Jack walked across the room bridging the distance between them. “I have never slept with her before,” he said emphasizing each word perfectly. “She was a mistake. It wasn’t supposed to happen. She just happened to be there.”
Lexi looked up into his beautiful blue eyes unable to believe some of things that were coming out of his mouth. Did he think that he was somehow improving his case?
Her breath hitched as he took one last step entering her personal space. She could feel the heat radiating off of his body. His hair fell into his eyes as he tilted his head to look into her face. She wanted to scream, yell, and run in the opposite direction, but her feet seemed to be shuffling the wrong way. His hand came up and cupped her chin tilting her head further so he could bend down and press his lips gently to hers.
Wrenching free from his touch, she stumbled across the room. She couldn’t believe how easily he overpowered her senses. Her heart was racing, but surprisingly not from the feel of his lips. She had never felt such anger over a kiss from Jack. He knew what he was doing and how she completely lacked composure around him. Except this time Lexi wasn’t going to let him win. She needed to talk to him and she needed answers.
“Who is going to happen to be there next time?” she spat at him, her eyes narrowing. “Stella happened to be there when you needed someone, but you could have easily called me and I would have come to you. I would have been there, but you didn’t want me there. You wanted to fuck something meaningless because you are too fucking afraid to let me in.”
“Lexi,” he interjected hoping to reason with her. He took another step forward nearly cornering her.
“Goddamnit, Jack! Don’t you take one more step towards me,” she yelled, her arms extending to push him away from her if necessary. “I need to have this conversation with you, not get lost in your stupid blue eyes.”
He smirked despite her seriousness. “Stupid blue eyes? I thought you liked them.”
Lexi glared. “Cut it out.”
“Fine. Sorry,” he mumbled.
They both stared at the floor not sure what the next course of action should be. Lexi felt numb from everything she had heard. Her body, which had already been aching from her run, hurt all over. She just wanted to cry, but at the same time, she felt as if she had no more tears left. Maybe if he had broken up with her, she could have cried. But not over this. She just hurt from this.
“Where do we go from here?” she asked him afraid of the answer.
“I was going to ask you the same thing.”
Lexi raised her head and stared at the man she had loved for close to four years. Could she give up everything over a one night stand? Was she really a hypocrite for being angry at him for sleeping with someone else? It’s not like they had set any boundaries, any rules. She had assumed that was a given. But then again, she had been on the other end of this scenario with his last two girlfriends. It only made sense for him not to know what the rules were, especially if he still had it in his mind that they weren’t officially together.
But that did not excuse how he was treating her.
“I think you should leave,” she finally said.
“I told you it was up to you whether or not we kept this going,” he mumbled crossing the room to the doorway.
“I didn’t say that I’d made a decision,” she said stopping him with his hand on the knob.
He turned around and looked at her wistfully. “You mean...”
“I mean you should get the fuck out, because I don’t want to see you for the next month or so, I’m so angry at you.” He hung his head. “But I doubt I’d ever make it a month after what we’ve been through.” His blue eyes looked up at her, hope apparent throughout the irises. “But I can’t look at you right now. I feel sick to my stomach at the sight of you. You don’t care about me, Jack. Or at least not enough to ignore a girl when she spreads her legs for you. I don’t know if that is enough for me. Don’t come back until you have something better to tell me.”
When Jack left her dorm, Lexi felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. She collapsed back against the couch and stared at the door he exited until her eyes stung from not blinking enough. What had she done? What had he made her do? How could he force her hand in such a way? So many questions ran through her mind. She didn’t know which to focus on first.
What she did know was that he had hurt her...he had hurt her worse than ever before.
And she had meant what she said. She couldn’t look at him right now without hurting. She felt betrayed because of him sleeping with Stella, but she was just as angry with herself. When he had given her a chance for them to be together, she had been scared and thought it would be safer to try it out without an official title. Look how that had back fired in her face.
She had made up her mind a long time ago that Jack was the only man for her. If they had gotten through this far, then they could make it through anything. But he had been with Stella, when he had known he could have her. What kind of guy does that?
She shook her head. She had been in that exact position on a number of occasions with Clark. She knew how easy it could be to escape with Jack when she couldn’t be around Clark. As wrong as she knew it was, she hadn’t been able to stop herself. She had always thought that desperation came from wanting Jack. Perhaps he had always done it because he enjoyed the cloak and dagger effect of hiding and running away from his life with her.
Was that all she had been for all those years?
She couldn’t be sure.
Lexi wasn’t sure how many hours had passed as she sat rooted to her place on the sofa. Claire and Elizabeth moseyed in at some point chatting about how amazingly wild Chyna’s party had been. They attempted to coax a response out of her, but she sat like a statue as they carried on about their night. Rachelle eventually resurfaced and, after seeing the blank look on Lexi’s face, ushered the others out of the living room. Lexi didn’t even have a smile for her, though she did appreciate the gesture. She did not, however, appreciate Rachelle’s own efforts to find out what had happened between her and Jack. Lexi just glared at her as she rattled off outrageous scenarios.
“Get the fuck out of here, Ray,” she growled speaking for the first time.
“This isn’t healthy. I wasn’t sure if you even could speak. If you won’t speak to me, I’m calling Chyna and getting her over here. Maybe she can talk some sense into you,” she grumbled stomping into Lexi’s room.
Lexi didn’t even have the energy to stop her. What did it matter if Chyna came over? That wasn’t bringing Jack back to her and if it did, it wasn’t going to take back what had happened last night. She continued staring forward at the TV which, at some point, had been switched on to a terrible Soap Opera. She didn’t recognize what was going on and after a couple minutes all the colors began to blur together. She knew her roommates were talking about her in the other room, but she couldn’t concentrate enough to make out what they were saying. It didn’t matter anyway.
“Oh, honey,” Chyna cried as soon as she burst through the door. She rushed across the room and sat on the couch next to Lexi. “What happened to you?” Lexi felt her wrap her arms around her and squeeze. She let her, but it still didn’t matter. “How long has she been like this?” Chyna anxiously questioned glancing over the couch at her worried roommates.
Claire shrugged and glanced towards Rachelle who answered, “I’m not sure. Jack left around eleven. I heard the door slam. I guess since then.”
“Eleven in the morning?” she screeched. “And you’re just calling me now? Why it’s nearly six o’clock.”
That surprised Lexi. She hadn’t realized she had been here that long...an hour at the most. Where had the time gone? Had Jack called? She didn’t ask any of these questions, just remained seated staring blankly ahead.