I tell this to the dog. I tell him it’s a good idea, that something will come of this. He agrees by hovering over his bowl and lapping up blood.
THE TREES UNDERGROUND:
A NOVELLA IN SHORTS
MAN ON BUS WITH BLINDSTERS
BLIND BETTY SAYS THE TOXINS ARE TOXIC and that if we breathed in our lungs would bleed out our earballs. She’s fingered all the Braille books on anatomy so she knows about these things she says. The floors though the floors would shine like pool water like a mirror ball and so that might be worth a lung or two maybe is what she says. Think of it like consumption Blind Betty says. The people they buy whatever it is the neighbors throw away. That’s consumption I say. Floors you could skate on is how Blind Betty puts it. You could see yourself in them floors she says. Then that ugly mirror over the fireplace could go into the fireplace and cook to a burnished kindling is what I say to her but she didn’t even know about that ugly mirror in the first place. I don’t know where it is this bus is going but Blind Betty says they are bussing us away from the toxins. I haven’t been home since they promised to pay me to walk these blindsters around so they won’t bump into things and crack their heads open. I haven’t seen my TV or refrigerator since the blindsters neither. Blind Betty has never been home so I tell her stories about the TV and refrigerator. How that the TV it squeals like a wounded bird and the refrigerator light never turns off. I took out all the racks once and squeezed myself in to make sure. She says I probably belong somewhere else but I’d miss it just the same. I think she means home and not the refrigerator but she’s blind so you don’t know. She says I was made to work with the less fortunate. I say unfortunately she’s true and that I could understand her mistake. They sent me here to help blindsters for which they promise to pay me for in money and food. I don’t know when they’ll send me back home they haven’t said. I don’t think they are concerned with sending me back home. Home is where the refrigerator and defective TV is and here is where the blindsters and toxins is. That’s the difference how you tell them apart. The job is easy except for walking the blindsters around and I don’t like it when they make me go out to the shed for wood to burn. They can’t ask Blind Betty or any blind boys to go so it’s me they ask. They promise me money for this but they haven’t paid me once yet. I think what it is I do here I do for free. I tell this to Blind Betty but what she says back is curse words. Nobody here likes Blind Betty and this is why I think. The last time I went out to the shed for wood to burn I hit my head on the shed door and bled all over the wood. When I got back no one could see I was maimed and I didn’t tell no one neither. So there I was with my head cracked open walking blindsters around obstacles and land mines. The land mines can be anywhere so you have to watch when you walk. Meantime the wood’s got things like termites and maggots or faggots or whatever Blind Betty calls them. Blind Betty says the neighbor was a gay faggot and that you could tell by what he throwed away. Blind Betty is blind so sometimes she says gay faggots and sometimes she says fay gaggots so you don’t know which is which. Only fay gaggots throw away imitation fox stoles and eat up firewood in the shed. Me I don’t know about these things. I don’t know what good shiny floors are to blindsters or why they pay me to fetch wood to burn or ride on buses. I don’t know when they’ll send me home but it could be when the faggots eat out the bloody wood or when the toxins aren’t toxic anymore. On this bus with blindsters I’ll likely be home when I get home.
MAN IN THE MIDDLE OF MONKEY IN THE MIDDLE
PITY JIMMY WAS BORN THE WAY HE WAS. The people around here say that sometimes and now I say it too. Pity Jimmy is one of the blindsters they pay me to walk around obstacles and land mines. The land mines can be anywhere so you have to watch out when you walk. The other day Blind Betty stepped on a roller skate and cracked her head open on the shiny new floor. They did up the floors so you could see yourself in them now. I never see myself in the floor but they said I could if I looked. They said the floors shine like pool water like a mirror ball and you can skate on them floors if you’re not careful. It’s funny they say you can skate on them floors because they don’t even mean with Pity Jimmy’s roller skates. Thing about Blind Betty cracking her head open is she wasn’t supposed to be walking around without me to walk her. Blind Betty is blind and is liable to bump into things and crack her head open without someone to walk her which is what they promise to pay me for. That and it was Pity Jimmy’s roller skate she tripped over. I don’t know why they let Pity Jimmy have roller skates because he’s as blind as the day he was born. They all of them gave me what-for when Blind Betty cracked her head open. This is not what we pay you for is what they said. I think I shook my head yes but they haven’t been paid me yet not once. So they were all angry with me except for the blindsters. The blindsters don’t like it when I walk them around and they don’t like Blind Betty even more. I don’t remember what it is I was doing when Blind Betty cracked her head open but it wasn’t my fault neither. Blind Betty knows not to walk around without me to walk her. She knows they did up the floors to shine like pool water like a mirror ball and that you could skate on them floors if you’re not careful. Out of all the blindsters that don’t like Blind Betty it’s Jimmy that don’t like her best. Pity Jimmy says Blind Betty was born an agent orange of evil. He says she was born in the fire and brimstone hour. Me I was born in the middle of monkey in the middle. Pity Jimmy says that to me but doesn’t say what it means. Pity Jimmy always talks about people and when or how they were born. Everyone thinks there’s something wrong with Pity Jimmy. They say things like pity Jimmy was born the way he was and they don’t mean that he was born blind neither. Pity Jimmy rocks back and forth like he’s in a rocking chair standing up and he’s always trying to snap his fingers but never makes any snapping sounds. He’s always jerking his head around like there’s a gnat flying in his face too. This is why they say what they say about Pity Jimmy. This and that he talks about how and when people were born all the time. It’s the only thing he says about people be they blindsters or regular. Hear tell folks born half past the witch hazel hour and born without the sense of a Cotton-Eyed Joe and born with their foot greased up on mutton stew. There’s no way Pity Jimmy can know what monkey in the middle is neither. I ain’t seen the blindsters play monkey in the middle and I don’t think they can. They can’t know who’s in the middle or how high to throw the ball so the monkey can’t get it or how to catch it even. This is why I think Pity Jimmy left that roller skate out for Blind Betty to trip and crack her head open. I think Pity Jimmy knows things about people like when they were born or how they like to walk with no one else there to walk them. I think Pity Jimmy knows they’ll send me back home for things like not walking Blind Betty around. Thing about Pity Jimmy is he was smiling when they told us the news about Blind Betty cracking her head open. He was smiling and rocking and snapping his fingers back and forth and you could see him trying to picture Blind Betty tripping and falling and cracking her head open and this is what happens to you when you’re born an agent orange of evil. He may’ve even been looking over at me and signing run monkey run with his snapping fingers. You can’t tell with him sometimes because he’s blind. Me I don’t know if blindsters can do sign language or know about how and when people were born. Maybe Pity Jimmy didn’t say or sign any of this out loud but you know he was thinking it.