She hadn’t held him or touched him since yesterday and a day was too long. But his kiss felt…different.
His hands weren’t upon her, drawing her body close to his like he usually did, and his mouth didn’t roam her throat like she was used to.
In fact, it was several moments before he kissed her back at all. And even then, it felt…careful.
Scarlet drew back. “What’s wrong?”
Tristan licked his lips and took a deep breath. Hesitation clouded his face as he paused. “I’m not Tristan.” He looked at her apologetically. “I’m his twin brother, Gabriel.”
Scarlet’s heart stopped.
“You lied.” Ana stormed into the dining hall and walked up to Cornelius. She paid no mind to the dozen attendants waiting beside the table.
Smiling at his servants, Cornelius said, “Please allow us a moment to ourselves.”
Ana waited until every servant had left the room before ranting. “You promised me a marriage between Tristan and Scarlet. That boy,” Ana pointed to the door she had just walked through, “is not Tristan. I will not have it. Scarlet will marry no one but Tristan, or you will not gain possession of the map.”
Cornelius sighed. “You tire me with your threats, Ana. Scarlet will marry Tristan’s brother, Gabriel, and you will give me the map. That is how it will work.”
“No. You promised me Tristan—”
“I promised you a son!” Cornelius pounded a fist on the table. “I offer to marry your dirty, penniless daughter to my noble son and you dare to threaten me? Your daughter will marry Gabriel.”
“She will not.” Ana held her chin high, furious with herself for trusting a man.
Cornelius brought his face close to Ana’s, his wine-saturated breath drifting across her cheeks. “Very well. Scarlet does not need to marry Gabriel. She may go back to poverty with you. But Tristan will not return to her.”
Ana slanted her eyes to him. “What do you mean?”
“Tristan is now in the service of the king. He left this morning, not to return until the king says. Which is likely years.” Cornelius shrugged. “So, go on. Embarrass yourself and your family by denouncing a noble marriage. But your daughter will not be with Tristan. Not ever.”
Ana thought for a moment.
What a mess she had made. Tristan was gone and Ana would surely die soon, leaving Scarlet with no one to care for her.
What a horrible mess.
Scarlet was going to lose everything she loved. But she might still have a chance at a noble life.
Ana bowed her head respectfully, hoping to stroke the earl’s great pride and gain a bit of mercy. “Scarlet will happily marry Gabriel. And I will give you the map upon their vows.”
Cornelius smiled again. “You are no good at being submissive, Ana. But I appreciate your effort.” He clapped his hands and the servants came back in. “We shall have a proper engagement dinner and pretend this whole thing never happened.”
Ana nodded and excused herself. She needed to find Scarlet.
Immediately.
38
Gabriel slowly made his way to the front door of the cabin, trying to avoid the sick feeling in his stomach. Scarlet was here to “talk.” Which didn’t sound good.
Opening the door, he started to say hello when Scarlet interrupted him.
“Why are you dating me?” Her voice was soft and her eyes big.
“Uh…” Wrong answer, wrong answer. “Because I love you.”
“I love you too,” she said quickly. “But why are you dating me?” Scarlet’s face wasn’t angry or sour, she was simply…curious.
“Because you’re a piece of my life.” And you distract me from the cold emptiness that sucks away my hope.
“Yes, but I’m also a piece of your curse.” Scarlet paced the porch for a few seconds, the wooden planks beneath her feet creaking.
Were they really having this conversation on his porch?
Scarlet shook her head with a groan. “What are we doing, Gabriel?” She stopped pacing and looked at him with defeated eyes. “This is crazy.”
“What’s crazy?”
She gestured back and forth between them. “This. Us. We’re crazy.”
Gabriel stepped outside and shut the door behind him since, apparently, they were having this conversation on the porch.
Scarlet continued, “We can’t be together just because of some stupid curse, Gabriel. That’s dumb. I mean,” she ran a hand through her hair, “I keep dying because of a curse, and Tristan is probably shaking in pain somewhere right now because of a curse, and you…” She looked up at him sadly, “you aren’t free to love whoever you want because of a curse.”
She blinked. “We shouldn’t be dating, Gabriel. We should be breaking the curse.”
Gabriel was silent. Mostly because he couldn’t argue with anything Scarlet had said. But also, because the hole in his chest was growing wider and taking over his lungs.
He was losing Scarlet. He was losing hope.
But was it fair for him to hold on to her? To ask her to stay with him just so his soul wouldn’t ache?
No.
She was better off free. And she always had been.
Scarlet took a step forward and looked into Gabriel’s eyes, her face small and genuine. She softened her voice. “If we end up together, it needs to be because….” She searched his face. “Because we can’t live without each other. Not because we have no choice.” Her eyes skated across his face. “Don’t you think?”
The hole continued to expand and he could do nothing to stop it. Because Scarlet was right.
He slowly nodded. “Yes.” Pressing his lips together, he said, “If we’re meant to be together it shouldn’t be like this.”
It hurt to say that aloud. To admit it.
Scarlet’s face looked relieved and worried and hopeful all at the same time. “Do you really mean that?”
He nodded. “Yes, I do.”
And the truth broke him in half. It left him incomplete and brought him right back to the pit of emptiness.
Home, sweet home.
39
After confessing to her that he was not Tristan, Gabriel watched tears gather in Scarlet’s eyes.
“Please don’t cry.” He looked up and down the hallway, nervous that someone would see and lowered his voice. “You can’t cry, Scarlet. We have to pretend that everything is fine. You have to smile and nod while we have dinner with my father so that he won’t revoke the arrangement.”
Scarlet stared at the floor with her mouth open. “Tristan was sent to the king’s army? What if he gets injured? What if he dies?”