'It is hard for her,' Elfodd sighed, 'but believe me this is for the best. She wants to help him so badly, but her anxiety – so natural in a mother – can only make things worse. The Enemy will use it, you see. Doubt, fear, dread – it all feeds the curse.'
The abbot drew the chair close to the bed and settled himself for his vigil. 'Go now, Pelleas. Leave him to me; I will look after him.'
'I will stay,' I replied, 'as I have promised to do.'
'I honour the intent of your promise, but you will help your master the more by looking to your own health just now. Go to your rest. I will wake you if I need you.'
Though the sky still held light in the west, I went to my chamber and stretched myself on my pallet. I thought that I would not be able to sleep, but, closing my eyes, I felt the tide-pull overwhelm me and I knew no more.
In my sleep I entered that state where a human being stands closest to the Otherworld. The veil that separates the two worlds grew thin and I could sense the seething darkness that had enveloped the Tor. Deep, impenetrable, black as death, it was the shadow of a great ravening beast – a ghastly thing with wings and coils like a serpent, with which it bound the Tor and palace.
I could not see the unholy creature, but I could feel the bone-aching chill of its presence, and I heard the howl of its mindless hate. I quailed to think of the power that had called it into being and loosed it on the world.
But as darkly powerful as the hell-thing was, something held it at bay – something stronger still – though I could not see what it was.
Further I drifted in sleep, haze dimmed my inner sight, but my senses remained sharp – sharper than in waking life. I slept, but did not sleep. My soul-self remained alert within me and alive to the danger round about me.
Danger there was. Very great danger.
It seemed to me then as if I took wings and flew – for I sensed the earth rushing by beneath me: rock crags and broken hills, blurred to sight by the speed of my flight and the vaporous darkness. On and on, over this menacing landscape I flew, hastening onward, but not arriving.
Yet, when it seemed as if I must journey on this way for ever, I sensed a lightening in the strange obscurity around me. Light, faint and faded, tinted the black to grey.
Feeling the light on my eyes, I turned towards it and the grey cloudlike mist separated – darkness below, and light, thin but perceptible, above.
At the same moment, I became heavier; my limbs grew wooden and stiff. I began to fall back, plummeting down towards that sharp rockscape somewhere far below me. And, though I knew myself to be dreaming, it came into my mind that if I allowed myself to fall onto the cruel rocks, I would surely be crushed and killed.
I fought against the downward pull, flinging my arms and kicking my legs as if in swimming. I sank more quickly. The thought of the terrible rocks rushing up to meet me roused me to fury. I fought on, with all the strength I had.
I fell faster. My limbs began to ache with the effort and I knew I would not be able to continue much longer, but set my teeth, vowing to go on swimming and swimming until my muscles knotted up and I could no longer move.
On and on I went, struggling, striving, falling back and back. After what seemed an eternity I came at last to the end of my strength…
But, instead of falling, I felt myself rising.
I looked and saw that while I struggled the light had become brighter. Indeed, it was as if my feeble efforts had increased the light somehow. Inexplicably, I was being drawn upward by the light I had helped to magnify; the selfsame light that I helped generate was now saving me.
Very soon I came to a place where the light shone bright and unhindered. It was dazzling white, like the radiance of the morning sun on fresh snow. And, shielding my eyes with my hands, I looked back the way I had come and saw that I had not flown at all, nor struggled half so much as it seemed. For the light revealed a smooth, unbroken pathway along which I had been led… step by careful step.
And it came to me that this is how the spirit travels towards God: beginning its journey in darkness, setting off in danger and confusion, and struggling upward into the ever present light which draws it and upholds it always…
NINE
I awoke to a stream of sunlight in my room. I rose instantly. How long had I slept? It was daylight already!
But, even as the thought came into my head, the light faded, pearling to dawn. It was early yet.
I rose and hurried to Merlin's room, where I found Elfodd dozing lightly in his chair beside the bed. He started when I entered the room; he had not been asleep after all, merely bowed hi prayer.
'How is he?' I asked.
'The same,' the abbot told me. 'There has been no change.'
'I am here,' I said. 'I will watch with him now.'
He hesitated, reaching over to touch Merlin's hand. 'I will remain a little longer.'
'You have done your part, Elfodd,' I insisted gently. 'I am ready to do mine.'
The good abbot yawned and rose stiffly from the chair, pressing his hands to the small of his back. 'Very well, I will sleep a little,' he said as he moved away, 'that I may serve him the better.'
Chads appeared but a moment after Elfodd had gone. 'Oh,' she said softly, the glint of hope dying in her eyes as she beheld her son, 'I had hoped to see him awake.'
'So had I, my lady,' I replied. 'I had hoped to see the enchantment broken.'
Without another word, we began our vigil together.
For three days Merlin lay asleep under the wicked spell. We prayed, we read psalms to him, we invoked the protection of the Most High, we bathed him, anointed him, we spoke to him, filling his heart and ours with words of encouragement.
All the time he hung between life and death in that trance-like stupor. Whatever our fears, we did not allow them in the room with him, but put them off upon entering into his presence. In this way, he was surrounded always with hope and healing prayers.
On the evening of the third day, Elfodd returned from the abbey, where he had retired at daybreak, and brought with him twelve of his dearest, most blessed and holy brothers. They were men of solid faith, bold in belief, and wise to the wiles of the enemy. They had come from chapels, abbeys and monasteries both near and far – for word had gone out that Merlin had fallen under an enchantment and lay near death.
Avallach, pale and grim, received them solemnly in his hall and gave them bread, meat and wine to restore their strength for the work ahead.
Then Elfodd led them to Merlin's chamber where Charis waited. She saw the holy men and, thinking they had come to perform the rites for the dying, buried her face in her hands.
'Peace, sister,' Elfodd said, 'think not the worst. Rather take hope. For these men have come to help us. We contend not with flesh and blood. As our adversary is mighty, we must be mighty, too.
'It is three days, Charis, and we have not been able to loosen the evil enchantment's hold. Therefore I have summoned these good brothers to lend their aid to our struggle.'
Tears in her eyes, Charis nodded.
'Go you now,' Elfodd said, 'rest a little. Return when you have refreshed yourself.' The abbot motioned for me to accompany her.
'I will go with you, my lady,' I offered. 'Come.'
Taking her arm, I led her unresisting from the room. I saw her to her chamber and then went to the kitchens to request food to be brought to her. I returned to sit with her while she ate, and to see that she slept.
When the food arrived she glanced at the bowl and pushed it aside. I pushed it back before her, saying, 'You must eat something.' It hurt me to see her suffering so. 'It will not help him to weaken yourself- eat.'