IN A BOAT ABOUT TO DROWN
BOAT’S DON’T DROWN. PEOPLE DROWN. Boats sink. Something happens, then boats take on water, then they sink. They sink right to the bottom. The people on the boat try to keep the boat from sinking. They take measures. They use words like bow, stern, starboard and port. These words mean front, rear, right, and left. They use these words all the time, even when the boat is not sinking. When the boat is sinking they take measures. They make calls. They might even bail water. Then they put on lifejackets. Then they float around until someone comes by to pick them up. The people who come by to pick them up are called rescuers. They know to come by because they have been signaled. They are signaled through direct radio contact or by Morse code. Morse code, in telegraphy, is a series of dots and dashes that indicate different letters of the alphabet. S.O.S is the most famous code sent, which means Save Our Ship. People say it doesn’t actually mean Save Our Ship but what do they know. Mayday means the same thing. Why is not clear. It might have something to do with French. Rescuers are given positions of longitude and latitude. They say that rats are the first ones off a sinking ship, but unless they are extraordinary swimmers it does them little good. The rats are neither here nor there. The people rescued are called survivors. They are called the lucky ones. The unlucky ones are called victims. These are the people who are subject to float around with no one coming by to pick them up. Sharks attack them or the sun beats down on them or else it is freezing cold and they get what is called hypothermia. Hypothermia is a state of reduced body temperature wherein all bodily functions are slowed. Then they freeze to death. Then they are recovered. People can either be rescued or recovered. Survivors or victims. However, there are victims who are never recovered, their bodies. These are the people lost at sea. There are songs written about them. Boats are lost at sea, too. They are mentioned in the same songs. Drowning is different. Drowning is for people who can’t swim or who can no longer swim due to injury or exhaustion, or people who choose not to swim. Something happens, then they take on water, then they drown. They sink right to the bottom. The water can be deep or shallow, rough or calm. There is little difference. Water fills the lungs making life at first difficult, then impossible, to sustain.
PRIAPISM
THE MAN HAS AN ERECTION AND THE WOMAN IS LOCKED IN THE BATHROOM. The children are downstairs playing with toys. The dog is in the yard. The back door has been left open and the light in the hallway is on and so is the television in the living room. There is a roast in the oven. The kitchen table is set.
The man loses his erection. The woman emerges from the bathroom. She is clothed.
It’s gone away.
I was in the bathroom.
What were you doing in there?
I was doing what I do in there.
That again.
What’s gone away?
The man has something that looks like an erection but doesn’t feel like an erection. It doesn’t feel like anything. It feels like it belongs to someone else. It is someone else’s erection. The woman is locked in the bathroom. The children are playing with the dog in the yard. There is a new pool out there. The children and the dog are swimming and throwing balls around for each other to retrieve. The back door has been left open. The light in the hallway is on and so is the television in the living room. There is a roast in the oven. The kitchen table is set.
The man knocks on the bathroom door.
I have an erection.
What? I am in the bathroom.
When are you coming out?
Do you need to use the bathroom?
Why can’t you hear me?
I’m drying my hair.
You’re what?
I’m in the bathroom drying my hair.
I thought it was something else.
What did you say?
I have someone else’s erection out here.
The man has an erection. He has one. There is nothing noteworthy about the erection. It’s his. The woman is locked in the bathroom. There’s no telling what she’s doing in there. She is always in there and no one knows what she does. There are no children downstairs playing with toys. The man and woman are barren. They tried this position and that one, mornings with her on top, evenings with them sideways, boxers, vitamins, supplements, acupuncture, appointments, specialists, tests. They sought second and third opinions. The dog is in the yard. The back door has been left open. The light is on in the hallway but not the television in the living room. The house is quiet. There is nothing in the oven. The kitchen table is not set.
The man studies his erection. He assigns it a 6 on a ten-point scale. It is purple and angry but leans left toward pathetic. The woman comes from the bathroom naked except for a towel wrapped round her head.
Is dinner almost ready?
I think so.
I’m not even that hungry.
Neither am I.
I’ll go check then.
The man has an erection. He has one and there is no reason for it. The woman is locked in the bathroom. The lock is new. The woman had a locksmith over and he put a lock on. The man came home one day to a new lock on the bathroom door. There is a roast in the oven. The man bought the roast at the supermarket and not the butcher’s. The man and butcher had a consultation this time last year. The butcher bled the man’s nose in front of two old ladies and a brisket. This is what happened. The woman read an article in a magazine concerning protein and sperm count. The man was not to eat meat for two months. The butcher misunderstood the man, what he’d said regarding meat and sperm count. Then the consultation. The light is on in the hallway and so is the television in the living room. The kitchen table is set.
The man hides his erection under his shirt. The woman comes from the bathroom without clothes.
What is this?
I’m ready.
You checked yourself?
I’m ripe.
You did the thing with the thing?
Stay right there.
I shall.
Whose is this?
The man has an erection, but barely. There is not much this erection could be expected to do. It resembles a magazine that fell into the bath and died there. The woman is locked in the bathroom. Before, one could walk in on another in the middle of anything, in the middle of functions. This only happened once or twice, but it happened. The dog was put down last year. The dog was old and had to be put down.
The man knocks on the bathroom door.
Will you come out of there already?
I don’t appreciate this.
What don’t you appreciate?
This.
The man has an erection. This is his compass erection. This is the one that can take an eye out at twenty paces. There is no reason for this one to come along now. No magazine, no denied proteins, no minerals, no prolonged abstinence could explain this erection. The woman is locked in the bathroom. She is in there. The back door has been left open. The children are in the pool swimming and playing ball. The roast is burning in the oven. The kitchen table is set.
The man contemplates his erection. He wants to paint it different colors, colors an Indian chief would wear during battle. The woman emerges from the bathroom wearing a nightgown.
Where is the dog?
In the yard?
Are you asking me or telling me?
The dog is in the yard.
Is dinner almost ready?
Dinner.