Not joy. Not pain. Not love. Not hate.
Nothing.
She didn’t know if Tristan cared for the redhead he’d kissed, or if he’d just wanted Scarlet to assume he cared. But either way, Tristan had wanted to hurt her. And the revelation had changed her.
A switch had gone off inside Scarlet, extinguishing the light of Tristan and leaving her dark and numb. Safe from pain.
She no longer loved Tristan because she no longer loved anything.
That is the beauty of a heart that no longer feels.
CHAPTER 25
Boston 1895
“You know,” Gabriel mused as Scarlet lined up another arrow, aimed, and released. “Most women pass their time walking with parasols and visiting dance halls.”
She pulled another arrow. “Most women are boring.”
Drawing back on her bow, she released the arrow into the long hall before her and watched as it pierced the target ahead.
“Very true. There is nothing boring about an armed woman. Alarming, perhaps. But certainly never boring.”
Scarlet lowered her bow. “What are you doing here, Gabriel?”
“Watching you shoot arrows.”
After the Tristan Incident—that’s what she was calling it, the Tristan Incident—Scarlet refused to be codependent ever again. She had precious few years to live and she wanted to make the best of it—without the assistance of over-protective immortals.
So she’d bought her own home and she made her own friends. She made a life for herself and for the first time in all her centuries, Scarlet felt like an adult. She needed no one, so she never sought out Nate or Gabriel.
Though that didn’t stop them from coming to her.
Nate visited once a week to draw her blood. He was working on a vaccine, hoping to cure Scarlet through medicine. She had no such hopes, but she let him draw her blood anyway.
But Gabriel visited her every other day and almost always commented on how odd it was for a woman to convert her home’s hallway into an archery range. It was dreadfully annoying.
But it was also the only thing Scarlet looked forward to each week.
She didn’t want him in her life, yet she felt empty when he was not there. Something about his patience and crooked smile made Scarlet feel loved and undamaged. And dammit if those weren’t two things she wanted more than anything.
Not that she’d ever let Gabriel know that. This life—her life—was for her alone. No broken hearts. No maddening curses. No gray love. She just wanted…simple. And so she had built herself a simple little life and pretended to be annoyed with Gabriel’s incessant drop-ins.
“Don’t you have better things to do than loiter in my home?” Scarlet asked.
He smiled. “Would you like me to leave?”
No!
Scarlet hurried to shut off her ridiculously needy heart.
Numb. I want to be numb.
“You may stay if you wish, but do not expect me to entertain you.”
“Too late.” His smile grew. “I miss you, Scarlet.”
She wished he would not say such things to her when she was trying to be numb. Words had a way of making her heart stir and Scarlet didn’t want to feel her heart. Not now. Not ever again.
She said nothing, mostly because she could not trust her traitorous heart to speak coldly to the loving man who so wished to make her life beautiful and was so desperate for love himself.
“So,” he continued, unfazed by her lack of response. “I was thinking we could travel somewhere. Would you like to see Paris?”
“No.”
“Would you like to go to a play with me?”
“No.”
“Would you like to shut yourself up in your house and pretend as though you are someone else? Or at least no longer you?” He smiled.
Yes. Exactly.
How did he know that?
“Scarlet.” He walked up to her. “You can shut me out forever. That’s fine. But I will always be here. Not because I think you need me, but because I love you.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek, and Scarlet’s eyes fell shut at the contact.
She missed him. She loved him.
But she wasn’t ready to feel again.
Was she?
She opened her eyes but Gabriel was already gone.
CHAPTER 26
Boston 1896
Scarlet stood on Gabriel’s doorstep. She didn’t know why she was here. She knew why she wasn’t at home, but she still wasn’t sure why her feet had brought her to Gabriel’s.
She had not seen or heard from Tristan since the night of his fight and had not shed a tear since the same night. Her numb heart kept away the pain, setting her free of love.
But freedom felt a lot like death.
Empty. Numb.
Scarlet bit her lip as she looked at Gabriel’s door. She should knock. She should go back home.
He wanted to care for her. Heal her. Love her.
Even when Scarlet would push away his patient heart, his patient heart would come right back. The nothingness she felt was safe, but it was also empty. She was empty. Just like Gabriel.
She knocked on the door.
He answered and a pleasant smile spread across his face as he ushered her inside and closed the door. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She fidgeted for a moment, shifting her weight from side to side as they stood in silence.
Gabriel waited patiently, smile still in place.
“I don’t need anyone,” she blurted.
“I know.”
“But I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” He looked at her with his loving brown eyes.
He wanted love and she no longer wanted to be numb.
It was gray. It was completely gray.
But gray was better than empty.
So she kissed him.
Because this was not a time for safety or confusion. This was a time for healing. And they were both so broken.
He hesitated for a moment, then kissed her back. Fully, completely, honestly. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her up against him and Scarlet no longer felt numb.
CHAPTER 27
Boston 1897
Tristan was back to shooting arrows at trees to ease his restless heart. The night after his kiss with Alex, he’d lost his first fight in decades.
He didn’t want to fight back. He didn’t want to fight at all.