IV
"AM I SUPPOSED to be happy?" Dr. T'mwarba asked.
"You're supposed to be interested," said General Forester.
"You've looked at the hyperstatic map and discovered that though the sabotage attempts over the last year and a half lie all over a galaxy in regular space, they're within cruiser distance of the Specelli Snap across the jump. Also, you've discovered that during the time the Butcher was in Titin, there were no 'accidents' at all. In other words, you have discovered that the Butcher could be responsible for the whole business, just from physical proximity. No, I am not happy at all."
"Why not?"
"Because he's an important person."
"Important?"
"I know he's . . . important to Rydra. The crew told me that."
"Him?" Then comprehension struck. "Him? Oh, no. Anything else. He's the lowest form of . . . Not that. Treason, sabotage, how many murders . . . I mean he's—"
“You don't know what he is. And if he's responsible for the Babel-17 attacks, in his own right he's as extraordinary as Rydra-" The Doctor stood from his bubble seat. "Now will you give me a chance to try out my idea? I've been listening to yours all morning. And mine will probably work."
"I still don't understand what you want, though."
Dr. T'mwarba sighed. “First I want to get Rydra and the Butcher and us in the most heavily guarded, deepest, darkest, impenetrable dungeon Administrative Alliance Headquarters has—"
"But we don't have a dun—"
"Don't put me on," Dr. T'mwarba said evenly. "You're fighting a war, remember?"
The General made a face. "Why all this security?"
"Because of the mayhem this guy has caused up till now. He's not going to enjoy what I plan to do. I'd just be happier if there was something, like the entire military force of the Alliance, on my side. Then I'd feel I had a chance."
Rydra sat on one side of the cell, the Butcher on the other, both strapped to plastic coated chair forms that were part of the walls. Dr. T'mwarba looked after the equipment that was being rolled from the room. "No dungeons and torture chambers, eh. General?" He glanced at a spot of red brown that had dried on the stone floor by his foot, and shook his head. "I'd be happier if the place was swabbed out with acid and disinfected first. But, I suppose on short order—"
"Do you have all your equipment here. Doctor?" the General asked, ignoring the Doctor's goad. "If you change your mind I can have a barrage of specialists here inside of fifteen minutes."
"The place isn't big enough," Dr. T'mwarba said. "I've got nine specialists right here." He rested his hand on a medium-sized computer that had been placed in the corner beside the rest. "I'd just as soon you weren't here, either. But since you won't go, just watch quietly."
"You say," General Forester said, "you want maximum security. I can have a few two hundred and fifty pound akido masters in here also."
"I have a black belt in akido, General. I think the two of us will do."
The General raised his eyebrows. "I'm karate myself. Akido is one martial art I've never really understood. And you have a black belt?"
Dr. T'mwarba adjusted a larger piece of equipment and nodded. "So does Rydra. I don't know what the Butcher can do, so I'm keeping everybody strapped good and tight."
"Very well." The General touched something at the corner of the doorjamb. The metal slab lowered slowly. "We'll be in here five minutes." The slab reached the floor and the line along the edge of the door disappeared. "We're welded in now. We're at the center of twelve layers of defense, all impenetrable. Nobody even knows the location of the place, including myself."
“After those labyrinths we came through, I certainly don't," T'mwarba said.
"Just in case somebody manages to map it, we're moved automatically every fifteen seconds. He's not going to get out." The General gestured toward the Butcher.
"I'm just assuming no one can get in." T'mwarba pressed a switch.
"Go over this once more."
"The Butcher has amnesia, say the doctors on Titin. That means his consciousness is restricted to the section of his brain with synapse connections dating from '61. His consciousness is, in effect, restricted to one segment of his cortex. What this does"—the doctor lifted a metal helmet and put it on the Butcher's head, glancing at Rydra—"is create a series of 'unpleasantnesses' in that segment until he is driven out of that part of the brain back into the rest."
"What if there simply are no connections from one part of the cortex to the other?"
"If it gets unpleasant enough, he will make new ones."
"With the sort of life he's led," commented the General, "I wonder what would be unpleasant enough to drive him out of his head."
"Onoff, Algol, Fortran," said Dr. Tmwarba. The General watched the doctor make further adjustments. "Ordinarily this would create a snake pit situation in the brain. However, with a mind that doesn't know the word 'I', or hasn't known it for long, fear tactics won't work."
"What will?"
"Algol, Onoff, and Fortran, with the help of a barber and the fact that it's Wednesday."
"Dr. Tmwarba, I didn't bother with more than a precursory check of your psyche-index—"
"I know what I'm doing. None of those computer languages have the word for 'I' either. This prevents such statements, as 'I can't solve the problem.' Or, I'm really not interested.' Or 'I've got better things to waste my time with.' General, in a little town on the Spanish side of the Pyrenees there is only one barber. This barber shaves all the men in the town who do not shave themselves. Does the barber shave himself or not?"
The General frowned.
"You don't believe me? But General, I always tell the truth. Except Wednesdays; on Wednesday every statement I make is a lie."
"But today's Wednesay!" the General exclaimed, beginning to fluster.
"How convenient. Now, now. General, don't hold your breath until you're blue in the face."
"I'm not holding my breath!"
"I didn't say you were. But just answer yes or no: have you stopped beating your wife?"
"Damn it, I can't answer a question like . . ."
"Well, while you think about your wife, decide whether to hold your breath, bearing in mind that it's Wednesday, and tell me, who shaves the barber?"
The General's confusion broke open into laughter. "Paradoxes. You mean you're going to feed him paradoxes he's got to contend with."
"When you do it to a computer, they burn out unless they've been programmed to turn off when confronted with them."
"Suppose he decides to discorporate?"
"Let a little thing like discorporation stop me?" He pointed to another machine. "That's what this is for."
"Just one more thing. How do you know what paradoxes to give him? Surely the ones you told me wouldn't . . ."
"They wouldn't. Besides, they only exist in English and a few other analytically clumsy languages. Paradoxes break down into linguistic manifestations of the language in which they're expressed. For the Spanish barber, and Wednesday, it's the words 'every' and 'all' that hold contradictory meanings. The construction 'don't until' has a similar ambiguity. The same with the word 'stop'. The tape Rydra sent me was a grammar and vocabulary of Babel-17. Fascinating.
It's the most analytically exact language imaginable. But that's because everything is flexible, and ideas come in huge numbers of congruent sets, governed by the same words. This just means that the number of paradoxes you can come up with is staggering. Rydra had filled the whole last half of the tape up with some of the more ingenious. If a mind limited to Babel-17 got caught up in them, it would burn itself out, or break down—"