“True and they’re damn good at it too. Better than me if truth be told but here’s the thing and it may only be true for me. And this is only between you and me. I think the only reason I’m still around is because I’ve been allowed to lead in times past. I think if I’d had to follow all of the time, I wouldn’t have made if this far. Don’t ask me why because I don’t really know that one myself. I just know it,” I say. “There are times when I know when I have to do something alone because I don’t want the distraction of worrying about others; because I know the skills I have will be enough to see the task done. But there are also times when I know I need others and I want them and their individual skills and gifts. Each and every one has their own special gift which can save your life without you even knowing it. A team blends and becomes a single entity made up of all of those skills. That’s what a leader does and is, a person that is a catalyst that allows those skills to blend into one and the one others look for to make a decision. It sometimes doesn’t matter what the decision is as long as it appears it is the right one and makes sense; as long as a decision is made,” I say feeling winded but trying to impart what little wisdom I might possess. I might also just be adding a lot of hot air to an already warm day. Maybe I was the one who single-handedly brought on global warming just by talking. It’s possible.
“It doesn’t matter what the decision is, just make one. Talk about it or think about it later, right?” He says with a smile. The smile is because that’s something I used to say to him a lot when he was younger and couldn’t make a decision. It’s good to know that some of what I’ve said in the past has been heard.
“Exactly,” I reply.
“Remember when I would stand in the candy bar aisle forever and couldn’t decide which one to get. You’d say, ‘Just pick one. If you get home and feel you wanted the other, well, then you’ll know next time right’,” he says.
“Yeah, maybe I was a little hard on you sometimes. I just didn’t want to stand in that candy bar aisle forever and we would have. And you, young lass,” I say looking at Bri, “we did spend days with you trying to decide.” Bri smiles thinking back to those days.
“I just don’t know how to become a leader like the others,” Robert says.
“First of all, you already have. Or at least started,” I say. “You both have.”
“How so?” Robert asked puzzled. Bri tilts her head to the side puzzled as well.
“Well, who flew us here making decisions and delegating tasks? Who made the hard decisions on a pretty significant weather divert?” I ask rhetorically.
“But that’s different,” Robert says.
“My turn. How so?” I ask.
“Because I knew how to fly it and get us here,” he answers.
“Bingo. You knew how to do something and how to use the skills of others to get to a certain place,” I say. “It’s no different than leading in other circumstances. If you know something with some degree of intimacy, you can lead in it. That’s why I give you both the additional training, so you can learn how to do something. You need to think along those lines when we’re training, that you’re learning something that you can lead others in. And you Bri, you know the systems and are teaching others and leading them. It’s all the same thing.”
“But there are others who know how to do things and can’t lead. And some who the others don’t want to follow,” Bri says.
“That’s very true. You have to have a degree of understanding others and what they’re going through. Every person is different.
They have different experiences and ways of dealing with shit, and you have to find out how they respond effectively. You have to show that you have a measure of compassion without it interfering with your task. Sometimes you have to tell people to just suck it up. You’re their leader, not their best friend. The bottom line, however, is if people believe you will get them through a situation, they’ll follow you through it. Show you care about them at the same time and they’ll follow you anywhere,” I reply.
“Makes sense,” Robert says. “How do you learn that though?”
“Study people and watch their reactions to different things. And don’t ever fake compassion or understanding. People, especially soldiers, will see through that in a heartbeat. Always be yourself. The other thing with regards to leading is always study past actions in your head. Study mistakes and the things done right. Analyze every detail and think how you could or would have done it differently. Think up scenarios, not matter how wild or crazy, and think your way through it. If you come to an impasse, back up and rethink it. Throw odd shit in on the fly and think about how to take care of it. Think on it until your response becomes instinctual because there are many times you won’t get to think it through, you’ll only have time to react,” I say. The both sit quietly with the gears turning in their heads. Heat waves shimmer in the distance turning the end of the runway and the buildings beyond into a blur.
“One last thing, no matter how right you do things, you may lose people. That’s just a fact. You can’t account for every variable. That doesn’t mean you did it wrong. Although you may feel bad, it doesn’t always mean you did something wrong. Analyze it as with anything else but move on. If you think too much about one life that is lost, you’ll forget about those who are still living,” I add watching the shimmers dance. “Don’t forget, just forgive.”
“Lynn always says that you’re too hard on yourself and blame yourself when we’ve lost people in the past,” Bri says.
“She told you that?” I ask.
“No, I’ve just heard her talking to herself when she didn’t know I was around,” Bri answers.
“Well, you take my advice on this one because I obviously have no use for it,” I reply.
“Haha, very funny, Dad,” Bri says.
“Hey, they can’t all be gems,” I say.
“And in your case, none of them can,” Greg says. We all turn to see him standing at the top of the ramp.
“Don’t you have a hole you have to go fall in?” I say waving him beside us.
“See, your proving my point,” he says walking down and sitting.
“You good?” I ask Robert.
“I’m good,” he answers.
“Are you up for talking about things and planning some?” I ask Greg.
“Anytime,” he answers.
“Okay, I want you to play devil’s advocate to a degree and let’s talk our way through this, especially the jump,” I say.
“No worries on that as I’m already a little leery of it,” Greg says.
“We have a waxing moon past half so if it remains clear, we should have some light to guide us,” I say beginning. “So let’s look at that for starters.”
“Day versus night?” I ask.
“Well, day is better to jump for obvious reasons. We can guide in better and allow for any alterations earlier but we can be seen and they may even notice the aircraft overhead. Night is riskier, again for obvious reasons, but they will most likely be inside and won’t see either us or the aircraft. Plus, if they are inside, any aircraft noise will be hidden. Not like they can hear one that high anyway,” Greg answers.
“How about a sunset drop?” I ask.
“Not as risky as a night drop but there is the chance of being seen. If timed right though, they should be inside although we don’t know their habits being walled up like that. They may hang outside until later,” he says.
“Is it worth the added risk of being seen?”
“I’m not sure about that one,” Greg answers.
“Well, the thing I’m thinking about with that one is that Robert, and I’m sure Craig, hasn’t conducted a night landing in the 130, especially with NVG’s. They’ll have to if we drop at night. That means we’ll have to practice those tonight and drop the next day if we decide on a night drop,” I say.
“That’s one of the things I was worried about,” Robert chimes in.
“Alright, let’s table that and come back to it,” I say. “How do you feel about the HALO jump itself?”