She saw the man who had left, by his reflection on Ken Danagger’s face. It was not the face she had seen in the courtroom, it was not the face she had known for years as a countenance of unchanging, unfeeling rigidity—it was a face which a young man of twenty should hope for, but could not achieve, a face from which every sign of strain had been wiped out, so that the lined cheeks, the creased forehead, the graying hair—like elements rearranged by a new theme—were made to form a composition of hope, eagerness and guiltless serenity: the theme was deliverance.
He did not rise when she entered—he looked as if he had not quite returned to the reality of the moment and had forgotten the proper routine—but he smiled at her with such simple benevolence that she found herself smiling in answer. She caught herself thinking that this was the way every human being should greet another—and she lost her anxiety, feeling suddenly certain that all was well and that nothing to be feared could exist.
“How do you do, Miss Taggart,” he said. “Forgive me, I think that I have kept you waiting. Please sit down.” He pointed to the chair in front of his desk.
“I didn’t mind waiting,” she said. “I’m grateful that you gave me this appointment. I was extremely anxious to speak to you on a matter of urgent importance.”
He leaned forward across the desk, with a look of attentive concentration, as he always did at the mention of an important business matter, but she was not speaking to the man she knew, this was a stranger, and she stopped, uncertain about the arguments she had been prepared to use.
He looked at her in silence, and then he said, “Miss Taggart, this is such a beautiful day—probably the last, this year. There’s a thing I’ve always wanted to do, but never had time for it. Let’s go back to New York together and take one of those excursion boat trips around the island of Manhattan. Let’s take a last look at the greatest city in the world.”
She sat still, trying to hold her eyes fixed in order to stop the office from swaying. This was the Ken Danagger who had never had a personal friend, had never married, had never attended a play or a movie, had never permitted anyone the impertinence of taking his time for any concern but business.
“Mr. Danagger, I came here to speak to you about a matter of crucial importance to the future of your business and mine. I came to speak to you about your indictment.”
“Oh, that? Don’t worry about that. It doesn’t matter. I’m going to retire.”
She sat still, feeling nothing, wondering numbly whether this was how it felt to hear a death sentence one had dreaded, but had never quite believed possible.
Her first movement was a sudden jerk of her head toward the exit door; she asked, her voice low, her mouth distorted by hatred, “Who was he?”
Danagger laughed. “If you’ve guessed that much, you should have guessed that it’s a question I won’t answer.”
“Oh God, Ken Danagger!” she moaned; his words made her realize that the barrier of hopelessness, of silence, of unanswered questions was already erected between them; the hatred had been only a thin wire that had held her for a moment and she broke with its breaking.
“Oh God!”
“You’re wrong, kid,” he said gently. “I know how you feel, but you’re wrong,” then added more formally, as if remembering the proper manner, as if still trying to balance himself between two kinds of reality, “I’m sorry, Miss Taggart, that you had to come here so soon after.”
“I came too late,” she said. “That’s what I came here to prevent. I knew it would happen.”
“Why?”
“I felt certain that he’d get you next, whoever he is.”
“You did? That’s funny. I didn’t.”
“I wanted to warn you, to... to arm you against him.”
He smiled. “Take my word for it, Miss Taggart, so that you won’t torture yourself with regrets about the timing; that could not have been done.”
She felt that with every passing minute he was moving away into some great distance where she would not be able to reach him, but there was still some thin bridge left between them and she had to hurry.
She leaned forward, she said very quietly, the intensity of emotion taking form in the exaggerated steadiness of her voice, “Do you remember what you thought and felt, what you were, three hours ago? Do you remember what your mines meant to you? Do you remember Taggart Transcontinental or Rearden Steel? In the name of that, will you answer me? Will you help me to understand?”
“I will answer whatever I may.”
“You have decided to retire? To give up your business?”
“Yes.”
“Does it mean nothing to you now?”
“It means more to me now than it ever did before.”
“But you’re going to abandon it?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“That, I won’t answer.”
“You, who loved your work, who respected nothing but work, who despised every kind of aimlessness, passivity and renunciation—have you renounced the kind of life you loved?”
“No. I have just discovered how much I do love it.”
“But you intend to exist without work or purpose?”
“What makes you think that?”
“Are you going into the coal-mining business somewhere else?”
“No, not into the coal-mining business.”
“Then what are you going to do?”
“I haven’t decided that yet.”
“Where are you going?”
“I won’t answer.”
She gave herself a moment’s pause, to gather her strength, to tell herself: Don’t feel, don’t show him that you feel anything, don’t let it cloud and break the bridge—then she said, in the same quiet, even voice, “Do you realize what your retirement will do to Hank Rearden, to me, to all the rest of us, whoever is left?”
“Yes. I realize it more fully than you do at present.”
“And it means nothing to you?”
“It means more than you will care to believe.”
“Then why are you deserting us?”
“You will not believe it and I will not explain, but I am not deserting you.”
“We’re being left to carry a greater burden, and you’re indifferent to the knowledge that you’ll see us destroyed by the looters.”
“Don’t be too sure of that.”
“Of which? Your indifference or our destruction?”
“Of either.”
“But you know, you knew it this morning, that it’s a battle to the death, and it’s we—you were one of us—against the looters.”
“If I answer that I know it, but you don’t—you’ll think that I attach no meaning to my words. So take it as you wish, but that is my answer.”
“Will you tell me the meaning?”
“No. It’s for you to discover.”
“You’re willing to give up the world to the looters. We aren’t.”
“Don’t be too sure of either.”
She remained helplessly silent. The strangeness of his manner was its simplicity; he spoke as if he were being completely natural and—in the midst of unanswered questions and of a tragic mystery—he conveyed the impression that there were no secrets any longer, and no mystery need ever have existed.
But as she watched him, she saw the first break in his joyous calm: she saw him struggling against some thought; he hesitated, then said, with effort, “About Hank Rearden... Will you do me a favor?”
“Of course.”
“Will you tell him that I... You see, I’ve never cared for people, yet he was always the man I respected, but I didn’t know until today that what I felt was... that he was the only man I ever loved...
Just tell him this and that I wish I could—no, I guess that’s all I can tell him... He’ll probably damn me for leaving... still, maybe he won’t.”
“I’ll tell him.”
Hearing the dulled, hidden sound of pain in his voice, she felt so close to him that it seemed impossible he would deliver the blow he was delivering—and she made one last effort.
“Mr. Danagger, if I were to plead on my knees, if I were to find some sort of words that I haven’t found—would there be... is there a chance to stop you?”