to wake him. He felt relaxed and in a better mood. A bright sunlight beaming from the window in a perfect blue sky invited him to stand up from the bed. His rumbling stomach forced him to direct himself to reach the kitchen for breakfast.
“Good morning,” greeted Cassandra. “Our Masters left the house early to visit Master Marcus Tiberius’ brother. I guess they will be back this evening or maybe tomorrow morning,”
“Oh…I didn’t know they were going anywhere,” he replied, surprised that none of them had told him about this trip.
“It was a hasty decision. I suppose they decided this morning because none of us knew about it either.”
That sounded strange to Saul, but he felt glad about it too.
He hoped that by the time his Masters returned, his mind would be clearer, and everything would be back to normal, even if he weren’t sure he knew what normal meant anymore.
On that day, he helped the other slaves with their errands and on their way back, they went once more to the Thermae. As he returned home, he didn’t even question whether his Masters were back and walked toward the garden, where he studied in solitude. In his soul, everything was as it always had been.
The morning after, as usual, Rufus awakened him.
“Wake up, Saul. Time to go to school. Master Flavius won’t come today. He went to visit his uncle, but before you go, Master Marcus Tiberius would like to talk to you, so hurry up.”
Saul got out of bed and tried to understand what Rufus had said.
“How come Master Flavius is not here? I mean, why?” he asked, entering the kitchen.
“Perhaps this is the reason Master Marcus Tiberius wants to speak to you,” Rufus replied.
Saul gave Rufus a perplexed glance, trying to figure out whether Flavius went away because of Claudia or because of him. He remembered how scared and confused he looked at the ceremony and how defeated and bitter, jealous, and betrayed he looked after it.
After he ate, he went to Marcus Tiberius’ room. “You asked to see me, Master?”
Marcus Tiberius raised his eyes from the papers in front of him. “Yes, Saul. Rufus has probably already told you that Flavius will be away, as he is going to live for about a month with his uncle. You are still my slave, and that is not going to change over the next six years; therefore, you will continue to go to school and, in the afternoon, you will serve me.”
Saul, not sure what to say, lowered his gaze. “Yes, Master.”
After a contemplative silence, Marcus Tiberius beckoned. “Come closer,” he ordered. When they were near each other, Marcus Tiberius raised Saul’s head with his finger under his chin and looked into his eyes.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Master, it seems like, willing or not, I am always involved in a situation that disappoints you or your son, and I am truly sorry about it.”
“Nothing and everything has been because of you, but the fact Flavius felt betrayed by me would have happened even if you hadn’t been in this household. I think he took the jealousy he feels toward you as an excuse; he had to cover his immaturity behind a more feasible reason. He is going to grow up, but he needs me to be firm with him.
“You see, Saul, my fault has been I never taught him that, in life, he won’t have things handed to him as he has so far. When he realized at the engagement ceremony that life wouldn’t always go his way, his world collapsed. He felt the weight of being a man, and his childhood fading away. I should have better prepared him.” Marcus Tiberius paused. “The first time I saw you, I felt mercy for you and carried you home in my arms. When I did so, I felt good. When I saw you cleaned up, I was stunned by your beauty and still I am. I was amazed by your honesty and loyalty toward my family and me. During those years, I was impressed by the progress in your education as you have become an indispensable tool in my work. Your advice made you important in my everyday life, but I should have made it clear that Flavius is still the dearest one to me, despite what I think about you.
“This makes me the main person responsible; you are only brought into the middle and have no responsibility,” he said, brushing Saul’s cheek.
Saul turned his gaze down. His Master’s words flattered him; he felt a flush warm his skin where his Marcus Tiberius had touched him. “Thank you, Master. You are probably right.”
The power exuding from Marcus Tiberius intrigued him. He wanted to be protected by him, be at his side, ruled by his justice and strength. He wanted to feel his gaze upon him. He felt almost sad as his Master dismissed him, but he had to attend his lectures.
It felt odd to walk into the teacher’s home by himself; he wondered if Flavius were missing that too, and what he pondered about his life.
He arrived and sat at a table, not even noticing who was there until a voice said, “So, you feel that you are so far above everybody that you can’t even greet us?”
“I’m sorry, Caius. I have been so immersed in my thoughts that I barely noticed I arrived. Good morning.”
Caius sat at his table, avoiding replying to him, and soon the room was still.
“Where is your Master?” Caius asked, breaking the grave silence in the room.
Saul turned to look at him, feeling grateful, for his consideration started to haunt his mind. “I have been told that he will spend some time with his uncle. You know he met his future bride two days ago at his engagement party. Are you also engaged, Caius?”
Caius shook his head. “I am not yet engaged, but I heard my parents talking about it, so I am waiting for my doomsday. Who is the lucky bride?”
“She is Claudia, Lucius Claudius Blasio’s daughter. Do you know her?”
“For all the gods, thanks for giving her to Flavius and not to me.”
“She is a beautiful woman. Why do you say that?”
Caius looked at him and smirked teasingly as if he was making fun of what he was saying.
“My dear Saul, she is indeed very beautiful, but she is also full of herself. Nothing and nobody is more important than her,” Caius said, chuckling.
“Well, this is not relevant. I will go to serve in their household once they get married.”
“How come?”
“Flavius asked his father to include me among the gifts for the wedding. This was the only condition under which he would accept the wedding.”
“I understand; at least, there will be someone beautiful to please his lonely nights.”
Saul goggled at him, shocked. “What do you mean?” he asked with a trembling voice.
“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you are so naïve. A slave’s duty also includes pleasing his Master’s sexual desires, and this goes for both boys and girls. Don’t tell me that no one ever used you in that way,” he said, his tone cruel.
Saul stared at him, feeling scared. He could not believe what he said because nothing like that had ever happened.
“Master Marcus Tiberius would never do such a thing. Flavius never did anything like it either, with any of us,” he replied, offended, almost trying to ignore the nights he spent in his Master’s company.