I force myself to sit up and throw Lana a dirty look.
She just smiles.
“So I got a phone call from Faye today, about starting as Clover’s nanny.”
“Are you considering it?” I ask her. “It’s good money.”
“I know,” she replies. “Really good money, but there’s one problem.”
I sit up straighter. “What?”
“I’m going to have to be around Tracker and Allie. I don’t know if I can handle that, to be honest,” she whispers, looking down at her feet. “The thing is, I could really use the money and I could help Mother out with some of the bills too, so I want to take it.”
When I’d suggested Lana to Faye, I didn’t even think about Tracker.
Crap.
“You don’t have to do it—”
Lana sighs. “He’s just a man, right? Maybe someone new will catch my eye.”
I didn’t want to tell her that if she felt for Tracker anything like what I felt for Arrow . . . well, I doubted those feelings would be going away any time soon.
“It’s your call, Lana. I could ask Reid if he needs someone else,” I suggest, but I can see in her eyes that she’s already decided to take this job.
She nods. “The money is . . . wow, for part-time work, and the times she needs me fit in with my class schedule.”
“I have to get to class, but we can talk more when I get back.”
She kisses me on my cheek. “Go take a shower.”
“I will.”
She leaves and I hop into the shower, wondering if I made the right choice bringing Lana closer to the club.
And closer to Tracker.
* * *
I’m more than surprised about an hour later when Tracker pulls into Lana’s driveway. I watch as he steps out of the car with a determined look on his face. Arrow has called me every day for the last week but has otherwise respected my wishes to be alone. We’d talk for a few minutes, he’d ask if he could bring me anything, if I needed anything. He was being so sweet and understanding. He’d ask me to come back to the clubhouse, but I told him I still needed a little space.
Everyone else has respected my wishes too—but it looks like that’s about to change.
I open the door for him.
“Hey, Tracker.”
“Anna Bell,” he says, smiling faintly and kissing my cheek. “Where’s Lana?”
“She’s at school. What can I do for you?” I ask him as he glances around the house, taking in every little detail.
“Pack your shit; enough pouting. You’re getting your ass home where you belong,” he says, his tone brokering no argument.
I purse my lips together. “I don’t know, Tracker, I—”
He rudely cuts me off. “Do you love Arrow?”
“Of course I do,” I reply instantly.
There is no question about it. I adore the man. Head over heels.
“He’s fuckin’ hurting, Anna. Don’t do this to him. Go and put him out of his misery,” he says, frowning a little. “It’s hurting all of us, seeing him like this. And don’t tell him I told you any of this.”
I open my mouth, then close it.
He’s right.
He’s right and I’ve known it for the last week. Why have I been wasting time? I don’t need space, I need Arrow.
I either love him and want him, or I don’t.
There is no in-between.
And I want him badly.
What the fuck am I doing?
“I see you’re beginning to understand,” he muses with a smirk. “I’ve seen him turn down every woman who’s looked his way—trust me, Anna, you’ve done a number on the poor man.”
“What women?” I ask, trying to keep the bite out of my tone.
He shrugs, but I can’t help but see the grin he tries to hide from me. “Come on, grab your shit.”
My “shit,” as he so eloquently put it, isn’t much. I’d gone shopping for everything I was using and it all fit into one bag.
He helps me into the car, then pauses. “Good to have you back, Anna Bell.”
I smile. “Thanks for bringing me back.”
I think we’ll have a silent drive home, but Tracker decides to be chatty.
“You should go and fuck the shit out of him. Oh, and give him head, lots of head.”
I blink a few times. “Thank you for that advice, Tracker.”
“You’re welcome. Do you know what else we men really like? We like it when you—”
I pinch his shoulder.
“Ouch,” he grumbles.
“Please, shut up,” I beg of him.
“Should I stop for condoms?” he asks cheerfully. “What size is Arrow? Or maybe water balloons might do?”
I laugh at that. “Arrow’s dick is huge; don’t insult it in my presence.”
“Whoa, touchy.”
“What have I missed?” I ask him.
“Rake’s angry you’ve been gone; Arrow’s been moping around. It’s pathetic really. I think twice he walked out the door to come get you, but then he turned around. He wanted to respect your wishes, no matter how much it almost killed him.”
Fuck, my Arrow.
I should have returned sooner.
My mind was messed up, so I guess I did need that time to myself, but I didn’t want to hurt anyone else in the process, and I knew I did hurt Arrow, and Rake as well.
I was only thinking of myself at the time, trying to work through my own issues.
I sigh and stare out the window. “I didn’t know how to deal. Everyone kept things from me, but now I see that it really wouldn’t have changed anything. Arrow didn’t want to lose or hurt me, and I can see where he was coming from. It was a difficult situation.”
“I know, Anna, and no one blames you. You did what you had to do, it was just a few days’ break; Arrow is going on like he’s lost you forever,” he grumbles.
“He probably thought I wouldn’t come back.”
“Well, he was wrong,” he replies. “And trust me, if you weren’t back in a few days he would have gone and gotten you. He was about to break, even I could see that. He wasn’t going to live without you.”
Tracker parks the car and we walk into the clubhouse side by side.
Rake grins and runs to me, lifting me in his arms. “Thank fuck you’re back, sis!”
“Good to be back,” I murmur, my eyes searching the room for Arrow.
“He’s in his room,” he tells me, kissing my cheek. I smile and walk to the room, only to find it locked. I knock a few times.
No answer.
I knock harder.
“Fuck off!” he yells, his voice hoarse, causing me to grimace.
“Arrow?” I call out.
The door flies open in seconds.
I study him.
Dark circles under his eyes, a bruised cheek, his hair a tangled mess.
“Can I come in?” I ask softly.
He blinks. “You’re here.”
I smile at that, walking into the room and turning to face him. He closes the door behind him and closes the space between us in a few steps. “I’ve missed you, Anna.”
I stare at him in silence, until he continues.
“When I killed for Mary, to avenge her, I never once thought I’d be losing the only woman I could ever see myself making my old lady. Fuckin’ marrying. I never even thought I’d ever get married in my life until I met you.”
He could see himself marrying me? I wanted that. More than I’d ever wanted anything.
“I missed you too, Arrow. I was just hurt. I needed to come to terms with the fact that I’d never meet my father, and that he’d never wanted me in the first place. My mind was everywhere, and I needed time to work through it all. I was mostly feeling sorry for myself, which was stupid. I didn’t mean to hurt you in the process, or to push you away. I forgive you, Arrow. You didn’t know who he was at the time; you didn’t even know me then. When I fell for you, I knew the man you are. I know what you’re capable of. I also know you would never hurt me.”
“Anna—”
“Nothing else matters, Arrow, except this,” I say, going up on my tiptoes and kissing his cheek. “This, what we have, I could never turn my back on it. I love you, Arrow.”
“You really forgive me?” he asks in a hope-filled tone.
I nod. “I knew that when I came to you, I’d have to have forgiven you fully, or this won’t work between us. But I have, Arrow.”