He shakes his head no as he looks down at me. “You’ve shown me so much trust, Vivienne. More than any other woman ever has. However slowly you need to take this, it’s up to you. Always. All right?”
“All right.” And in that moment, I like Jonah so much that I nearly ask him to stay anyway.
But I don’t.
He locks the door on his way out. I can still hear his car pulling away as I drift into deep, fathomless sleep.
Twenty-three
Maybe it’s not a big deal that I didn’t ask Jonah to stay over the first night we had sex at my house. But the fact that it was the first time since we admitted we might mean something to each other—since I realized Jonah was a man I could come to care about deeply—
That feels important.
Usually this is the kind of thing I would share with Doreen. On Monday I might. But I already know where this will lead. Doreen will ask lots of leading questions meant to tell me what I already know: If I want to have a meaningful relationship with Jonah—an honest one—I have to tell him the whole truth about my rape fantasy. What an extreme fixation it is for me, how dirty it still makes me feel sometimes, and worst of all, what happened with Anthony.
I’m not ready to talk about any of that yet. I don’t think I’ll be ready to talk about Anthony ever.
So for now I just have to carry this weight around, and hope Jonah wasn’t too offended by my asking him to leave.
He shouldn’t be, though. I get the sense Jonah likes to run into locked doors once in a while, for the pleasure of kicking them open.
• • •
The next morning, when I park my car near campus and do the usual postdrive phone check, I see a text from Jonah: Call me when you get a chance.
Rather than walk to my office, I sit down on the nearest metal bench. It’s still strange to me that Jonah’s in my contacts. That he’s a guy I call in the middle of the day, like any other important person in my life.
Jonah answers almost immediately. “Vivienne.”
Still no hello. “Yeah. What’s up?”
“I just got a call to consult on locations for a deep-sea rig in the North Atlantic, off the coast of Scotland.”
“Wow. That’s the kind of thing you do in person?”
“Not necessarily. But they offered to fly me out there, and Scotland is one of the places I visit whenever I can. I’ll leave tonight.”
Jonah’s going away again. I’m glad he told me. I feel a pang at the thought of being without him, even for a few days. And yet I’m slightly freaked out that I already want him around all the time. “Thanks for letting me know. How long will you be gone?”
“About a week and a half. Do you think you could get some time off?”
“Wait. What?”
“I was asking if you’d like to come with me.”
“To Scotland?”
“An island just off the coast of the Highlands.” Jonah acts like he just invited me to the movies. “I realize it would take a couple of days for you to get things in order and join me—and I’ll be working—but we’d have some time away from it all.”
I can’t think of what to say. “I’m sorry, you surprised me. Seriously, you want me to come meet you across the Atlantic in a few days?”
“On the Isle of Skye. It’s a beautiful place, Vivienne. Stark and wild. Not everyone appreciates it, but I suspect you would.”
“But—a transatlantic flight—”
“It’s on me,” Jonah says. “I have the miles.”
You shouldn’t waste them on me, I nearly say, before I remember that one news story I read about his family. His late father was one of the founders of Oceanic Airlines. Not only is Jonah not short on money, but he also probably gets to fly himself or his friends for free whenever he wants.
That makes this invitation less of a splurge for him—but no less of a leap for us both.
I laugh in surprise. “You really know how to step it up for the second date.”
“I realize it’s unusual. But I wanted to ask.”
This is impossible, of course. I have a class to help teach, a dissertation to write, Shay to look after—
But a reckless whisper in my head answers, You’ve covered tons of classes for both Marvin and Keiko; they owe you, big-time. You ought to turn your dissertation over to your advisor for a preliminary look soon anyway. Shay’s not due for nearly another month. Arturo and Carmen are taking good care of her—Rosalind too—
Somehow I find myself saying, “Let me see if I can reschedule some things.”
“You’ll come?” Jonah sounds surprised, but in a good way.
“If I can make it work.”
He speaks with a knowing, arrogant assurance that should infuriate me. Instead it curls my toes within my ballet flats. “You can.”
“We’ll see!”
Five minutes later, as I walk into the departmental office, Kip glances over from his computer, eyebrow arched. “Well, well, well. I hear you’re painting the town red these days.”
“Huh?”
“A friend of mine who waits tables in the area reported seeing you and Jonah Marks strolling along Congress this weekend. Quite lovey-dovey, at least for Professor Marks, which means he seemed to acknowledge you were there.”
Does he have spies everywhere? The “campus Sauron” comparison is starting to feel a little too accurate. “Yeah, we went to dinner.”
“If he’s treating you right, I withdraw my earlier objections,” Kip says as he types something so quickly his orange nails fly across his computer keyboard. “But let it be known, if he breaks your heart, he’ll regret it.”
From anyone else, that would be pure bluster—some guy threatening to punch Jonah out, knowing full well this battle will never take place. From Kip? It means Jonah could find himself reassigned to a smaller office, denied a campus parking sticker, and God only knows what else. Could Kip derail Jonah’s chance at tenure? I wouldn’t put it past him. “Hey. Jonah’s been great, okay? No need to break out the nuclear option.”
“Yet,” Kip says with relish. “He remains under watch. Is he taking you on some other outing soon? I want to spy on you.”
Note to self: Never set up one of our “games” at any location where we could run into Kip. “Actually, now he wants to take me to Scotland. Can you help me clear next week?”
I really should’ve pulled out my phone before I said that, because the look on Kip’s face would make the greatest Vine ever.
“Wait. Hold everything.” Kip clasps the desk as if he thinks he might fall down. “Did you say he wants to take you to Scotland?”
“He’s going tonight, but he wants me to meet him over there in a couple of days. Probably I could leave on Saturday, if I get somebody to cover my classes early next week. But getting out of the departmental meeting, making sure I can move my appointment with Dr. McFadden—”
“Scotland as in another country, across the ocean?” Kip shows no sign of recovering from the shock anytime soon.
I shrug. “I realize it’s kind of extravagant for a second date.”
Kip is one of the only people who might realize that Jonah and I have a connection that dates further back than our evening out on Congress, but he’s too bowled over to catch it. “Kind of? He wants to whisk you away to foreign parts for glamorous locations, uninhibited vacation sex—”
Jonah and I don’t wait for vacations to be uninhibited. I have to smile. “He’s traveling for work, so I’ll probably be on my own most of the time. Still, I’d like to go. Can you help me out?”
“Of course I can, sweetie. Just give me a moment.” He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes deep breaths, like someone trying not to faint. “My God. You’ve ensnared the most elusive man in Texas. Tamed the untamable. It’s like I’m talking to the big game hunter who brought down the yeti.”